NEWS, VIEWS, AND OPINIONS.

Auckland Star, Volume XLI, Issue 293, 10 December 1910, Page 13

NEWS, VIEWS, AND OPINIONS.

nfost readers, male readers at all ta have presumably at some time or | taken a-friend home to dine (or v h tea) unexpectedly, and incurred the ""Sim bat" careMly-nurted wrath of rtir women folk thereby. They will the following story. Mr. ■'"-. E^of—well, say Wellington—and wH.o • aMSSwdy bald, went to call upon a Jviaid. vho sXao had a very bald head. fL latte? hospitably pressed the former fel stay to.dinner, and the invitation was wntetl. The host then excused himself 1 taiew moments, after having rung the : lolL and Wd the servant to lay an extra '"''■■ bee. 'The guest, left alone, subsided cllJ " r > and was gratefully Mntemplating the kindly nature of ;his -■=" _dbßt when suddenly he received a great '■'■■ dflb'on the top of his head, and heard to host's wife, who had administered the .How, At the same time, exclaim: "There! Take'that for asking the fool to stay to ' dinner!" The explanation of the lady * that she had mistaken the visitor's cra- '.' for her husband's seemed-Hardly, jjjMjuate under the circumstances.

'•' Ttfio sJtfll! decide just how late a bride but change her mind? If ever a man ■was stoe of his partner it was he who, 1% jnhpiir before the wedding ceremony,, met his bride on the street, and was toId ; V W her to wait round the corner sixty inimrtes later, because she did not want I ,],ex mother to know she was going to get" jnarried. He waited, but instead of the i .gride there came a little sister with a smessage saying the proposed candidate .'for "matrimony had " changed her mind." I go the bridegroom -waited roimd the corner still longer; prolonged his. vigil, in ' !ici- till nearly midnight. Then he was awarded hy the casual passing-by of his .. fair one, who he greeted not with kisses and cuddles, but with fisticuffs. And the 'nan. of law who was requisitioned to ad- > indicate on th e circumstances upheld the _' light of the coy one to alter her mind i at the eleventh hour, but also decided that imder such conditions the bridegroom might the excused a "revulsion of feel- ; jig"'. ' ' •

Volapuk seems to have been oust.cd by its successor, Esperanto, which is mak-

I ing steady progress. There is a rival in the field, however, says the "Liverpool ! Tost," which is the outcome of the eni iente cordial. It 13 named " Anglofranco " i and the following is a specimen which it i h claimed, may be ■ read with equal facility ,:' on either side of the Channel:—"ln con--1 'dusiori, pennett mc to dis that though : maay'apparaiss v<jby • that lavage be special cre-ed for philologues: and gramI narians'who deeid its convenances they ■" ouMi that after all "i tengage be soie ,:laiigage in veitu of its pouvoir to communique the pensees'of un*to the intelligence of another."

; There is an immense amount of "horse !■• Kase* in an article in virile--"Bulled .. ".taesß." on the "Useless Habits of. Parliament," in "the last issue ! of that, lively journal.; Specially to be j commended to the notice of Dominion ; legislators are the following words of ; wisdom on the Address-in-Reply and its , sequel: "Aa for the debate on the Address-

; : ln-Beply, it is just Billingsgate and.dust '' and demoralisation. The occasion is one v ... is-, required-to-stick-tto the subject; for the subject is practically ererything,'and a debate conducted.' -oh these line 3 must, needs, degenerate. -It ;• 'presents "all the features* of order" and | tidiness and strict observance of Marquis of Huckleberry rules which characterise a •washing-day denunciation, conducted by : teo.old"-ttjrmagants. over a back fence.

[--. Theirraiige'of vituperation covers;every- A thing, from the alleged hanging or beer-' ■~' drinlong of the remotest ancestor to the i reported torn underclothing and lack of _. pocket-handkerchief of the youngest deBcendants.', - And in like manner the Parliamentarian shouts, at large about every- . thing his opponent ever said or did; everything he! should have said or "done, every-thing-that eveiy paper ever remarked cbnV owning hijn, all the rumours that have cironlatedsbout him, and any other sundries'that; he can'drag in. It is not pro- . 'fessed. that this childish uproar does any ■•. . good,, that it throws any new> light on ; anything, or that'it influences a single ; i'Wta,', It only represents the noise that ; tio;aDgry;ape makes in the tree-top, or the row. of the indignant Asiatic woman s who goes on the house-roof and shouts her : grieraiices to an utterly -unresponsive - diy.'.'ltjis unworthy of; grown men. A

jj Jnenagerie could do.the job.quite as well .. if feeding time * were postponed for an ', ionr. : A herd of bagpipes' could do it a lot letter; The most that can,be said for it 1b that it i? a deafening old habit which nay once have possessed some . signifitrace, though it has none now, and that ,ta-muck to, say. Parliament, unfor- ; ttitely,-. has a whole terrace of old labitß which get in the way of business, . ;Mi. it seems to be possessed by a devil ; lOicoiiiervatism' which prevents it shed-' ; Bag any of them. Even an intensely '' democratic Legislature is' generally willjug to; reform every thing, save itself. Yet . it'could get through its work in perhaps ™f the time -if it threw overboard the lumber of ajged; formality, arid 'thus get V;M_ne additional sleep, that would do it .Mot; of good! Further, it would'pro'- l:"°ly a -get a .greatly improved class of tajnfier.' The land of person whodoesn't ' -quit the business in disgus? after one j*Bsur?vdebate or one dog-fight over- an Addreas-in.Hepiy is/liardly a desirable .legislator. Ofo put* the matter shortly, |ao fact that he-remains a member proves .■.Mitt is unfit to bo a member." \.

