RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXXI, Issue 29, 3 February 1900, Page 4 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

r by,,

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash, Some write —vain thought—for needful

cash, Some write to please the country clash,

And raise a din. For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

Once more the question of the city water supply has come into prominence, as it does every year after a couple of months' dry weather. We are told that .all that is wanted is reliable data to go upon, and that the facts are now being carefully collected. Considering that for the last six .years this kind of thing has been going on, it would seem to any but an official mind that sufficient data plight to have been obtained long ago. By the time the requisite particulars have been secured it will be too late to do anything- even for next year, as the .pipes cannot be ordered until some scheme has been decided upon. . Then, if next summer happens to 'be a moist one, the matter can be hung up again until a really dry spell sets in, and by that time a new Council can once more set to work collecting fresh statistics. There is, however, some compensation even for a scarcity of water, because at the present time the Council is supplying, free of cost, fresh fish with the water. Quite a. number of people have latterly had ,eels in the water pipes. When one gets a six-inch eel ■with the water it raises the. unpleasant thought of how many bacteria also come along that are not visible to the naked eve.

. Votaries of the gentle game of bowls have had a round of pleasure this week, owing to the Northern Bowling Association Tournament being held in Auckland. Bowling is a thoroughly cosmopolitan pastime, for all men are equal botlt on and under the-green sward. It is really funny to watch a game of bowls, particularly when you know nothing1 about it. Other games require knowledge, to appreciate them, but not so-bowl-ing. A novice can find great pleasure in sitting on a comfortable seat under pleasant shade looking at a well-kept lawn dotted with gentlemen all hard at work rolling bowls across the sward. The green is refreshing to the eye, and the antics of different bowlers are really funny. Then, too, there is the tea. This hot weather it adds wonderfully to the enjoyment to have sweet creatures coming along every quarter of an hour with dainty cups of tea r.nd a basket of cakes. Whisky in the sacred room labelled "for members only" is not to be compared with tea brought to where a man is sitting, and handed to one with a ravishing smile by a daintily dressed young lady. Talking about tea and whisky reminds Zaniiel that a. great change has come over .bowlers. There was a time when after each "head" almost the players adjourned for the purpose of lubricating the thorax, but there was no tea then. Scarcely a. man would dream now of gcing for whisky when a young lady is at his elbow with a nice warm cup of tea. Prohibitionists might note this important fact as an evidence of. women's work in the cause of temperance. Originally this tea was started for the benefit of lady visitors, but apparently now the men can do as much in that line as the ladies.

A novice cannot, of course, work up S.U enthusiasm for bowling- itself, but he can get a lot of fun out of the excitement of others who understand the game. One man, for instance, sends off his bowl and remains at an angle 6f 4a; degrees While he watches its progress across the level sward. Sometimes he gently waves his hand Jit the direction he wishes it to go, ag if by Some' occult means he could further direct its course. The " skip " at the Other end often goes through similar mystic signs, but the pesky bit 6f timber rolls on too often right past the spot it was -intended to stop (it and then the player heaves a figii and mutters "hard luck." Another nian will sometimes follow his "Bowl along a few paces, and watch it Earnestly, then.draw himself up .and back away before the crucial point is reached; as if the strain was too great. When the clapping begins and the cry of "played" is raised he turns &way with a contented smile and— takes a cup of tea; The remarks of the "skip" are. also occasionally amusing.;.. As the bowl comes aiorig one will say, "I like him, I like him;" until the black beggar rolls right away from the desired point, whereupon •£he liking, apparently ceases* Occasionally a "skip" wiil give directions piat to a novifie seems quite unintelligible, such as "I want him just 'heTfi; there's' too much timber foe* liiiiti, SO don't ioticli Jack." Now, as ihVoniy timber behind was right on tdp of" the i>omain hill it seemed father, fair for" jack to go, but probably tile player Knew what was meant. ]36ttte cry" but "Too narrow, tod narrpwi" aifhoug-h the bowl seems just as big* as eVef. Others &ay "Take more green," just as if the player wanted a feed 6:c green stuff. An onlooker Will cry 9'ut- £-"N6w, that's a fine head," when' all that can be seen is a cluster of black bowls round a little white one. In' fact, bowlers seem to have a language all their own. The remarks of ndvices are also of interest. After Watching at a rink for a little while one'was heard to say: "I'm quite sure l-coillcl have knocked that white ball to the .gjilly before this. Why on earth don't they aim at it and. not go all round, like that?" Those of course, are the people who know how to conduct ihe"Transvaal war.

