MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXV, Issue 94, 20 April 1904, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

A DEAN'S HUMOUR. Dean Pigou's "Odds and Ends" is packed with good stories of the clerical sort. Writing of the literal sense in which children take the sayings of then elders, he-'r««»lls- a child who had been hearing in rhureh the story of the creation of our first parents from dust, and who added this to the sweet sayings of childhood: "Mother, I sftn sure when God made you of dust He put a teasponful of sugar into the dust." • Almost as simple, though more critical, was the reply of the little girl who had seen her mother's contribution to the offertory, and heard her afterwards denouncing the sermon: "But what can you expect for a penny, mother?" Dean Pigou deprecates some views of the Sunday school—such as that of the mother who was thankful it had been reopened, "as I know then that my children are out of mischief; and he fears for the accuracy of the instruction which, a picture of St. John the Baptist's head being brought on a charger, represented that charger as a "horse rampant." But he is alive to the of "the Sundayschool and not averse to some forms of Vibery,. though he considers that "treats are overdone- Indeed, one little boy he heard of was se> stuffed with buns and cake that at last, he ensued out: "Carry mc home moth^ 1 * rmx go »o* DenJ ms " Of the intellectual resu'iLa obtained, Dr. Pigou seems less confident. He recalls the mother who had lost her child. "Ah, sir, I am happy to think my lamb is safe in the arms of Beelzebub." He remembers the prize definition of a cherub: "A cherub is an infant angel who died before baptism, and will undoubtedly be saved"; which suggests that other definition: "A cherub is an immoral being of OBCcrtrip «hape"; and he has saved for us this pearl. "Sins of omission are those which we ought to have committed and have forgotten to commit." The Dean deplores the way in which people insist on taking things said in a sermon as intentional personal affronts. Still, as Dr. Pigou reminds us, some preachers have been intentionally personal in their remarks, as, for example, the Scotch minister who was preaching on intemperance, and who suddenly exclaimed: "I don't mean, brethren, to be personal; It is a great mistake to be per sonal in the pulpit, but if there should happen to be an old bald-headed gentleman, late in Her Majesty's service, sitting in the north-west gallery of this church, let him solemnly take it to himself." Dr. Pigou has acted as locum tenena on many occasions -with varying results. A clergyman called at the vicarage to aak if the incumbent -were at home, and the maid replied: "No, sir, master is gone abroad, but the local demon is here." The Dean once took duty in a smnll chapel ciose to a menagerie. "Often when we have been praying, 'Lord, have mercy upon us,' I have heard the roar of 'a lion seeking after its prey.' " Over the. porch of one of the churches he visited were the words: "This is the gate of heaven," while underneath h.ung the announcement : ' ; Please notice that the gate is closed during the winter months."