"KAPE IT UP."

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIII, Issue 6, 8 January 1902, Page 6

"KAPE IT UP."

A good story is told of a certain closefisted North Country man, who killed a pig. He wished to avoid the customary division with his neighbours, and consulted an Irishman on the subject.

"Pat," said he, "if I give a piece of pork to all those who have done the same to me there'll be very little of my pig left." "Faith, sor," returned Pat, "the pig's your own—ye're not forced to divoide it, are yey?" "Well, how am I to avoid doing so?" "Aisy enough, sir. When the crathur's dead, -be af ther hangin' him up outside the door so that every mother's son ay' 'em will see it. Lave it there till mornin', an' before any wan else is about, take in. the pig an' hide. Then, when the grady naybors came, tell 'em the pig was sthole." "Capital idea!" remarked the owner of ' the pig. "By George, I'll do it."

The pig was duly hung up and admired by the "grady naybors." Some hours after, under cover of darkness, Pat crept round the corner of the house, seized the carcase, and made off with it. Next morning he called pretty early on the Sate owner of the pig, who was stamping about in a terrible rage. "Top o' the marnin' to ye, sor," he b^ran; then, with a knowing wink, "An* hoiv's the pig?" "I wisih the pig was stuck in the throat ,of the .man who stole it," roared the other. "Faith, that's as natural as if ye'd really lost the " "But I have lost the pig," yelled the other. "Some greedy, mean hound has stolen it in reality." Pat pushed his hat to the back of his head and gazed, admiringly at the other. "Be jabbers!" he ejaculated, "ye do it to the loife! Kape it up, an' ye're bound to save your bacon." Pat's companion did "kape it up" to some tune; nevertheless he failed to save his bacon.