- Qne remarkable thing about bowls is that the players are invariably goodhumoured, ready to applaud their opponents' good shot, and invariably gentlemanly. That is where bowlers differ from some footballers. Bad language is 1 never heard on the green, pr, jjerhaps, it would be better to say, hardly ever, because a story is told of one enthusiastic old bowler,who was explaining : the game to a real live Lord, lie was most polite while giving' his instructions, saying, "You'see, my.Lord, ydii" take the bowl 'so, my Lord, and play, it that way, my Lord." Then the. Lord took that bowl and played it,, of course, the wrong way, whereupon the polite old gentleman shouted, "You , you missed."

One of the clrief benefits of the present Avar, as far as New Zealand is concerned, should be the thorough reorganisation and improvement of this colony's defences. A good deal has been done of late years by the Government in the direction of improving the defences in the way ot forts, etc., but the volunteer force needs more attention. The volunteers ha.ye been practically starved by the Governments for many years past; and if colonists desire to see New Zealand put in an efficient state of defence, they must spend more money on the defence forces. The present capitation allowance of £2 10/ per annum is quite inadequate; it should be increased to £5 at the very least; but this cannot be done unless Parliament votes the necessary money. Captains commanding volunteer companies are often at their wit's end to know how to make the capitation allowance cover the cost of uniforms and other necessaries; as a matter of fact most corps are in a chronic state, of debt, unless an officer makes up the deficiency himself, and this all cannot afford to do. In many other ways vohmteer organisations are hampered, whereas the case ought to be just the opposite. Anther thing that discourages volunteers is the miserably small amount of rifle ammunition allowed to them. It is impossible for a man to become a good shot, or even a second-rate shot, on the official allowance of ammunition for practice at the targets; and it. Js most unfair to expect a volunteer to pay for the cartridges which he uses at the Government range in endeavouring to qualify himself to take a useful part in the defence of his country.

The people of Auckland are just waking up to the fact that if Auckland is to be represented at all in the Bough Riders Contingent for the Transvaal, they must raise the money 'themselves. The Government, after the prompt start they made in the way of despatching contingents, have suddenly stopped short, and have certainly fallen behind public opinion in regard to the despatch of a third contingent. It is very strange that the third contingent should have had to be financed by private persons; and it is the reverse of satisfactory to see the hat going round for the equipment of a fighting force of which the Govern-

ment " strongly approves," but for which t!he same Government won't pay a cent. The Rough Eiders Contingent may possibly turn out the best of the three forces sent from this colony, yet the Ministry for some unexplained reason decline to spend any money on it. At the same time I am rather afraid, judging- from what has been done in the South, that the contingent will be found to include men w°ho are not properly qualified. Examinations have been conducted, but nevertheless the Committee representing the subscribers is not the bestjudge of soldiering material. Had the contingent been organised from the first by the Defence Department and the military heads in each centre, the efficiency of the men comprising the force would have been guaranteed; as it is there is some danger that nottoo well qualified applicants with plenty of influence at the backs have been taken on as members of the contingent in place of better men who have no "pull."

