RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXI, Issue 196, 18 August 1900, Page 4 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

BY "ZAMIEL"

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash: Some write—vain thought—for needful

cash. Some write to please the country clash,

And raise a din. For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

It is about time some of our prophetic sages began to discuss the probability of the near approach of the battle of Armageddon. In the Far East we have all nations arrayed in arms, the Western Powers and Japan combined to crush a rebellion in China. If millions of men are required to make the great battle, then surely this is the opportunity to bring ihem out. How well this verse from "Revelations fits the Empress of China: *And I saw a woman, arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked With gold and precious stones." This woman is described as being seated upon a beast that, from its description, would answer for the dragon-like monster one sees so prominently displayed on Chinese potteryware and vases. There is also another verse that seems to fit the same distinguished individual admirably: "And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, with the blood of the martyrs," stc. This might well apply to the martyred missionaries. ********** Now that our system of volunteering is likely to be thoroughly reorganised it would pay an enterprising man to collect the old tales and legends of t?ie old system and publish them in a humorous form. No part Of the system requires reoi'ganisation more than the part which has to do with the selection of officers, and it is in this connection that most of the humour of the passing system is to be found. It has long been notorious that officers are often elected for no other reason than their wealth and their consequent ability to provide, trophies for shooting1. I have been openly told so myself by a volunteer. The selection of our officers must really be amusing to a foreigner. I remember, how, some years ago, an officer had the temerity to oppose the election of a subaltern on the grounds of lack of education on the part of the candidate. The meeting was simply horrified at such audacious conservatism, and the officer was requested to resign' for his cheek —which he did with pleasure. Then there are wild and beautiful legends of privates stopping officers in the street and threatening to "punch their bloomin' 'cads" if they did not do so and so, all of which is, of course, eminently conducive to discipline. An Auckland corps has a yarn of a captain who used to stroll into the orderly room and suggest to his men. that it was time to "fall in." "Oh, just half a minute, skipper," was the reply, "just wait till we've finished our game," which he was compelled to do. After all the English system has plenty of good points, in spite of the lessons of the Boer war. •t^******** It has been a case of "The devil amongst the tailors" at the Conciliation Board this week. When the master tailors were not exchanging uncomplimentary remarks with the representatives of the employees, they were falling, out amongst themselves, and the reverend head of the Board had all he could do to keep them to the points at issue. The preliminary proceedings were calculated to tangle up a board of Philadelphia lawyers, ■which Mr Collins and his colleagues do not profess to be, but when the rival "logs," each about six feet square, were put in, the Board groaned in spirit.. Mr Bagnall, as befitted a timber merchant, remarked that it would be a good thing to get a sawmill at work cutting up the logs. The question of "pressing" was a somewhat vexed one with the tailoresses summoned before the Board. It appeared that the young ladies did not believe in apprentices or girls doing the "pressing* '; they considered it ought to be done by the men. This is odly right and natural. It will be a long time before a nice little tailoress has to go -without a man to do the "pressing" for her, even though he be a tailor* i . . . *fr4"i"i'4'*"i"i Mi'rfr 'A'correspondent at Whangarei writes to' "Zamiel" in reference to a recent "shot" on the subject of spring poets, lattbldns and welkins, and such-like things. By way of explaining1 the mys'terfotis word "welkin" he says: "Welkin means the skye or high hills i—what the Americans would call a skye-scraper." I don't think our poets are at all certain as to the real etymology of "welkin," but then they are all fond of using words of mysterious and obscure meaning. My correspondence goes on to say that he doesn't pretend to compete with the "lambkin" or "welkin" variety of bard, but he can give a sample of saw-mill poetry, for the benefit of the lyrical profession and the public generally. The following lines (toning down the rude words of the uncultured bushman) were found by him in a deserted whare twenty years ago, in a part of the bush where wild cats roamed in numbers: ~,.

"The bush is very hushed; With Jack I'm pushln' logs, O'er hills and bogs. The while my baccy chewing. Not a sound I hear,

But bloomln' cats a-mewing."

"Ail -day amongst the trees, In twos and threes They's talking wild catmatics; At night they scratne and flglil Ardund' my wharry yellin'; While tins and cans And pots and pans Around the place I'm chuckin. No mortal man can sleep a wink, While the eats are mewln'. This soft of pome, as typifying one of the woes of the poor bushman, gives us a sample bf the teal back-blocks poet, and it's a bit more vigorous and realistic than vague odes about lambkins and welkins. ' >„-.

