ENLISTING A LAWYER.

Auckland Star, Volume XXIX, Issue 148, 25 June 1898, Page 3 (Supplement)

ENLISTING A LAWYER.

An old recruiting sergeant tells tbe folloAving:—l 'listed a recruit in Dublin, and put the question to .him, as is usual, and gave him the shilling and walked him to the barracks as> fine as a fiddle. Well, in a feAv days he Avas claimed as a 'prentice, snd so he AA'as had up before the Mayor, and he committed him for trial. At the following 'sizes I Avas called as a: witness, and the laAvyer that defended him told me that I did not 'list him. 'I did,' says I.

'Did you put the question to him rightly?' said he.

'I did,' says I. 'By the virtue of your oath, nOAv,' says he, 'just ask me the questions, for I don't believe you asked him.'

•■' 'Hoav do you know?' says I, 'for by this and by that you Averen't by.' 'None of your business,' says he, and he held out bis hand, and accordingly I pulled out a shilling and clapped it in his fist, and then I asked him the questions and he said.'Yes' to them all. 'Were those the same questions you put to prisoner?' says he. 'Yes, they were,' says 1. ■ 'Well, here's your shilling back for you,' says he. T can't take it> sir,' says I.

'Why not?' says he. 'Why,' says I, Svhy, shure, I can't take it back till you go before, the magistrate and" * pay the "smart money"' (which every recruit must pay if he Avants to be released from the service). 'You be hanged,' says he, and he put the money in his pocket, and I called to his lordship on the bench for a AA'itness that I had 'listed him; and oh, but there Avas a roar in the court. Begorra, the judge laughed till the tears ran doAvn his face.

Well, the decision of the court being in my favour, I axed the judge if I might take, away my recruit, and they all roared again, and the counsellor got as red as a turkey-cock and nearly mad. When I told the Mayor, I thought he'd die, and Avhen he'd done laughing he bid me keep the "smart money' for myself.