The anti-Boer feeling is very strong in the community, and it is' getting dangerous to express even the mildest opinion in favour of the Boer side of the question. Ordinarily harmless old gentlemen who play' bowls and live at peace with their i'ellowmen become unexpectedly virulent against the Boers when the war is mentioned in conversation. "What are we to do on the Tugela?" fiercely demands the portly and elderly individual who sits next to 3'ou in the 'bus. "What are we to do, I say. Warren's a fool —a d d fool—l say! Why the jumpingl Jericho didn't he withdraw his left flank or extend his centre, or go round Some other way? It's as easy as sneezing." But if you venture to any that, a British reverse is due to the superiority of the Boer at the particular locality your irascible neighbour glares at you as if' you were a Boer spy, or something of that sbrt. "Beastly treachery!" he says,at" last; "just low cunning on the part of the Boers. They don't fight fair—couldn't if they tried. Why don't'they come out hi the open and face the music?" just as if the Boers were such fools. This is the type of the great British public whose criticisms on the war are to be heard at every restaurant, at every street corner. They take it as a personal grievance that'the Boer should persist in displaying a little intelligence and take advantage of the natural strongholds of the country, instead of coming out on the level to be carved up into small "joints for the delectation of newspapers renders.

"Never conrit your chickens before they are hatched " is a safe rule to go upon, as it prevents disappointment and occasionally saves from ridicule. When the news arrived a week ago that the British forces had started for the relief of Ladysmitli and safely crossed the Tugela River, the sanguine ones were certain that the day of retribution for the Boers was near at hand. When the captxire by General Warren of that hill with a big name was announced, Consols firmed, and even in Auckland one enthusiastic Briton was so certain that Ladysmitli was relieved, that he hoisted a flag in honour of the event. Now his dearest friend scarce dare to refer to that fact for the flag had not been up very long before it came down again and since the news of the British reverse has been chronicled people are growling" once more. They don't know why such a stupid thing Was attempted and the hero of a few days ago is now scouted. Even the great thunderer, " The Times," has got the blues and fears Ladysmitli may fall, but it must not be forgotten that when General Methuen met with a reverse at MocTder River, " The Times " was the first to suggest that the British would have to retire to the Orange River, but the fact remains that 10,000 British have held in check double that niimber of Boers Under the redoubtable Cronje. Those who think that our men are making poor progress should just consider the reverse of the picture. What have the Boers been able to do up to the present against the British wherever they entrenched themselves. Mafeking with a mere handful of a garrison, Kimberly.with scarcely any regular troops, and Lad.ysmith have all proved unassailable by nrncli larger forces. Lord Methuen also remains unattached and it is safe to assume that if the British held the Boer positions they would be equally difficult to oust, it is one of the marked advantages of modern warfare that the gain is usually to the defenders. The word "advan-

tage" is advisedly used bfMjause, as soon as attacking becomes impossible, the time long hoped for will ha,ve arrived when the sword may be turned into a ploughshare and men will have brains enough to settle disputes without fighting.

When Ladysmith is relieved—if, indeed, it ever will be—it is interesting to speculate on the meeting between Generals White and Buller. Will it be, " General White, 1 presume," with a Parisian bow, or will it be. "Glad to see you, White, old man, just come to my quarters and we'll have a quiet pipe and a chat?" Then Elands Laagte and Ladysmith and the Tugehi and the relief advances and trifling skirmishes will be fought a second time, and Gen. White will wonder why he cannot see clearly and why his chief's form is unusually large and dim. He must be getting old, he'll think, and this must be ins last campaign. And Buller's aide will wonder why the chief's voice is unusually soft. And at the various messes that night the "gilded" staffs and the "luxurious" regimental officers, sleepless, begrimed, unshaven, and in a condition altogether unfit for civilised society will put their feet on the commissariat box which does duty for a table and drink o\it of preserved meat tins " the eternal sacrament of the mess" in '.'hainpagne at five guineas a bottle. .

