How to Talk Well.

Auckland Star, Volume XXI, Issue 187, 9 August 1890, Page 3 (Supplement)

How to Talk Well.

AN INTERESTING CHAT WITH BOYg AND GISLS ON THE ART OF CONVE as ATION.

If one might choose between being very handsome, with tolerable manners, and being plain, with a fine, well-modulated voice and better manners than ordinary, he would wisely prefer the latter. We do not feel the charm of well-taught speech, because ie is so seldom heard. But once felt, it has a spell which lingers in the mind fore vor. The beauty of the face strikes the eye, the tone of the voice stirs the heart.

A fine voice, which does nob mean a loud one by any means, is always a distant one. which can be unerringly heard without effort of the speaker. An indistinct utterance ia always a sign of mental or physical deficiency, which ought to be promptly mastered. And it takes very hard work often to gob the better of this slovenly pronunciation. Learn to speak. It is easier when you come down in the morning to grunt in answer to good morning than to Bay the two worda, but you must not allow yourself this piggish, boorish habit of grunting in place of speech. Neither, John Alexander, must you let your sleepy, dreamy, unsocial temper control you so that you speak in a dull, thick tone at the back of the throat, which is of all others the most trying voice to understand. You ought to feel ashamed when anyone nob precisely deaf has to ask you to say the same thing one, two or throe times becaupn you are too slothful and indifferenb to speak as you should. Anyone slow and thick of speech should read aloud half an hour at a time twice a day, taking a column of a paper and reading through advertisements, news and everything, or recite the same line over fifty times, the objecb being not so much to catch the inflection as to accustom the lips and tongue to the habit of speech and train them to quick movement.

To have this command of language, think beforehand what you must say, what will touch the interests of those you meet, whether it is a word about the weather, inquiry for,their health or their concerns. This ready change of speech needs to be counted out beforehand, as you have your car-fare ready to avoid fumbling for it when the conductor comes around. Everything in life neede a little thinking about till you get used to it, as the brain does its part without conscious prompting. To speak sweetly, make the toilet of your mouth and nose with care three times a day. There should be three minutes after each meal given to personal cares, 'rinsing the mouth, clearing the throat and using the handkerchief which should then make its appearance as seldom as possible. A habit of deep breathing also clears the voice and gives it fulness and softness at command. Only good feeling and great kindness of 1 nature can give sweetness —heart sweetness —to a voice, but the smooth, vibrating tone that one listens for and wonders at comes of physical well-being, a warm, lively temper of mind and body, which may be cultivated by koepiug one's self very comfortable, and then getting all the work out of one's self he ie capable of doing. What to say, and how to say ib, is all there is to the art of conversation. True, this is like saying that earth, air and water aie all there is to the world, as if ib were simple as beeswax. But it is something to know when you want to begin to improve talk, and that is by finding out just what you want to say. The other day a very bright woman asked me how she should write an advertisement for a merchant. I asked her for an idea of what she wanted to say, and the first sentence she uttered was the announcement complete. It was simple, concise, perfect. Happily the forms of polite speech are laid down for us—the • good morning' for those we mebb with whom we are nob intimate, the ' how do you do ' for friends and neighbours. The Greeks used to say to each other when they met in their beautiful garden world, 'Rejoice,' just as we say 'How are you ?' From the same sort of feeling wo say, ' I am glad to see you' to those we favour. Bub after these stereotyped greetings what to say causes many a young mind some bad quarters of an hour. • I like So-and-so, bub Idon'b know whab to say to her,' girls and boys will own in touching confidences. Well, then, find out. Ib is very pretty to hear a shy young lad or nice girl inquire quite earnestly, ' Can I do anything for you, Mrs Jones V bub it is well to ask bhe question of yourself firsb, c Whab can I do to interest this person ?' The old conversational by-law used to be to interesb people by talking about themselves, but a very little of this, repeated only with discreet and delicate touch, is enough.

People don't always feel themselves the central interest in creation or wish to talk about themselves. They are rather complimented by talking about their tasfces rather than their affairs or porsonal interests. You see the safe topics can only be indicated by teaching yourself pretty decidedly what not to say. Avoid questions if you can. It sounds" better to say, ' I hope you are not tired with your long walks,' or 'you must be tired with it,' than to ask * Are you tired V or ' Have you come far ?' Take everything creditable for granted of your companion. Don't ask perforce, 'Do you like music V in a crude way, but, 'You are musical,' with the very faintesb questioning inflection, or ' You play tennis, I suppose ?' ■ And if your unhappy respondent does not understand either of these things, do not make him any more unhappy by pause or comment, but turn for something pleasanter for him. ' .

Learn all the forms of courteous and complimentary speech, but use them with distinction. You should know when to say that you will be pleased to accept a courtesy or attention, when you will be 'happy' to do the same, and when you will be glad, in the open-hearfcedness of frank intimacy. Learn the shades of civility; they give value to intercourse and meaning to cordiality when ib comes. Use the salt and spice of conversation freely, but be choice of your sugar, and, above all, don't be oily ! There are people so unctuously polite that one near them feels like being careful for fear he gets grease on his clothes. One has to take all their smooth words with much salt. Sincere courtesies need no Savouring added. The.Next Nejghboub.