RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXIII, Issue 37, 13 February 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

BY "ZAMIEL"

Some write, a neighbour s name to lash Sonic write—vain thought! for needful oasb, Some write to please tho country clash, And raise a din. Forme, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

ANGLICAN Synods and Presbyterian Aseemblies havo deluged ua with news ecclesiastic during the past week, and, in the absence of any more interesting amusement, tho churches havo afforded ample scope for entertainment after a stylo for the last fow days. Those moss-grown, old subjects, tho marriage question, the Divorce Act, the education system and Bible-reading in Bchools, have as per usual beon droned over by reverend after reverend, and thrashed out until bhe majority of the brethren as well as laymen ab largo aro heartily tired of their very mention. Two pet questions for diaucssion this year at bhe Presbyberian Assembly were those relating to Sabbath desecration and bhe falling away of tho young people from the Church. The " increasing prevalence of the desecration of the Sabbath " in the form of plea-sure-seeking on Sundays is condemned, bub no remody is suggesbed for this evil beyond a recommendation to tho Presbyterian people to "maintain fidelity in the observance of the Sabbath " and to abstain from secular pursuits on that day. The question is a very vexed one, and so the Assembly appears to have found it..

According to annual custom, tho Anglican General Synod at Wellington has been raising that perennial grievance, the national system of education, and has given vent to another growl of dissatisfaction at the secular schools, which arc the prido of the colony. The Wellington Synodsmen, however, like their follow denominationalists in other parts of tho colony,have evidontly grown very lukewarm on the Biblo-iu-schools question, and Beem to rocord their disapproval of the existing education system more as a matter of form than of anything more. Probably the utter futility of their zealous endeavours to upset tho unsectarian school organisation and turn the day-schools into Anglican Sunday-schools is jusb beginning to dawn upon bhem. lb astonishes mo to Etee to whab lengbhs secbarianism will ab times lead otherwise admirable men. A Churchman thinks his church is the church, and all other men's " doxies " heterodox, and ho tries to reason himself into the belief thab ibis jusb and righb for bhe State to aid his own religious eecb by pecuniary grants, and icuore all the others. The tide of anti-sectarianism is, however, rolling on, and bids fair to overwhelm, in its volume the objections to secular education, and the exisbing priest-born idea 3 regarding bhe educabion of the young. Tho home, tho ;Sunday-school, and • the church are tho proper places for tho inculcation of religious ideas with the young generation, and any attempt tolnbroduce religious or denominational teaching in the public schools of the State cannob be boo sbrongly coudemned by the voice of the people.

Ab the Anglican Synod in Wellingbon a few days ago, Mr Wells, of Auckland, during bhe progress of a debate on the working of tho Marriage Act, solemnly suggesbed.bhat all persons desirous of marrying should give fourteen days' notice of their intention through the newspapers ! 1 can hardly believe that Mr Wells really meant this suggesbion in all seriousness when he gave voice to it. If ib was a joke, then ib was ab any rate taken vjsry seriously indeed by tho resb of tho Synod. Mr Wells surely cannot have considered what a world of trouble bis idea, if acted upon, would cause to those young members of tho English Church who intend joining themselves together in wedlock. Juet think what a time of ib for a fortnight beforehand would be the lot of the average young Aucklander, malo or female, who had the hardihood to announce their approaching marriage in the public prints !

To-morrow is Valentine's Day. Verily those words havo a different moaning now to whab they did a generation,nay, even ten years ago. Valenbino3 are oub of fashion and bhe" day knows them no more. lam speaking of bho amatory valentine now ; anonb the ' ugly ones ' I havo more to say anon. Time was when stationers' and jewellers' shops were gaily bedecked with highly ornata work in silver paperand lace. The more borders of lace the more expensive the valentine. Beauty of design was sacrificed to superfluity of material. Searching carefully and daintily to the bottom of thab paper lace and flummery, you usually came across two hearts, particularly red and meaty-looking, and under this a verse of poetry. The verse was nob always of bho highest qualiby. The metre was irregular, and it would seldom scan; but these were details. It was to tho point. This is the sorb of thing :

Oh will you be my valentine, \And give mc of your love a sign ? ft'o fill my amorous soul with bliss Oh send mc, love, a soft, damp kiss. Thus shall I know that you aro mine, And not have wasted one-and-nine.

