HIS LAST REQUEST

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVII, Issue 164, 11 July 1906, Page 2

HIS LAST REQUEST

Pat was in the habit of going home drunk every night and beating his wife, Biddy— not because he disliked her, but because he thought it was the thing to do. Finally Biddy lost patience 3 , and appealed to the priest. The priest called that evening, and Pat came home drunk as usual. "Pat," said the priest, "you're drunk, and I'm going to make you stop this right here. If you ever get drunk again I'll turn you into a rat—do you mind that? If I don't see you I'll know about it just the same, and into a rat you go. Now you mind that." Pat was very docile that night, but the next evening he came home even worse drunk than ever, kicked in the door, and Biddy dodged behind the table to defend herself. "Dont be afraid, darlint," says Pat, as he steadied himself before> dropping into a chair, "I'm not going to bate ye. I won't lay the weight of mc finger on ye. I want ye to be kind to mc to-night: darlint, and to remember the days when we was swatehearts and when ye loved mc. You know his riverince said last night if I got dhrunk again he r d turn mc into a rat. He didn't see mc, but he knows I'm dhrunk, and this night into a rat I go. But I want ye to be kind to mc, darlint, and watch mc, and when ye see mc gettin' little, and the hair growin' out on mc, and mc whiskers gettin' long, if ye ever loved mc, darlint, for hivin's sake, keep yer eye on the cat." Mr J. B- Lundon, president of the Parneli Liberal and Labour Federation, writing in reply to the letter of Mr Wm. Johns, ex president of the Parneli branch, says: "Mr Johns knows perfectly well that not a single individual was at that meeting either elected or proposed for election. Furthermore, he cannot be so ignorant of the working of the branch as not ,to know that I have never proposed anyone for membership. Nor can he fail to know that eight, (not 18) followers fled the scene in response to my challenge to him to contest with mc the presidency. Mr Johns' reference to Mr Lawry's alleged 'selection' by the branch is exceedingly indiscreet. Does he desire mc to publish the history of that extraordinary chef d' oeuvre?" W. J. Pringle, writing on the same subject, asks Mr Fitt whether he sent or inspired the report of the annual meeting. And adds: "If so, why state or infer that only the members of the executive left the' room on the rejection of the president's report, when in reality 18 left (I, who was not one of the executive, among them). Although nominated and 'duly elected' (?) at a previous meeting, did not a large number of those present leave the room because they had not paid their subscriptions, and were therefore deemed for the time being to be nonmembers? Can Mr Fitt explain the abnormal increase in the membership (of about 40) rjust before the annual meeting T Knowing Parneli as well as he does, can he deny that there were mem bers of Mr McLean's committee among those new nominees T" Johnny's grandpa was explaining to Johnny about a conjuror he had seen, and about the wonderful tricks he did, finished up by telling him of the hattrick—how* this man could bring oranges, eggs, and fancy boxes all out of ah empty hat. Johnny wondered, but then said quieldy: • Grandpa, that is nothing to what the grocer up our street can do." "Why, Johnny, what can he do?" "Oby Tie can give us the 1/10 and 1/6 butter all out of the same tub."; ', The coastal steamer Squall, previously owned by Messrs. Nicholl and Stewart has changed hands, the Union Steamship Sfrn.Vrtf>y-Win* i'---. j-*— --•*■•-..m-..