RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXVII, Issue 283, 28 November 1896, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

\ >8Y, 5

fP*n-,? vjrttsi, a «e:c;r nrmr 9 name ts Jasfh ipom!' write—vain thought! tornendtnl caate, goaif write to please tiia country clash. And raiao » din, Wonw. &n a; in 1 never faah — J. wxitoforftuu ?! opj.e who arc clever afc puzzles will find good material to exorcise their talonb apcn io the 'instructions to vote1 contained in the Alcoholic Liquors Act as applied to the local option pell which is to t.ika place on December <ith. The Act t).'-', 'No licen?e of any description shall be grunted or renewed until tha electors of fcho district have determined : I vote that the number of licenses existing in the district continue ; I vote thak liie number- of licju'oa existing in the district bo reduced : 1 vote that no licenses be granted iv the district. The votor mr.y vote for any one or any two of these. The first and second are decided on a bara majority and ?h*» last on a three-fifths majority. "Cot let tho intelligent elector proceed to fjeb his hand in. Strike out uny ono line, and each line in turn, f.rul discusa with himself or with ft com- | panion what !>c is voting for. If he comes \ to any definite conclusion, or if nob, he j Hiig-if- then try the experiment of striking out f.iie iirai tyro lines and then the last two j lin-.!.••, carefully considering the effect of hia! action in on.eh instance. lam not going to j Bay which ia the be?t way to vote. lam Viro stling with the problem myself, but hope to come to come sort of a conclusion ibefoie J am called upon to cast my vote. * ♦ # *■ *** • » I am very much afraid that the holding of the ioc:a! option poll on the day of the jrenerai election will prove to have beon a blunder, tha danger being that with n rabid agitation for national prohibition all who oro not prepared for such a complete Capsizing of the whole commuuity will cast their \vbight; with the other party to keep things as they are, end in the strife between * liquor ' and 'mo liquor ' much more vital | i?.'uea afiecting tho whole of the colony will bo sacrificed. And suppose prohibition ia carried in res-pect of intoxicating 'liquors, will prohibitionists stop there, or will they be so carried away by their success as to set about obtaining other 'reforms' by the adoption of similar methods. Prinking intoxicating liquor in excess is bad tor the individual, so ia the smoking end chawing of tobacco, indeed I question very much whether greater hnrm is not done by the latter in ■undermining and wrecking tho constitutiona of voting men. It is nothing to the prohibitionist) that beer, wine or spirits jiviy ho regarded as useful, beneficial, or necessary by a large proportion of the '< population, and we smokers may expect to have the came rale applied to our favourite : ■weed directly the prohibitionist succeeds ;"•> yetting the fir.vfc stop on the ladder. Having ceaaed to drink and pmoke, we 1 shall of course be prevented from gambling ! in every shape or form. Although sports ( ot all kinds are heulthy for tha partici- 1 pators and interesting to onlookers, they are productive of gambling, and as iTuinbling cannot ba suppressed in any other way, I suppose we must give up our retentions for tho benefit; of weak kneed , taeiabera of the community who are tempted to gamble upon contests of any kind, ruin themselves. and bring their families to .starvation. Pursuing tile arguments of the prohibitionist and 1

applying them to everyday events will load to ptill more startling conclusions, and

after giving calm and serious consideration to the subject one is led to the conclusion that) the verdict the people are called upon to pronounce is a very important one, and one that should not bo given without due consideration of all tha issues that are involved. #** ♦ * ** * * Ib nausfc bo quite a pleasure for Borne people to have election meetings every night in the week, though I suppose reporters can scarcely be expected to join in tho general rejoicing. Still, even a pressman must feel that th9Be triennial elections sre something like re-unions ab which they are sure to meet old friends, many of whom disappear as coon as the fun and excitement is endsd. Some of theae regular attendera appear to be of tho chestnut order, for they display no originality. During the three year*' interim they seem to discover no new form of interruption, nor do they hunt up any fresh joke. The idiot who gives a whistle of surprise when a candidate makes a point is with us iruv just a-3 lie was threo years ago. The city father is to the fore as of yore with his demand that the Chairman shall be elected by *ihe audience and not nominated by the candidate. Our own William George walks up to the front seat with as firm a tread as lie did in years gone by, while tho man with a grievance against a magistrate is just as much in earnest as ever. There in, however, one new feature j which perhaps could easily havo been dis- j penned with. Ifi is the political woman, j who, forgetful of the courtesy which men : of all types extend to ladies, persists in i interjecting remarks in a shrill, treblo squeak. Wo have heard a good deal cf clip-trap about Iho ennobling infhienco women wore going to exercise in politic?, bat thinking men are beginning to nsk wh?n the work will commence. Since | women cliiirn to have such an influence, I j i for one would extremely regret to pee any < of them coming down to the hoodlum lovel i and rudo'y interrupting speakers. The j i tiino to «how distant from any speaker' 3 1 views i? at the bullet box, and not from the i gsllery while the address ia being de- j jfjvered. j **** * « j 'Chongn the humours of the election have Vint b'-en bo fast arid furious this year as ' on previous campaigns, some amusing j incident* occasionally occur ju&b now ab political meetings. The other erening ont> ' of tho Gidy candidates was holding forth to j a gathering of electors when one of tho ! 'free and independent 1 mounted fco the platform and commenced to orato in sten-j J dorian tos-.es on the many sterling qualities j of 'our- friend who comes before übM this evening,' Thou, assuming a Dan c O'Connetl atbilwte. one hand in tho ! broaat of his co.it, and fcbo nther rasj«>'fcic;»lly pav»'»nir the air, he eors'.iJiiiod : £ 4 Ladies mid j'wtiamen, J am a ciafosicai . t-o]nji".f.' (iisctoiiulous murmurs.) ' Yes, I rcp> ')'.. lam a classical scholar, and (im- E presaivoly), Qn the word of a classical scholar, lailies and gentlemen, I declare ° that ray motto through life has been ' Hero the Demosthenes paused for dramatic s tL'oct, and some vulgar person in the audisnea, wlio wasn't a classical scholar, sup- | jtlier! tho mi«"ing word by yolliae 'Whisky.' j ° ■ No, lad'os and gentlemen,'corrected fcho i Slavics! sni-olar, 'my motto hae been, 1 aia> f:iy, not whiaky, but quod utihs est.' .' 'Go 011, wfifci; ft.ra yer giving us,' yelled mother common person in the front row; • you—* clatsaical scholar ! Why, yon're old c' , Down ■ street. Clasaical scholar, •iiooh !' Then the Chairman had to intorjono to prevent) tho classical gentleman b Tiom inLlicting any moro latin quotations hi an the unbtterod audiesct). ffi