•Agame of chess by wireless telegraphy j *|»';;<arned on recently in the South I •iuantac- Ooean between an Austrian j : "opleman, Count" Kolowrat, and'a Ger- ' jjßuy army .officer, Captain yon Frankeh- *«& .who <-was on his way to join the troops in German South-West *™>W. Count Kolowrat, who was on ™6 Austrian; steamship Francesca, bound to Monte Video, found that .'.' ?* B .:was no one on board with whom •■ » could: play chess, and conceived the \ .** Pi finding an opponent on board *T' v^ er Vessel ™ thia fcb « of Qn , j£' s wireless apparatus. He re- 1 3wed ..the, wireless operator to query ■ ship, and soon got into com««ucatio n with the German steamship I bound 1 from Bremen ' » owakppmund. Captain yon FrankenI Jf'M board this vessel, accepted the and after the preliminaries : settled the game was started. Sraf 6 accuracy, each move was reI iS • Iv Tie Same began at two ' tinu f- £« afternoon, and was condm till s ix i n the evenings fl f t er wa \ Ca Play BaS an iJilt .erval of two hours, when _L y * as resumed, and' continued until iridJlT was decided, shortly before ' »ad r i l ' was a ? ume of 43 moves," ■'■"'\jwiw?: kolowrat wae the victor. the game was proceeding the dis--'-fa__nitex een the two steamships varied ; tt0 «176 to 250 miles. *.. ■ ,

Several correspondents have written to •the London Press'in terms of severe condemnation of .the morbid curiosity that leads so many 'who might be presumed to be persons of refinement to seek a view of the tragic spectacle of a human being on trial for , his .life. Apropos of the Crippen and le Neve cases, the action<rfthe authorities ; atthe Cen- ■ tral Criminal Court I. is criticised because of their apparent- ! complacency inissuing reserved % tKketß" to leaders'' of; society, stage notabilities, and others, arid--the resentment finds its -culmination in the reported presence l of a .well-known musical comedy actress;' -.who .was*, accommodated rwith.a seat on.the bench.as;a privileged spectator. .'We have no com--meht to make on the.action of,those who are hnpeUedto compete for places.aA the New, Bailey tragedy,:, says the "Pall Mall"; their motives.are,.their.own business; (but it is.arguable that if it was found. advisable in the past to exclude first-the public, and then the Press, from viewing executions of convicted <aiminal6, it is, by an extension of the same motive, reasonable tha/t a man who is not convicted Should Ibe protected from the ordeal of an additional torture. The interests of the : public in the accomplishment 'of justice are sufficiently protected by the jury and the Press; the turning of a. -murder trial into o, public spectacle is a survival'of barbarism.: from .which we may pray soon to be released.'by some huimane exercise of authority. '"

I A Dondon doctor writes tq the "Pall Mall" as follows: "You think it strange that Crippen should* have I chosen hyoscme for his fell purpose. Well, Crippen was only a partially informed' toxicologist; he knew just enough to wreck.his defence. He chose hyoscine as Lamson years ago■■,',* selected aconi-tine,-because ea/oh thought discovery by analysis impossible. . But Lamson for-' ■ got experiments on animals and Crippen omitted to arememiber that since Damson's day -the . science of detective chemistry has not stood still. ■ The criminal 'expert' is often "hoist' with his own I petard.' The criminal in esse (or with the wish to Ibe a criminal) will now have to'label even the 'advanced' alkaloids as full of danger to his 'case.' No doubt Crippen had the : iilea, based on the •kind of tbooke an incomplete American specialist might, -read,, that chemical research was powerless- bs to these vegetable alkaloids.'''. .';. *•<• ,

.. Concerning - the • industrialisation of, modern Sundayy Alderman Rogers, speaking at the Church Cohgress "in -London, observed that it - was-. a , fact apparent enough to those''-who'Jived in-the.great centres of industry 'that the difference between Sunday andj.week days 'was getting thinner .and thinner with every year that passed I .' "The, difference between Sundays and ,Bai_k Holiday was in some districts almost imperceptible. In building contracts (in the Old Country) nowadays conditions were insertedproviding fqjg Sunday labour. A builder once said to a' 'man,* "I want you to work on Sundays." "But I have religious scruples," he replied. "Why, the Great Book says that if you or your ass fall into a pit on Sunday you should take him out,",, said 4 the master. retorted the man;-'"but-.if-.I had an ass .which fell into a pit regularly, Sunday after Sunday, I should either sell that ass or .fill up the-pit.** '"..•"•-'- .'• :Z