Ib will bo seen bhat the last line refers to tho eighteen-pence for the offering of love and three pence postage.

I suppose valentines wereofuseinhelping bashful men over the difficulties of proposing, but the man who brusbed to paper finery" to express tho devotion of his soul did not much deserve to win the prize. No man ever proposes as he thought he would. The gentleman who attempted the old stylo on the knees would probably be laughed at, bub he would deserve success bettor than the gentleman who confessed his lovo through the agency of the valentine maker. The ugly valentine is a gross affair enough. It has nothing to recommend it. Its vulgarity, hideousnoss aud crass stupidity are peculiarly its own. Ib is bhe remnant of an age of brutal wit, that aimed only at wounding the feelings of those foolish enough to be sensitive. Dovoid of any single good or amusing attribute, tho ugly valentine is doomed. The sooner ib vanishes from second-rate shop windows the better.

We shall all be sorry bo say good-bye to Lord Onslow nexb week. I am nob going to launch oub and say whab a good and tactful Governor he has been. All this has been said many times already, and will be said again at our farewell banquet. 'For ho* a jolly good fellow' is about what all the talkee-talkee will amounb to. Lord Onslow will be bold how sorry we are to lose him, and he will say we can'b be half as sorry to loso him as he is to go. This will be very pleasant, and in another five years we shall be saying tha same pleasant things bo his successor. Bub Lord Onslow has cerbainly boon exceptionally popular. Probably his fondness for sport has made him many warm admirers and friends. A man who enjoys race meetings, and will attend them in all weather, rain or shine, ia certain to win ifow The jjacV.t??>

that he sat a horse as few men can, had 'hands' for a good horsa, and drove

tandem and four-in-hand like a' veritable Selby, were high recommendations to favour in this country.

We know that he has dons many things for us too. His sending those frozen sheep to the best diners in London was nob the leasb useful of many minor ways in which ha has pushed tho colony. Lady Onslow and the children'wo shall also be sorry to lose. The local photographers have excelled themselves in trying to give more attractive pictures of the Countes3 and the ' Litblo Ladies.' They, for their part, will, we think, be sorry to lose our sunny skies even for tho delights of society and seasons, But after all there is no place likehome, and,once complimentary speeches aro over, no doubb all tho Onslows will be glad enough together.

That was a good common-sense speech cf Lord Onslow's ab the Dunedin farewell banquet. He uttered some plain truths aboub bho industrial elasaes ana their representation at our Parliaments that should not be forgotten or passed over lightly, for our departing Governor its not a man who saysthingsunlesshehasthoughtthequestion out thoroughly. Lord Ouslow opines that tho naxb Parliament of England will most certainly contain a largo number of labour representatives, and thab ho has nob the slightest fear for tho future of tho Empire, because those men will take a share in shaping ib. lb may bo taken as a matter for congratulation that Lord Onslow during his term of office as Governor of New Zealandhasseen suliicienbof colonial democracy andbhetideof popular feeling in the colonies, to induce him to somewhat alter his hereditary, Conservative opinions. Lord Onslow was a Tory when he came to us, and wo send him Homo a little bit of a Democrat. If our lato Governor adheres to his opinions announced ab the Dunedin banqueb, tho colony may hope to hear of him in bime to como as occupying a foremost place amongst those exalted members of the British Legislature who have, unlike most of the British aristocracy, a sincere feeling of sympathy for tho mass of tho people.

Our local police require to bo on their best behaviour in giving evidence when a certain representative of tho " great unpaid "is on bhe bench. Woo botido any of bho force who make rash assertions. One day bhis week ab tho Police Court, a cabman was charged with being in an unfit sbabo to take care of his horsos. Ln evidence, ono of the constables stated thab tho woman in tho defendant's cab, in other word.*, was of doubtful character. This-at onco raised tho ire of the justice. He said that the police should bo careful in their language, and had no business to mako such a statement/. It would nob intluenco the Bench againsb tho defendanb in any way. Onco more we exclaim, ' A policeman's lot is nob a happy one.'

