MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIII, Issue 242, 11 October 1902, Page 2 (Supplement)

MERRIER MOMENTS.

Constance wants us to tell her what a honeyinooH Is. "Well, Co*. stance, when a man and womaa ha T9 been mad. one tht hom«ymo«_. i_ tha time *p*nt in end-avourimg- I* «Js. I cover whioh is that ©»«."

"How is your daughter getting on with the piano?" "First-rate. She can play with both hands now. Says she'll be able to play with her ear in six months."

"Mary," said John, "do you I6va me?" "Yes, John," said Mary. "And you will always love me?" "Yes," "And if I should die what would you do?" "Bury you, dear," said Mary.

Mrs Gaswell: The Czar of Russia has now four little daughters. Mrs Malaprop: Oh, the dear little Czardines!

What is the difference between a watchmaker and a gaoler? One sells watches and the other watches cells.

The parlour sofa holds the twain, Miranda and her love-sick swain,

Heandshe. But, hark! a step upon the stair, And papa finds them sitting there, He and she.

"Are you the judge of reprobate?" said an old lady, as she walked into the judge's office. "I am the judge of probate," was the reply. "Well, that's it, I expect," quoth the old lady. "You see my husband died detested and left me several little infidels, and I want to be their execu* tioner."

Cropper: I see by the posters that young Stager, the-comedian, travels under his wife's management.

Darcy: So do most men but they don't advertise it.

"He stole a kiss when I wasn't irt the least expecting it." "And you were provoked of course?" "Provoked doesn't half express it. I was downright angry. Why, half of the enjoyment of a pleasure lies in the anticipation of it."