REALISTIC BARNSTORMING.

Auckland Star, Volume XXII, Issue 32, 7 February 1891, Page 3 (Supplement)

REALISTIC BARNSTORMING.

The Heavy Villain Had to Explain Before the Play Could Proceed.

* We were playing in a small town, back in the seventies,' said a theatrical man, • when our leading heavy man had rather a tough experience. All the miners were in the theatre. Well, the heavy man had been persecuting a poor maiden through the two acts. In the third act he came to the powerful scene of the play. '* Ab lasb," he said, '' I have you in my power, and nobhing onearbh can save you. I, who was bhe slave, am now the master." So saying, he advanced toward his trembling victim.

' " Mercy !' she moaned. ' " Mercy," he retorted. t! You bad no mercy for me and I will havo none for you." ' At thab momenb a gruff voice was heard from the gallery .- " You blamed varmint, I'll settle with you." There was the crack of a pistol and a bullet whizzed near the heavy man. " J_ug the son of a gun, boys," continued the voice, and a shower of bullets saluted the stage villain. He didn'b stop long. •In the wing he met the stage manager, who was white with anger. ' "You have broken up the scene," he said. «" Well." « " Go back to the stage, sir, and wait for 1 your exit." '"I guess not." ' " I bell you I won't have the man in my company who is so easily disconcerted. Go on with the scene, or you leave the company to-morrow." 'That was serious. To be stranded in that forsaken town was calculated- to make the heavy man appreciative.

' " I'll go back," he said. 'He bore off his wig just before going on, and, sbepping down to the footlights with an injured expression of countenance, he said :

' " Ladies and gentlemen (bhere were no ladies there, but thab didn't matter), with your kind permission I will resume the scene. Before doing so, however, I want to call your attention to the facb bhab bhe young lady and myself are merely acbing parts. In reality we are the besb of friends. I bear no ill-will for your display of heroic chivalry. I trust, however, that you will curb your generous sentiments, for if you should hit me the play would be interrupted. If any of the gentlemen will meeb me after the show ab McCarty'fl bhey will find oub I am nob a bad fellow." 'Loud cheers greebed bins speech, and! bhe play was resumed.'—Denver ' Republican.'

Businesslike. — Young Spring: "M r Bidqulck, I am worth £10,000 and I love your daughter." Mr Bidquick (retired auctioneer): " Sold:"