Josh Billings on "Buty."

Auckland Star, Volume XXVII, Issue 283, 28 November 1896, Page 3 (Supplement)

Josh Billings on "Buty."

PH'TY is a very hundy thing tew hay, espesliily for a woman who aint hansum. Thare is nob mutch ov enny thing more diffikult tow dctine than buty. It is a blesned thiner that ain't no rulea for it, for the way it iz now, every man gits a hansum woman for a wife. There iz prate power in female bufcy ; its viktorys reach klear from the Garden or Eden down to yesterday. Adam waz the fusb man thab saw a butiful woman, and was tho fust man tew aknuwledgo ib. Bub buty in itself iz bub a very short lived viktory—a mere perspective to the background. Thare aint noboddy but a butterfly kan lire on buty, and git phatb. When buty and good een«e jina each other, yu hay got; » mixtur that will stand both web and dry weather. I hay never seen a woman with good sense bub what had bufey enuff to make herself hily agreeable ; bub i hay seen 3 or 4 witnnain in mi day who hadn't sense enuff tew mako a good deal of buty the loaab bit charming. 'But, az I eed before, fehare ainb no positiff rule for buty, and I am dredful glad ov it, for everyboddy would be after that rule, and someboddy wouldn't get enny rule, besides running a grate risk ov gitting jammed in the rush. Man buty iz a awful weak komplaint—ib iz wnsß, if possible, than the nosegay dieeazOi If tbare is sifceh a thine az a butiful man on earbh, he haz mi cimpathy. Even mithology had but one Adonis, and the only accomplishment he had waz tew blatt like a iamb.