WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVII, Issue 218, 12 September 1906, Page 3

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

(By "Old Salt.") I venture to believe that even amongst the most patriotic of New Zea- j landers there will be found -many who j would be quite willing to allow the well- j worn phra--se "God's Own Country"' to fall into disuse. Regarded dispassion- j ately. the expression is slightly blasphemous and extremely arrogant, while such dismal prophecies as those indulged in by the good people opposing the Reciprocity Tariff Treaty, to the effect that, should their warnings be ignored, it will be equivalent to ''selling God's own country." or that dissolution will occur and. like .San Francisco. "God's own country will remain as only a sadmemory, serve to make it ludicrous. Let those who would condemn the policy and commend the phrase, reilect that it is a mere matter of duty for " God's own country"—and presumably, people—to illustrate the maxim, that it is more blessed to give than to receive. It is generally admitted that change of work is as good as play: if this maybe reversed and change of play declared as good as work, then ir. is time thatsome one spoke a word for the Wairoa geyser, which cannot speak for itself, but only "spouts.'-" The footballers. whose play is, at times, very hard work indeed, wanted a change of play, so the secretary of the Kugby Union wired to the Superintendent in charge at Rotorua. requesting a display; but received in reply the" following message: ''Am prepared to play Wairoa, Sunday if suitable. General objection to geyser being played on week days." Now, it wouldbe only fair play to send a message to that Superintendent, so— Thus spoke the wairoa. I guess yon may so a Lone? way fcr your shocks and earth-qaat-in*?. Before you're a hope. In despite of your soap. Of liucling this spout Sabbath-breaking. If yea notice a tremble. Well! I .iometiines dissemble. I work when folks think I am I'layin*;; Hut had mauners "twotild be. For a geyser like trie To be spouting when others are praying. A play which has delighted many audiences is entitled "A Woman of No Importance." This description, however, would never apply- to the Wellington lady, whose indictment of the Queen city on the ground of want of cleanliness and backwardness generally, requires—or, at least, receives—nearly two columns of denial in a contemporary. Had onr institutions also been attacked. I presume a special edition would have been considered necessary: although the Wellington lady is quite ur-known, outside her own circle, which is. probably, a very small one. it is irritating 10 think she should have been fo:ced into sti.-h prominence instead of receiving the respect usually paid to anonymity. It is to disperse this that the writer, knowing something of femi- j cine idiosyncrasies, venture- upon a I message of sympathy, and if it fail to ) induce the lady to declare herself, then j the incident may be regarded as the effort of io m i> enterprising Wellington pressman, who was as short of "copy" as our contemporary. "Old Salt re- I grets that the Wellington lady did not I enjoy her holiday, and auvitfi-s b.or to j go back and look after her family. Poor old thing! Verb, sap.: and I await the result with confidence. "A little nonsense now at:d the;*. Is relished by the wi-e-t men." :trd it is pleasant 1o notice that grave, staid, business men can still enjoy the gr.nipt that delighted them as children*. ! The contention as to the highest prieo | ever realised !'or a hid- has set auc-j lioneers. stock and station agents, j k.-.ther merchants and others searching their books, as far hack -is 100:5. for re ,-orils— a really merry game ot "hide ant! i:o seek; It is reported, aud by a fully accredited j emissary—to wit, Mr Donne—acting on behalf of the Exhibition Commissioners, that a belief is prevalent iv Australia, that during the currency of the exhibition really it :<-- not my fault if "the" when used as the distinguishing adjective for exhibition be not distinguished with a capital T) the rates of hotel and boarding house keepers are to soar as high as ten guineas a day for a single room. Chicago is known as a city of sky-sera;>*rs: "but if Mr Donne be allowed tn p ; le up "stories" like tlus, Christc.i'.irch will soon rival Porkopolis and will not have room, even in the basement, for the "first flat" who believes the "story." It is interesting to read of the elaborate arrangements made, -and being made, for lighting the Exhibition Buildings in Christchurch: but for the sake of the Jacks and -Tills who contemplate visiting the city by the gently flowing Avon I would like to remind the powers that be that -Love's Old Sweet Pong* is best sung in the twilight, when the I lights ate low. so low. in tact, that even . the flickering shadows softly come 3nd ' n-o—mark chat "go" please—so if the commissioner* will recall tbe memories of their youth., ihey may yet intervene and effect an economy iv those stupendous miles of piping which threaten to disturb the peace n: both the fond aud the fair. AN APPEAL. ; You who hear the States commission. I Ileed. I be*r you. tbis petition. I r>o not make .'be Exhibiting. I Such a blare of Utrht =it liigtir. j T bee of you be tender, 1 To the youths of either gender. ! How can Edwin clasp the slender ; vfalsi of Augcy. in the lijrht? i Now could anything he meaner I Than to friahren Angelina. i AViih the thought teat someone's seen i her >tret her Edwin's chaste salute? 1 T .\'hi!c the innocent '-.sholder. i Well may wish his oonrase bolder. ! As she sbru.zs a dainty shoulder— "What s he stari:::: at? the hrufoA Dusky alcoves and recesses. ■ Are required for ;ove"s addresses. \~biie each fond one confesses All- the oilier wjuis to know-. It Dan Cupid's to go sportln*r. | livers want supporting. Keep at. least one "court" for "courting." ! And please—let the lights, bo low. I The way of transgressors is hard, so i hc'.'d that not many people would be j found willing, ever were they able, to | make it harder. For this reason some- . thing should h" done at once to enforce , the notice, so prominent in the Auckland i Magistrate's Court, to the effect that ! -mokine; is prohibited. When an easti eily wind is blowing the neighbouring j chimneys ignore the notice, and simply belch smoke into the Court, where ivI nocent and guilty sulfer alike. As one 'gentleman feelingly put it: "Ea-sterly? I Beast ter Hy! 1 call it. They sends you i;o choker, and half choke you whiie | they are dealing it out. I do not like to take liberties with the name of a gentleman who commands such universal ! respect as the worthy Magistrate: but ;it is worthy of note that the smoke so I bitterly complained of, has a very singuJ lar property—it does aot soot a. Kettle!