My rash correspondent oE last week has brought down on her unfortunate head the wrath of certain members and supporters of the "Girls' Korero Club." A young- person who takes herself very seriously indeed writes me, above the norn de plume of "A Member of the Club," as follows-: Would you kindly allow me space in your valuable paper to correct a few erroneous impressions which may have been left upon the public mind by the misleading and ill-advised letter of "A Girl Student,' on the subject of the Korero Club. Your correspondent implies that the club has no real connection with the university, and even questions its right to hold meetings within the walls of the college buildings. A single glance at the enclosed list of officers for the current year will be sufficient to refute the first absurd implication, and, as for the second, that is surely a matter for the consideration of the college authorities, and not of "A Girl Student." Your correspondent accuses the club of attacking subjects beyond its capabilities, and also of treating them in a superficial and flippant manner; and she specially mentions in this connection the debate, "Is the Theory of Evolution Incompatible With Religious Belief?" May I be permitted to direct "A Girl Student's" attention to the following well-known line by Geo. Herbert— "Who aimeth at the sky shoots higher, much, than he who means a tree." And also to Browning's—"Ah! but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" I venture to think those lines a sufficient vindication of the subjects chosen by the club. The charge of superficiality "I shall attempt neither to palliate nor to deny," but shall content myself with hoping that whenever "A Girl Student" attempts to expound her ideas upon a subject so vast in the short space of ten minutes, I may be there to heav —and judge. The charge of flippancy is so gross a misrepresentation of facts that I can only charitably suppose your correspondent was not present at the meeting herself, and obtained her information concerning it from some most unreliable source. One of the speakers who led in that debate had taken her degree in biology, and three others were graduates of the Auckland University. Surely these ladies were as competent to speak upon the subject as even "A Girl Student" herself, though, of course, we are none of us infallible, "not even the youngest of' us."

♦■ J4 1* -1. J11, J»i »|j *.£« tJ - *fy* bj* fc Jj

I have taken the glance at the Programme of the society, as my correspondent suggested I should do. As a start I must say that the club has a very excellent list of officers indeed, and one which should at least ensure its recognition as a \miversity institution. The programme for the season is also in many respects admirable. It is, of course, not altogether lacking in a fresh audaciousness, some might say impudence. For instance, I see they have already debated the question "Our Municipality—what shall we do to be saved?" It is now up to the City Councillors to get up a discussion, "What shall we do to be saved from the Girs' Korero Club?" A little lowei down I notice as the feature for Aug. 17, "Does the press govern, or is it governed by public opinion?" I have not yet heard what was the conclusion arrived at, but trust to learn from some Koreroite. Judging by past experience I imagine that the opinion of a majority of the club is that the press of Auckfand would assume a much higher level were it only under the control of sweet girl graduates. The kind young lady who forwarded me the season's programme inked over with scrupulous care the subject for September 14, and wrote above, "Is Democracy the most desirable form of Government?" My constitution being impregnated with a fair amount of curiosity, I took some pains to ascertain what was the subject it was first intended to debate, and discovered that it was, "Should women take an active part in the suppression of vice?" Lower down was another subject deleted with equal care, but in this instance my endeavours to ascertain wh#.t it was were not attended by any success. More than likely it was a question the propriety of discussing which at a gathering of young ladies was equally dubious.

Another letter in support of the club received by me is from "An Outsider." I append it:—"l read with regret your correspondent's letter in Saturday's paper. Though I have no doubt the Korero girls are well able to defend themselves Irom the attack of this enemy within the camp, still there are occasions when the opinion of a rank outsider is of some little value. I was present at the meeting under question. True, owingl to misinformation, I had attended thinking to hear a discussion upon Euskin and his works, and must confess to being somewhat taken aback at the temerity of the girls in choosing a subject which is still something of a puzzle even to able scientists. But from your correspondent's charge of "flippancy " the | girls are wholly free, nor is the inference of intellectual pride sustained. The girls simply wished to 'Korero,' without any desire or thought of appearing 'wiser than tHe wise.' In a voice which at times was positively charming in its intonation, the young lady who delivered the address did so^ in a quiet and earnest manner. Obviously, her remarks were the result of much thought, though her own intellectual modesty, unluckily, caused her to aver the contrary, thus giving to your correspondent the opportunity she desired for fault-finding. At the close of the speech, the other girls were at liberty to criticise all the speaker had said —moreover, the criticisms were given and accented in a spirit of utter good-fellowship. The girls make no pretensions; the very \massuming name of their club signifies this; nor do they appear to attempt to force their, opinions upon each other—which is more than can be said of a good many such-like societies. But this is not the point at issue. It is so difficult to get our women to speak at all—l do not refer to that anomaly, the political lady agitator— that we should do all we can to help, not dishearten, the girls when they turn the.r attention to something beyond the weather or scandal-making. A notable man, I think it was Sidney Smith, once remarked that a great deal of talent is often lost to the world for want of a little courage. Now, many of these Korero girls are undoubtedly shy, and the laudable object of the club is to encourage them to speech, so that at any time when occasion arises, they can take an intelligent part in discussion. If, at times they seek to fly high. welJ the attempt is"'only amongst themselves.^ Moreover, if they never stretch their mental wings, how are they to gauge their own capacity for flight 7 A really clever woman, "when once she has found her limitation, keeps within it:, but in all fairness to her, Mr. Zamiel, give her the opportunity to find It."