RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXIII, Issue 43, 20 February 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

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Come write, a neighbour s name to lash Some write—vain thought! for needful cash, "some write to please the country clash, And raise a din, For me, an aim J never fash — I write for fun.

Lord Onslow is leaving us next week : par sonsequence we are now in the midst ot farewell speeches and goodbye banquets, and all the other incidents nocessary to the formal farewelling of a Governor of the colony. The graceless section of the local community haye bid the Governor thnir own adieux at a race meeting, while the more staid will remember him ab church • to-morrow in their prayers ; and next week the bulk of the citizens will vie with each other in their goodbye demonstrationsFor a democratic community, we are pretty well imbued with the traditions of ' respect unto our betters' inculcated at the other end of the world ; bub hardly the most advanced Liberal amongst us can fairly growl ab the manner in which Lord Onslow haa fulfilled his duties as Governor of the colony during the past two years, or deny that he has nob proved a more capable ruler —though only a nominal - ruler '—than many a Governor of bygone days, We can all the more fully appreciate a gentleman of Lord Onslow's character and disposition when he is gone, and when we are groaning at a personage of totally different nature, and of small sympathies in common with us. There are lords and lords, and it is to be hoped thab His Excellency the Earl of Glasgow will havo tho good sense bo take a leaf out of Lord Onslow's volume, and religiously avoid any \ undue friction with the Government or the ' people of the colony. * * *

According to the Gisborne papers, two wealthy native chiefs in the Poverty Bay district, having each purchased additional large areas of land from Europeans for sheep-running purposes, have sat down hard on the question of taxation, and refuse to pay any of the taxes or rates or dues of any description that were wont tp be levied on the land when in pakeha occupation. Tho natives havo tho law on their side, for being aboriginals they are mulct in nothing bub tho dog-tax —which they will probably not pay—and so they are able to defy tho white tax gatherer with a calm and holy dctiance. It is rather peculiar to think that the pakeha, who inbroducod the system of landlordism into New Zealand, should have his littlo calculations upset by_ the innocent Maori in this manner, and ib is an amusing commentary on tho pessimistic -railings of philo-Maori writers and speakers who prophesy that the native race will ere long be starved and debouched oub of existence. There are, as is well known, a good number of Maori ' swells ' in the Poverty Bay and Hawke's Bay district, who drive their own carriages and keep their own wines and whiskies in the cellar like any bloated white landlord and runholder.

The efficacy of prayer is one of the moot questions of the day in the religious world, but some good people seem to have a most comprehensive belief in the infallible efficacy of their own little petitions, no matter how ridiculous they may appear. In thia connection I may be permitted, without challenge on the ground of irreverence, to instance two undeniably amusing stories which come from the ' other Bide.' As is well known, the Government of New South Wales are at their wits' end to know what to do with the rabbit pest. The Hon. Henry Copeland, of New South Wales,inaspeech delivered atCo bar recently, said that bhe task now of exterminating the pest he regarded as an almost insurmountable one. No less than 1878 specifics for the extermination of the rabbit, each claiming to be infallible, had been offered to the Government. Amongst those five separate proposals tp do away with *' bunny " with prayer had been received.

The other instance is an item from the report of a recent " Christian Convention " meeting at Launcoston, in Tasmania :— "Pastor Soltau' said he had now full demonstration of the power of God to answer prayer. He knew He could do so, bub he doubted somewhat if He would heed his (Mr Soltau's) little appeals. However, he was thankful to say that Ho had given him a direcb and pracbical answer, for on last Sunday night weok he pra>ad to the Almighty specially to send an earthquake upon Launceston so thab bhe inhabitants would be shaken so thab they would realise their peril. In His own good time and during the very week the Convention were holding their meetings, his request had been granted, and he thanked God for it. The usual prayermeeting broughb the mission to a close. From this ib is evidenb bhab the good Mr Solbau is fully convinced bhab the power of bringing forth earthquakes lies in the hollow of his fab libtlo hand. Keep him oub of New Zealand !

Due praise to bhe newspaper press is so seldom given that ibis refreshing bo note the very gratifying vote of thanks to th° Auckland newspaper* recorded at bhe closing meobing of tho Presbyterian Assembly in this city. In concluding the general vote, tho Assembly referred in felicitous termF to the many Christian virtues of tho proprietors and workers on tho Auckland press. For which good words much thanks, divines and elders. Ib certainly revealed the good tasto of the Assembly to acknowledge the excellence of tho press in the cordial manner they did, and I shall henceforth look upon myself with admiration as one of the Christian-spirited workers whoso words and deeds elicited the aforesaid praif.o. There ia another thing I may remark en passant which occurred ab the closing meeting of tho Assembly winch displayed their good sense and sound judgment. This was their encomium ot tho existing national system of education in New Zealand, qualified though ib was by the complaint regarding Biblo-readmg in schools. If the Presbyterian Assembly continues to maintain as sensible and liberal a position in regard to educational and social questions ns that which ib has jusb made manifest, it need nob fear attock on tho ground of intolerance or bigotry.