The bellicose spirit of the. day is extending even to the infantile portion of the population. A Southern paper relates this story of a six-year-old child, the daughter of a Christchurch volunteer. Little Miss was saying her prayers one night, and she added to her usual petitions one of her own devising. It was : " Please kill forty Boers to-morrow!" But a " grown-up " on the West Coast, not content with the shooting of Boers in South Africa, wants to go further and send all Boer sympathisers in New Zealand to Kingdom Come. He writes thus to the West port "Times": —

" Sir, —Being ignorant, and yet anxious, I wish you could, either yourself or through some of your correspondents, inform me upon the following- query : Knowing about three sympathisers of the Boers in this locality —men who are openly wishing disaster to the British arms and men; and, ance policy. I think I can cap that, if their word is to "be taken, would aid in bringing- such a calamity about —would we be allowed to shoot them as enemies of the Empire, or place them in limbo until the war is over ?" I don't fancy the powers that be will oblige that' West Coaster who has " blood in his eye." Fair play is a jewel, and every man must be allowed to have his own opinions, and to give expression to them as much as ho pleases.

A correspondent writes as follows over the nom-de-plume of " Old Colonist." " Dear Zamicl.—l note in your Random Shots of Saturday last you relate how a Waikato settler convinced the Maoris of the bona fides of his title by producing a life assurSome years 'ago in a northern district, nn enterprising colonist, who for obvious reasons shall be nameless, was keeping1 a store where the principal product, was kauri gum' and the principal customers were Maoris, As is usual amongst this communistic race each individual, irrespective of age or sex, has his gum separately weighed and paid for. entailing a considerable amount of time In adjusting each separate account, and wonderful was the array of figures which our friend used to produce to show these simple children of nature that his calculations were correct ; but unfortunately, one member of the tribe who was of a suspicious turn of mind, and had darkly hinted that the pakeha's figures were more clever than correct, resolved to secure a copy of a" wonderful book he had heard of? and described as a ready-reckoner, which told to a fraction how much -a quantity of gum wouU* come to at a given price per ton. He succeeded in doing so, and after posting himself up he en the first occasion of a sale of gum, and in the presence of an adlnh'inpr crowd of kinfolks, soundly rated the storekeeper for robbing his people, and produced the ready-reck-oner in confirmation, and there certainly was a wonderful discrepancy, but bin- pa'kehu was equal to the occasion, and having obtained possession of the mnjric book he explained: "That fellow book no good iiow ; you see date on page ; two year old. That just, year's ready-reckoner. All same almanack, no good for this year.''

Jlcsult collapKe of i\ budding ranga-. tiro, and triumph of civilisation. I may say that our friend has retired froitn business, and is nt • present a prominent citizen, a local pollltcal light, a J.l*., as well as the principol authority on native matters in one of our northern townships."

If it be borne in mind, said Stephen Jl. Enuni'iis, iti the ".Forum," recently, that liquid air is only an advanced form oi' coinjn'tfssed ail 1, the whole ease at once becomes as clear as day. Everyone nowadays is aware of the immense strides made it) the use of air power during the last twenty years. Hundreds of thousands, of engines, motors, tools, vehicles, and Other appliances are to-day actuated by compressed air. in I'oris a large portion of the mechanical power employed is thus furnished. In New York the public has recently seen the agency in question successfully iii'trociucecf for the service of .street it.ilroa.ds.- And when any rational person speaks of liquid air us a source or vehicle of motive power, he merely means that it is to be used in the same way as all other forms of compressed air are used. The common practice is to compress air to'a pressure of, say, 20001b per square inch for convenience of storage and transport, and then allow it to expand to a much lower pressure" and to become heated in a hot-water apparatus before it enters the working cylinder. In the case of liquid air we have what is virtually an initial compression of 10,0001b per square inch, which gives us a great advantage as regards storage and transport; and then, by expansion and heating, we can bring it to precisely the same pressure and temperature, as in the case of ordinary compressed air.' Hence, if it be advantageous to use the latter substance, it obviously , must be more advantageous to employ liquid air- The great increase of efficiency of steam engines during recent years has been owing to the employment of highei' initial steam in'essurcs. '.Ye are bound, therefore, in all reason to admit that the dtscovery, by means of liquid air, of a way to attain vast initial air pressures opens the .door to higher efficiencies and greatly extended utinties in the use of air power.