THE TRAGEDY AT SLOAN'S.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVI, Issue 12, 14 January 1905, Page 14

THE TRAGEDY AT SLOAN'S.

BY MAX ADKLEB. "Do I understand. Mrs Sloan," said the I magistrate, "that yon make a charge of I attempted infanticide against yonr hus- ■ ! "Well, not exactly that," replied Mrs Sloan. •'You see, I " ! "One minute —permit mc to explain, , * I exclaimed Mr Sloan. '"You honor, the sitnarion is this. We have one baby a year and a half old, and then we also nave twins just two months old. Little chernhs, both of them. Their mother's turn-up nose, perhaps, bnt my ey-es and my amiable expression." "His hair, too, yonr honor," said Mrs Sloan;, "his hair —red." "Before we were married, may it please the court, "she was fond of alluding to it Jas aubnrn. But no matter. She went yesI terday to a woman's suffrage convention. i I stayed at home with, the children —three !of them, yonr honor! I have only two arms. ; When two or Hie little folks cried, I woild j set down a silent one and carry those that : screamed. Then the one I put down would j begin, and I'd have to pick him up and lay down another; and then it would scream. I I tried to carry the odd one pick-a-back, J b«t. it was bo use —he wonld slip down I and bump his nose on the floor. Imagine the situation. It was hard. I was nearly I wild. Only two nursing bottles, too, and j the third baby yelling like a Crow Indian while the twins were feeding." "Couldn't he suck his thumb?" asked the magistrate. "Mrs Sloan won't let him. She closed [ the gate of joy, so to speak, against hei , own offspring! Absolutely prohibited the child from sucking its own thumb! Nero, in his worst days, never went that far, I imagine."' "The historians forgot to mention it if jhe did," said the justice. i "Precisely. Well, I got along as well as 1 I coDld, when in comes a boy with a note from Mrs Sloan, saying that Mrs Gibbs, the vice-president of the convention, wanted her baby out of the way while she was conferring with the select committee ou I ways and means, so in comes the sergeantr at-arms with Mrs Glbbs' baby for mc to take care of. That made four. Your j hoDor, if Mrs Gibbs' baby grows up und becomes a missionary, he can preach to the in Africa without leaving home. He has a voice like a fog-horn. So he turned In and eriod, and the other babies cried for sympathy." "It was hard,' , said the magistrate. "Hard! Well, I'm an accommodating man. so I put one twin iv one cradle and rocked it with my left foot; then I sat Gibbs' baby on one knee and Johnny on the other, and by a peculiar action of my legs kept aU four in motion at once. You understand? WpLI, sir, just as calmness began to prevail, in oomes the serjeant-at-arms again, with the secretary's baby. Said Mra Sloan hail sent it. while the secretary wrote up her minutes, and wouldn't I look after it for a while." "Was it asleep?" ' "Well, no. Now I don't want to exI aggernte. your honor. I am under oath, and I pual) try to state the fart mildly. Urn I am sadiy misfaken if you couldn't ! blow- a rhurch orca'n iThh thi 1 secretary's 1 baby's left lung! It whooped and hallooed ilu such a manner .is to alarm mc. Then Oil.bs' huby joined in. and they gave us a ; dnK. Pretty soon our ibroe turned np for a rhoru?. and —well, .suppose a whole : orphan asylum glioutd suddenly have a spasm of stomach arhr. and you can form some idea of the racket.' , j "I'ou'dn't you relief them by singing to them?" : "No, sir; yon couldn't have heard a base i drum in that room." \ "What did you do?" 'I gave the family Bible to one twin, : a.id put Webster's Unabridged Dictionary i «hi the lap of the other, merely to play ; with. I thought I'd go downstairs and get j s.>me milk for the whole crowd. 1 did. ! When I fiime up, as I lmd only two nursi ing bottle!:. 1 emptied a bottle of hair .renovator, whu-h Mrs Sloan uses—-"

! "I don't!" exclaimed Mrs Sloan. i "ADd a castor oil bottle. I put the milk •in these and in an old paregoric bottle, ; punched holes through the corks, and hand|ed them nrouud. When I came to the twins, I they had the Bible and the dictionary lying : right on their bosoms, and they were blue ;in the face; too heavy, your honor! So I , had to pick them tip and sonse them a eonpJe of times in the hath tub to bring them to: and when I got. back into the . room with them, I fonnd Glbßs , baby in ; spasms from the tatne of the hair restorer, j ana the scrretary's baby had swallowed tke cork, and the other child looked as if I the castor oil bottle somehow had not j agieed with it. A minute later iv came I Mrs Sloan and the secretary, and Mr 3 J Gibbs, and ttipy bustled mc out. I don't ; know what happened after that, bnt I bej lieve it was old Gibbs put Mrs Sloan np to j charging mc with murder." ! "The rase is dismissed," said the Justice, and the Sloans withdrew. Mrs Sloan i has hired a nurse.