MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVI, Issue 288, 2 December 1905, Page 10

MERRIER MOMENTS.

She: I shall never for«ef v; • • you prdpSscd! YS$ i£t Mi fish oufc of wa£er.-4ie. 4 cleverly hooked! S 9i l :*a ß , Oldun: Then I may take it iw / : - Bavg syffipaip-y ffif 4 1 ofe *Hg&< havg nothing trtit «*.- l f /'Are y<ni gbiiig iti fee marri& »& ; < Glad|s, of have a; sLw Sgjjfgy. of the presents I shall get!*. -."^J? As £iit.—Gwen: He tctfs designs lipori him.—Grace , ' ' HM* wretch actually- say ihaf'f-^A«S* % *aidgur image was engraved «j||; Charlie Stoplate: Fumiv wvri i o Chinese have/ the Jady S S&li^ the caller when ggjjr. e *lg^ "And you really thmkv doei& ■ £&' tfiere is hope for him after' alfF ■* "I certaiflly think ao ,. this morning I shall only call instead of twice." e **Ms Friendship.— Mrs Onyx: 1% ' know that Mrs Brilliant's dISLES were only paste, and her silver ; plated ?—Mrs Garnett: Ho W v Wi£ c iS my deargsT? ifieml, A-^-^J^. "But, my Sear fellow, ij tell U| i& impossible for fb* moon W&SLiB ed When Wfe full ft ft «frMSfi wheii it wSnes dow'tf fo f'lilriS , " Where the deuce 1 WGuia &• SSSSS go to?" ii j.-rifrPf Asked ifid Affg*e*ML-£-fftiito sj liarge Family: Mf dfiSf/ fef* time ydu" wefij tnifiking 6t v eetfifc*tS* ried Dfingnier • if Havetf'fc thGflgHC of to'itf years.. ■ v^h™-™ Sff Dresser: DHii'£ ftafl? r ii&fr>mk ' eemri that i &(&£&■ ffi mUmSt MfS Dresseri Oh, yes, Wi sfc : tf£s! do, She had nothing duTl*u/SJS to wear, ted bltte,- you - iciS^-Jg for girl babiis. Pink's ftf fejp,™. ™ WiMie ifttifeuK P&j ence between nifcws ancf £pUsr -T Ifr Sorfeuni: tyeif, W Sob/*!&&. your mother tells, anythutg fe "igf& it's Hewsj but When anycrfg MfE anything iVg „/ : ?;;;:.Tγ.':™ ; , Corrected.— '"S&ejref pathetic sister to her : 'Dro'fl|er7 M(j fiid come home with a bruised'face, "that's what you get. for riding' a kwyde!"-. "Nbj it's what I gqi, |or t as jpj&tilt to ride one/ saM be* ," ',{ ", A small boy went into a sfcop, and inquired: "Moit? Ut those black grapes, a poiiißi , ?, crown,' Tommy." The hoj t«plie4 'Tti a demon for fruit, mate, gji'g Vwjth of carrots." Jones: ''iwhy does your Seotdi ftttld, Mackintoshj always ■ take''U|, Wet ltd , OJ . C f . ; .^.. ; Brown: "oh,he maximum, effect with the mmiaaa te> pensc." "*; v-'v""" One« day an Irißhmaiy.\*TO '.§& with a rod in a shower of rate/ -'ifa observed to keep his line undet the arcb of a bridge. On being asked the ftttoo, he said, "Och, shure, the ilsh*a (viH 1* after crowding in there to get out of ifu wet." . • *?., '''No, Biggs: Castleton was out driving #tt!i the Widow Grasper the other ■jiy'dWil the horse ran away with him, andhe'i laid up in the hospital. " "\. ' -, GrSggs: Well, it worse—the widow might .Kate 1 'n§ |li/| with him. ' '"'' A Very Proper Modesty^-t&f}f<&^f-ing notice hangs in the fltting-roortl U a prominent ladies' tailor: ''Aβ ; . tl» principal fitter - desires ia (ry on hi» own garments personally, eustotwra .ftt requested not to call between raelwui of one and two." "■• . „■.- • "Uncle," saifl the "don't you know that you-'AqgH•"•■.. have your drinking water boiledy «o M to kill the microbes?" ' ,-• • "Well," said the old geattettM, thoughtfully, "I believe I *6lid U !M be an aquarium as a cemetery," •■.•/ A lecturer was once ia » (£!«#■• which he will probably never fptfet While talking art, th« assertion, "Art can never iiejjPS , nature." And at that', mbni<»t cine in the audience crieid eiut.,i».,| Pw VQice: "Can't it? Well, Oieft Wf ,*» you think you would look withwit J*a wig'-r , • .. ';,-'7?;;-;&;■ A ( N?!W NTJISANC|.': 'J^' A new gnu came into the Zw>« And yfu said, "Pray, what cam,f|f»* Hβ,will not eat meat* ~ h> So what can he eatl" - ■'' At noon the new gnu knew y*f taw* WOTJISD NOT FIT HDitv A tramp, badly in need of pants, was walking down .the. when lie saw a sijn across toe ew*w "Dr. M ." He went bver,^«»4 ! W the bell. A lady came to the ■ *P?' "Madame," said the trampy"wJH JQ« kindly ask the doctor to 'give' old pair of fants?" She eihfted, m said, "I don't think they will "How's that?" asked Weary ; Wflß*. "I'm the doctor," replied the Iwj- '7 APPRECIATED. I A Lincolnshire parish once a clergyman who was not ffittcil *jPPf dated. One day he remarM t» W churchwarden: ""You people to appreciate mc. Do you fenP^ 'W 1 on leaving my last sphere of work w people showed their appreciation; #> much that they gave mc a salver?" "That is :*»? churchwarden's reply. "If th* , WOB S only go away from this parish- fls* give the» a, gold 'un!" , SHE "KNOWEP/' A certain elergymai, who bad (Je'Hj ered an eloquent apfsil on a foreign missionary one Sunday F** surprised on entering the villagP W™ the following week to be greeted f<™' marked coldnese by the wor hy 4«»J who kept it. On r the re«wn of the strange treatment, the woman produced a shilling from er, and throwing it before t^ , *' toni hed clefio, exclaimed: ~ .i "1 marked that shilling andfV.J on the plate last Sunday> and herr" is back in my shop again, i *"**!?, very well them niggers neter ** maoAxX"