For pare, whole-souled patriotism commend 'mo to Korei Kaihau, Tawhiao a private secretary and right-hand man who WM arreted this week on a charge of compSyinthe deduction of a survey brig station at Waiuku. One Lima Ohina Muri, a deputy of Kerej, who is again a deputy of the Maori King, was brought up and committed for trial on a charge of obstructing the survey of certain lands beWt S*to tsativesat Waiuku, who acknewmSite " kingship " of Tawhiao, where nfaon Ka«b» n magnanimously asked the Co»?t to punish him, and nob bis servant Kirn" He pointed oub to he R.M. that even if Kima were put in prison the trigs Sd still, he said, be disturbed by

Tawhiao, and by himself a3 Tawhiao's representative, and thab ib wa3 foolish for the authorities to arrest a mere servant like Kima, and let tho mastors, himself and Tawhiao, go free. He asked, in short, to be arrested ; was pining to be arrested, and would go on pulling up survey pegs till he was arrested. The Court accordingly accommodated Keroi, and a burly detective laid a large and burly hand on his shoulder, and told him he was in charge. Then Kerei was happy, llightly or wrongly, Kaihau, like his royal master, has strong conscientious ecruples on the subject of trig-stations on Maori land, believing thab they indicate something like the establishment of pakeha mana, and ho accordingly holds it right and proper to " run out" surveyors. His willingness to accept durance vile in Mount Eden shows, ab any rate, thab he has the courage ,pf his opinions, and thab he truly believes riimself to be an ill-used man. One thing is certain, and that is, that Kaihau has saved the powers that be the necessity—if necessity ib were—of sending another ridiculously formidable army of police and permanent force men up the Waikato to arrest one man.

The question of women's righbs appears to have sorely vexed the Anglican General Synod a few days back ab Wellington. When Sir John Hall—who is not usually credited with ultra-Liberal views—moved the second reading of a bill to amend some canon or other in order to give women the right of voting ab parish meetings, the bulk oftheSynodmen gob upend opposed tho proposal with a howl of horror. One reverend gentleman characterised the bill as a ' revolutionary measure,' another would 'oppose thia and every similar movemont,' simply because he would, and that, was all, while tho Primate vented himself in a wild shriek against women and their interference in church work. Ho trotted out tho weary old platitudes aboub the terrible crime of trying to reform whab had beon " the traditions of the conduct of the Church from the beginning up to tho present time,' and wound up by a direct threat that if tho amendment wore passod he would resign. Ib is a significanb 3ign of the innate conservatism of the Church when thoy absolutely decline to accord to woinon, whoso work in religious and congregational matters is invaluablo, such a small degree of liberty as bhat asked for in thia case. Women have long exercised voting powers in the churches in other parts of tho world with zeal and discretion, and on no reasonable score can they bo refuged a share in the direction of church work. I hold, with Sir John Hall, that women take a deep interest in the progress and purity of tho Christian Church, and in some departments of the Church they put mon to- shatno.

Tho Presbyterian Assembly has concluded its deliberations, the Southern parsons havo returned to their respootivo congregations, and there is loft behind a pleasant, peaceful feeling in regard to thoir deliberations, which oxtended over a week. True, thoy did nob give us anything very new or startling, and it seomed as if thoy shirked tho promised debate on ' divorce,'bub, on tho whole, somo of the discussions thab took placo wero conducted in a business-like, sensible manner. Occasionally, some of tho brethren displayed a little warmth when unable to havo thoir own way, bub they never degenerated into personal abuse, and thoy havo concluded their mooting in what is regarded ns a highly satisfactory manner. Thollov. MrMcKinney was generally recognised ns tho ' wit' of the Assembly. His quaint observations frequently enlivened the proceedings, and, being invariably pub in the nicest way, proved very acceptable. His proposal that the Moderator should issue a pastoral address, in order ' that all tho congregations should have one good sermon in the year,' was rather severe, but was accepted in the spirit in which ib was given, although the proposal was not agreed to.

Real ghosts and phantoms aro the fashion jusb now, ' That good man Stead ' having boomed them in his Christmas number of the 'Review of Reviews.' Servants have always had a predilection for 'seeing a somethink,' bub until latterly it has been considered an ovidenco of ignorance and stupidity to bolievo in ghosts, and those who did so were regarded as cranks. 'All * changed,' as tho tradegian exclaims, and ib is tho correct thing now to dream dreams ancl sco strange sights and hear strange noises. The fashion, like nso3b other, has found its way here. The labesb ghosb story ia from Auckland. I can vouch for the truth of it, and, though nob exactly in Parnell, it has become famous already as the Buried ot Parnell. Everyone knows Constitution Hill. Most are also acquainted with tho seat half way up en the left-hand side. Not many evenings ago, thab scat was the scene of a tragedy thab burned the hair of a lob of people completely white-or ous*ht to have done if it didn't.