' Soo whab comes of being. good,' used often to bo said to 'Zamiol ' when he was a small boy. Now-a-days, however, matters aro completely changed. Tho individual who quietly does his or her duty and gives no troublo is nob half as well cared for as ho or she who has fallen. Take for instance, the honest, independent son of toil. Can he over hope —in point of luxury—to end his days in so comfortable an establishment as the Costloy Home? Can his sons bo reared so luxuriously as tho lads who aro transferred from the Kohimarama Industrial School to the Cosbley Training Institute ? If his daughter should bo lofb fatherless, and try to support herself with honest labour, who will notice her? Let her succumb to temptation, and then see the way kindly disposed ladies will caro for her. Ac public expense a temporary retreat is provided ab the Cosbley Home wibh medical attendance, then good people will take caro she shall nob bo prevented by incumbrance from taking a situation, nay, they will even try to find her ono. \\ hereus had she remained chaste, none of these attentions would have been paid to her. If a man is houest and out uf work, he may hunt till ho procures it. Let him get into gaol and people will await his discharge in order bo care for his future, if a littlo boy is kepb decently dressed and attends a public school regularly he is not noticed, bub if his parents lob him run in rags and play the truant, then ho can go to another school t*nd be invited to vidb at Government House, or go out on boating excursions ab tho cost of some kindhearted gentlemen. In tho face of these things where's the use of being good •

These considerations bring mo to tho Charitable Aid Board, a body that is kind to all bub the unfortunate rcportors who are forced to sit four hours in order that one hour's business may bo transacted. There have been complaints regarding liberal expenditure by this body, but really they cannot help it. Why, those eontiomen are so libera! that they actually givo treble tho time thab is requisite bo transact business, and this generous tendency is also displayed in the unnecessary amount ot talk thab taker, place. This habit of makinsr long speeches upon trivial matters appears to bo catching. -The Board as formerly constituted was bad enough, bub, incredible as it may appear, ib is even worse now. A Chinee would nob sib in the room half-an-hour before ho muttered, " Too muchtalkee talkee." Some mombers seem to think it is n mutual improvemenb society, hold for bhe purpose of debating questions ; others seem to imagine thab they manifest independence by making insinuations againsb tho doctors, whilsb one member's mission is to see that everything is done above-board.

If the citizens knew tho fun they would gob by attending the meetings of the City Council, tho chamber would be crowded each fortnight. The way tho v-utthy City Fathers occasionally flounder ii: debate is truly marvellous. Hero also is a man wibh a mission, who takes copious notes of all proceedings with a perseverance worthy of a bettor cause ; though, by tho way, I believe ho would make a fortune if he were bo publish a journal of Council proceedings. Towards tho close of tho late Mayor's term of office, the Councillors showed a bib oi reetivonoss, bub now they exhibit a decided inclination to kick over bho traces. They converse with each other in loud bones, totally ignoring the fact that some ono is speaking. Occasionally half bho chairs are vacant, while tho Councillors • stand aboub cho mom, or adjourn oubside for fresh air. In facb, unless a really dirty drain ie under' consideration, ib is hardly possible to rivet attention. Probably our presenb Mayor i 3 only setting himself firmly in his seat preparabory to putting on the brake and reining thorn into order again.

I feel inclined also bo refer to the Board pf Education, but roally one shrinks from the task. Nov/ it bus occurred to me that all these bodies mighb be worked by one centra' Board. See what a saving of time and money mighb be effected if all this debating was done away with, and bhe business was left in the hands of the following representatives : — Town Clerk (who might again acb as Mayor), and Secretaries of "'bhe Harbo-.u- Board, Charitable Aid Board and Education Board. These genblemon seem to virtually transact the buUnesa now, and they midrib jusb as well have the credib of doing go, while ft circle of-citizens'-would bo

relieved of the trouble of attending the meetings. The suggestion is in the direction of centralisation, or shall I say federation, and therefore worthy of consideration.

When uneducated men by their sterling merits attain positions of public importance, they are apt to cause amusement by their erratic pronunciation of words that had better nob have been attempted. An instance of this occurred recently ab a suburban meeting, where some burning question had been discussed ab greab length. Ono gentleman present raised a question as to the powers of tho meeting, whereupon the chairman promptly said, "But bhis is not a statuary meeting.'' "No!" groaned a legal gentleman, wno had been chafing ab the waste of time ; "if ib were a statuary meeting there would nob be so much balk." The chairman looked mysbified, bub bhose who saw bho joke appreciated it.