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Auckland Star, Volume XXXI, Issue 288, 4 December 1900, Page 8

The following good story comes from Capetown, South Africa: A young lady, who recently broke off her engagement to a young gentleman who is employed at one of our banking institutions, is in a precious dilemma. She gave up her fiancee for the simple reason that her silly little head had been turned by the attentions of a "Gentleman in Khaki," who, wounded at the front, had been sent down this way to recover. Her bank clerk was also at the front, but he was only a soldier pro tern, whereas the regular soldier belonged to a Lancer regiment. But his charms were only outward show, for he has sailed away in a transport for "England, home and beauty," without making any advance on his attentions, and the girl is accordingly left in a transport of tears and mortification. Now, her bank clerk fiancee had made her several valuable presents; indeed wrote to his people for some jewellery—heirlooms in the family—and these gifts the girl had given to her father for safe-keeping. The latter, fearing that he might not be able to take sufficient care of the valuables, removed them to the safer custody of a safe in the office of an emergency relative—an uncle—in Capetown, this "relative" accommodating him with a loan in consideration of the valuables left as security. Well the gallant Lancer has sailed, and the bank man having returned is now demanding the return ot his heirlooms, etc The girl's father, to his ntter horror, has discovered that his worthy."uncle" has sold all the valuables, amongst a crowd of others, by public auction. There is, ot course, considerable speculation rife as to what is going to happen.

The small boy is always great on the typewriter, and usually makes some * amusing blunders. Recently some suburban youngsters arranged a picnic party to spend the day at.a seaside resort. Tlie chief organise* doubtless some budding office-boy, issued a typed circular to each one who had promised to make up the party. Here are a few choice extracts: — "Everone is to bring his own food and also some t thing extra such as gingerbeer, cakes,, oranges, and fruit. Names of extrafoo'd thatyoucan bring bread butter chese and ploney meat chops and fish puddings cakes and fruit. Errng pan and kettel knife fork spoon plate and cup. Tea coffee sugar milk and matches. Salt and peper. Eresh warter. And a lot of money on you and also a few names you can get and story books. Yours faithfully, , Leader of the Picnic Party."

A Kansas editor got his wires crossed, and lost two subscribers recently. One correspondent wrote asking how to raise twins successfully, and the other asked the best method for ridding his orchard of grasshoppers. The answers went forward by mail, but by accident he put them into the wrong envelope, so that the man with, twins received this answer: "Cover them carefully with Straw and set fire to it, and the little pests, after jumping in the flames a few minutes, will be speedily settled." And the man with the grasshoppers was told to "give them castor oil and rub their gums.with a bone."