Ib was as thus. Two young couples were oub for one of bhose evening strolls which tend to keep the matrimonial market active in this young and glorious country. Half way through their constitutional they felttired.undtook possessionoi' thathalf-way seat. Thoy had been sitting there rapt in thab silence which is bliss, when a moat horrible and blood-curdling groan was heard apparently from the ground right under their feet. The deathliest silence followed. Tho lads'were for making a clean bolt, bub tho ladies clung to them as a Scotchman to a sixpence. Another groan, of so excruciating a character, so mystical, so soul-ladoned, so agonised, settled tho matter. They could not have moved a linger for thoir lives Again the thick, black, nightly silence which could be felt. At last the fated four mustered up courage to whisper to each other, 'Strike a match.' It flickered wildly and revealed nothing bub four faces fiotn which evory expression savo terror hud fiod.

Whab was ib? Another groan, and a voice ; but, yo gods 1 whab a voice I Buried under'bhe ground, hollow, horrible. 'For God : s sake, help !I am buried hero alive 1 and again the blood-freering moans. ' How do you mean?' asked ono. 'Man! man don't stop—talk-help-dig mc-out dig— dying—lefb filling in drain yesterday. lb ia impossible to convoy the awfulness of those words, coming disjointed from the middle of the earth. Bub the men wore now themselves again. A crowd had gathered round, and stood in cold perspiration with excitement and terror, as thab voice tent up its hollow appeals for help, its heart-tearing groans of anguish.

Picks wore borrowed, and people knocked up oub of bed and asked to produce their tools A well-known member of the Parnell Borough Council passed, and sent in hob baste for tho engineer and some men, A man had been repairing a drain, and had been unwittingly buried alive by his companions. The work wenb o-i generously, bub they got no nearer the man. At last, a rude man came along, and gave the whole crowd away. ' You blanketty thickheads !' he ejaculated. ' Don t you know "the drain trick ':" Go down 50 yards below, and you'll find tho pipe up which some fellow has been having you.' It was too true. The pipe runs just under the seat, and those awful sounds had proceeded from a larrikin just CO yards below, lhe band played.

Whab a destructive and objectionab.e animal tho rodent makes himself in our households and business premises, and the annoyances this pest subjects us to would

make up a lengthy list. Bub when bhe

Tab'really does excel himself happens on an occasion when he alight 3on a case* or evenaamall box of lueifor matches during his nightly peregrinations. The animal's oye glistens at tbe sight of matches,and, unlike a human being, wibhoub fear ot running bhe risk of being sent bo gaol for arson, ho ab once Bebs bo work to raise a big combustion. We have bhe word of the police too in this direction, for I nobice ab bhe Supreme Courb the other day a bankrupt was under examination in regard to certain matters in connection with his estate, and before judge, solicitors, and those assembled, ho told them the police concluded a fire on his premises was caused by rats gnawing matches. Truly, the insurance companies should take step 3 to bring in a bill at the next sibting of Parliamenb thab would in some measure provenb bhe ravages of bho rodenb bribe.

Whab do my temperance friends think of the hop beer cases thab came before the local Police Court this week ? Jusb fancy! Ono of their iavouribe beveragos on analysis is found to contain proof spirits, ono sample thab Mr Pond had handed to him containing 10 per cent., and a second sample 7 per cent. Further, tho analyst stated that the samples wero aboub equal in strength to tho lighter colonial ales, bub ho believed ib would take two or bhree pints of the liquor produced to have any intoxicating effect upon an ordinary man. After this statement we find oub why so many take hop beer, and can account for ib selling so freely. Inspector Broham says he will ask for heavy penalties if any further cases come before him, so thab "those who indulge in hop bcor will now havo to fall back on hotels to get their strong drink.

Our Board of Education has many difficulties to beset its path when tho head teacher of a public school has also his better half engaged under him. The hundred and one things that crop up in this connection are astonishing, and although it may seem hard on my part, I scarcely think that married men ancl their wives should bo employed together in a public school. Domestic affairs may be quietly passed over, but there are things thab crop up which tend to the efficiency and good management of tho school, and on these occasions our education rulers are frequently in a, dilemma how to act. Ab this period, tho Board of Education rocoivo documents from the headmasters of all schools reporting on the fitness and ability of the teachers that aro placed under them. When one of the masters has his wife among tho members of his teaching staff, bhe difficulty frequently arises of whab to say (on paper) to his otnployora regarding the partner of his joys and sorrows. From timo to time, it has fallen to my lot to hear many reports from teachers concerning the ability of thoir wives and duties as teachers, bub probably the best bo reach my ears is that of a head teacher in a Waikato districts, who lately reported to bhe Board relative to his wife as follows : — ' Being my wife, she docs all I require'