WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Auckland Star, Volume XL, Issue 160, 7 July 1909, Page 6

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

(By "OLD SALT.")

What an admirable virtue istru'e modesty! It is surprising, too, in whjj. unexpected places it blooms. When Jlj,Hogg made his amazingly indiscreet speech, and subsequently retired from the Cabinet, there certainly was a little milt interest exhibited by the public. Tla incident seems to have grown in importance with the effluxion of .time-r-ifc js.of course, impossible for Mr. Hogg to grot?;. in importance, for that gentleman referi to his fall from grace as a. "pplifoil upheaval." It is probable that befaV our modest friend is elevated again ta Ministerial rank, there will be required something in the nature of a national ea-rthquake or an Imperial geyser.

An unemployed carpenter writes mc, and prefaces some verses with fcWremark: "I claim to be entitled tg findm outlet for ray inmost feelings." Without contesting the claim, I beg to suggest that the making of verses, although sometimes an excellent safety-wlv* for; an over-charged -heart, inflict* a certain' amount of hardship upon one'js 'neigV bours. Here is a specimen:*—

'They think New Zealand's bubble's burst, And they're mating such a txmy' : Cause things aie slack, and .now we'ri A sort of exodus

1 ' -m& ■• The author has all my. sjijipaihyw.vA I earnestly hope he will not be long Sritliout employment at his trade. , . The .'yfcSx is not entirely unselfish, for a. part fpi •my trade is the making of verges, .and I am fearful of such a formidable EicV ■mond coming onto the little field when t/he feed is so scanty.

News comes of a murderous attack upon a lady passenger while travelling by a Dutch steamer somewhere in the Straits Settlements. The captain; at once mustered his ere» T , and detected tha principal assailant by the violent throb"' bing of his heart; his companion-ft' crime was also arrested. have the evils of cigarette smoking tea pointed out to the young-, but I hope that my juvenile readers will imbibe a lesson from this news item and recognise that; the acquisition of a smoker's heart :wj, lead to the gallows. How straJigeJy-at sea, by the way, are some newspaper i» poxters, when their duties take fchei aboard ship. This is how the report " They were handcuffed and taken Tip* the bridge; where they were tied onjojK posite sides of the ship's side, iinmediafelj: before the gaze of the officer oil watch." As an old ship's officer, I have sometimes prided myself upon my adaptability, biit the Dutch Mercantile Marine seems toiei a very high standard of -what is knows as a thoroughly good " all rouiid * : 0<

Women have been accused of ladaag * sense of humour, but one, at least, can fearlessly plead not guilty to the.- ; «fliaige.". A lady speaker at a meeting corivenelia' Christchurch to consider the question ol universal military tiainingasked heraudi* ence a riddle and then answered it herself: "What would the Dominion te " the Empire fell? A puny infant stpjM* , ing in the South Seas." Which is - WJ! gra-phic and picturesque, and all that sort of thing; but the beauty of the figiin of speech is spoiled by the context, fol the lady went on to say that the "pm>J! infant" would be a prize to ever} , otijer nation; while the only nation, that;ia usually associated with a squalling babj iig«• D nation! *' ■' ■ ! '«■}■■ I Tiie occasion seems to offer opportunity for a little verse, or perhaps I shouU write " a rhyming stanza," since a, BWjveise sometimes extends to many p*?* If foreign nations try to seise ■ This lusty babe ot Southern seas When Mother Empire falls, Raiee Cain and dust, ' Invaded mr.st Invaciers look for squalls! "I have read most -of the articles in oM [ daily papers that have been written oa i the question" (of unemployment), jl have failed to discover any lucid I m-ent for the immediate amelioration $ 1 the distress at -present existing, , ' and;?? ■ this strain, writes a correspondent to f Southern newspaper, with many pM polysyllables. The remedy is so easy: | Distress i s not yet so acute, Relief requires no hurry; And lot who will just starve. The bnlto , Who ecorns Ms Li u( jiey Murray.