Bsfora this column again appears tho general alections will have baan decided, but although the voting day ia so near at hand, there doea not eeem to be much popular excitement over the fight,. Somehow, the general body of electors ssem to hare lose interest in the return of members to the Legislature. One of the most amusing features of the contest ia the amount ot' 'pressing' required by some of the candidates to induce them to come out; it is evon more remarkable to the disinterested spectator tkun the indecent haßte with which other candidates thrust themselves forward. Like the baehful maiden, these gentlemen are to bo had for the asking, ff only as hod often enough and urgontly enough. The first reply to the customary requisition is in tha worda of Pontet\- song, 'I'd rather not,' then we hear of really preying buHiness engagements, and a hint that' perhaps h better man could be secured. This eeema pretty final, and the ' backers ' of these backward gentlemen do Icon around, and try really very hard to get some influential citizen of their own w»y of thinking to enter tho Parliamentary fray, but a loaing game is an unpopular game, and tho gentlemen can't see eithor the fun or profit of the thing. Then more pressure ia brought to bear on the ' I'd t ithor nob ' individuals, they are told that "their party, their country and their colony cannot do without them, that unless they consent to ba elected the whole social fabric will go to perdition, they are pitted against each other, and eventually arrive at tho ' Well, I will if you will' stage, itid bho clever electioneering agents working one against tho other afc last have the pleasure of seeing every one of the gentlemen who started with ' I'd rather nob' absolutely enter torthe I'arliamontarystakes, and eager for the fray. It ia a pity the?a gentlemen should be pub to such grent inconvenience ami expense when there are many other good men already in the held. They may, perhaps, be served as the olectors of Waitomafca eerved Mr Richard Monk a few years ago. Ho waß toiling the same old tale, and confidentially informed a bis audience that, though he hoped to be elected, it would be better tor him to s^ay at homo and mind his own private alfnirs, or wonls I to that effect). The electors took Mr Monk at hi.s word on that occasion. 1 have not since heard of him putting his position so effectively.

It must have been a touching eiwhfc to see the dramatic Fpectacle which took place in front of tho Onohnnga Borough Council offices lnst Wednesday afternoon at the conclusion of tho election of Mayor of the city on the Mannkou. An ungrateful I municipality forgot to return Mr? Yates aa Mayor of Onehungn for this year, regardless of the fact that to Mrs Yale.l" Onp.hutiga owes what little fame it poesosaes, ns tho tir.«fc town in the colonies which had the privilege of being1 ruled by ,1 lady Mayor. It is to that fact that Onehunsrn ever beo»mo known to the outride world, and to i\!rn Yateß is all the glory, yet. the 1 hankies? ratepayers of the Manukau have sn Roon forgotten that lady's service to lut i!i?trint. Ingratitude, thy name isOnehunga! But: tho pcene I was going to remark on occurred at the declaration of the pull, when Mr Sutherland (jwaa declared Mayor of Onebnnga. The newly elected advanced to Mr* Yates, who stood apnrt with folded arms and sphinx-like expression, and the rivals shook hands in mßiodmnvifcic fashion, and, as tho report put it, 'separated apparently tha best of friend*.' That word ' apparently,' to my mint!, epoilt an ellectivo tableau, for I don't like to think that the two candidate? were only 'apparently' friends whon the Onehunga mayoral struggle wa* over.