THE STORYTELLER.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVII, Issue 116, 16 May 1906, Page 8

THE STORYTELLER.

THE WAT OF HER. "Yesterday afternoon between 3.10 and 3.15," said the bright boy, "my mother killed my father-:—r" "What! Why, your, father went to New York yesterday morning and " "Yes, and at 3.10 ma got a telegram from him. She killed him in half-a-doaen different ways before 3.15. when she summoned up enough nerve to read the message." • SAthi&l DIFFERENT. "Good gracious!" exclaimed the reporter, looking over his account of the wedding in the paper, "that bridegroom will he mad when he seee this!*' "What's the matter!" asked the subeditor. "He owns an old family estate in the country somewhere, I believe, ajpd he told mc to say 'the young couple will reside a.t the Old Manse. , The paper's got it 'old man's:'" tiPHTEP SERVICE. Bishop Brewster, of Connecticut, while visiting some friends not long ago, tucked his napkin in his collar to avoid the juice of the grape-fruit at breakfast. He laughed as he did it. and said it reminded him of a man he once knew who rushed into a restaurant and, seating himself at a. table, proceeded to tuck his napkin under his chin. He then called a waiter and said, "Can I get lunch here?" "Yes," responded the waiter in a dignified manner, "but not a shampoo." THE APPRECIATIVE HUSBAND. "I declare," complained Sirs Duzrit, "1 shall certainly have to punish the children." "What have they been up to now?" asks Mr v Duzzit. "They have simply upset my sewing room. Nothing is where it should be. Needles, spools of thread, scissors, darning balls and everything have been poked away into the most unexpected corners. I had to search all afternoon to find a card of buttons. It is perfectly exasperating." "My dear, the children didn't do that. I did it." "You? What possessed you?" "I thought I was doing you a kindness. After you straightened up the papers end books in my desk so beautifully, I thought it was no more than right that. I should return ttie compllment by putting jom W wisg roam in