CARL DUNDER.

Auckland Star, Volume XIX, Issue 282, 29 November 1888, Page 6

CARL DUNDER.

More Precautions Against i!ire. I V^EPi, odder day,' paid Carl Dim t\T^f 5? %:p* der, as he wont down to sea l*s'£V*©';§fcA the Sergeanr. yesterday, ' a O;^: \/VRp Ktranpe shentlemaTis cornea £jft ®YM i"to my blaco. Vhas I Carl )~W cf«p# Dunder? I vitas. Say, Mr. $P Vvndcr, vhas yonr family 000 ehtairs? She vhas. Urn ! Vhell, I vhas told ho, but £ doaii 1 belief him, Ib vhas criminal carelessness on your part. Poofcy soon ho shows mo dot my"place can pet on fire in six hoonered deeferent places, und we vhas all bimica oop in our beds. Dot makes me scared.1 ' He wanted to sell you a lire escape. '?\ To ; ho doan' haf some.' • Well, whab was ifc ?' {He make^ me a speaking-tuba to go oop shtairs. One end vhas out doer, so der policeman can call me from der sidewalk, if a lire vhas going. He makes der price bo reasonable "dot all can afford him, und lie puts in a whistle.' i 'If' ee-' . , ~. ' Vhcll, nil der boys come m und ?eo I.'.m, und eaferypody pays he vhas a crood thing. It vhas only fife dollar to saw all our lives.' ' Which are worth at least twice that,'re plied tho Sergeant. 'I goes toped at 10 o'clock,' continued Mr Dunder, without noticing theplur, ' imd I doan' fall ashleep before pomepody blows dot whistle mifc der tube, uud a voice says : 'Hello! Dnnder T ' Yes, dot vhas me. . Vhas I all on fire ?'_ ' Oh, no. I shust call you oop to ask il yon ever had a soft corn between your foes ? ' Nefer ! you vhaa a loafer !' ' Oh, I vhas, eh ! I'll kgo you to-morrow. Good night, old crab-apple !' ' Ib vhaa some loafer, Sergeant, und I vhas ?o mad I can't go to shleep. My wife pays I shall let it all no und keep quiet, buis in a few minutes dot whistle blows again und somepody softly calls mo : ' Hello ! Dunder !' • Yes ; dob vhaH me '.' • Any signs of fire oop shtairs !' 'No.' ' Und I doan' see none ondt here. If you should be a-fire oop dere. please whieble dov.'n queek, so dot we can run avhay.' ' Who vhas yon ?' ' Der Oofornor of Ohio. I vhill call around to-raoirow.' ' V'itell, Sergeant, I doan' be in bed ter, minutes again before somepody whistles again. I goes oafer by der tubs und says : ' Who vhaa dere ?' 'Mo.' ' Who vhas me ?' ' Der policeman. How vhas it oop dere? 'All right.' 'Und she vhas all right down hero. Dot vhaa a splendid idea of yours, Mr. Dunder. Yon vhill never bo purned oop in your bed, ' Did you want something? 'Oh, no. Being as I vha.q passing by 1 shusfc try der tube to .see if lie vims all right Good night), old man.' ' Oo on,' said the Sergeant, as Mr Dunder I paused. j ' In ten minutes more dot whistle blows aerain, und euiery ten minutes all dot night I haf to shump ondc of bod und say : 'Hello ! Who vhas dot ?' 'Your friend, Shudge Comeback.' 1 Und vhas you want V 'Can you lend me fifo dollar 'till Satni day ?' 'No.' 'Vhell doan' blow my bead off. Can't iond me a fiver, eh ?' 'No!' 'Vhell, dot settles ms. Dig vhag a fiplendid idea of yours. I'll come over and talk mifc you eafery few minute.I?.' ' I doan' shleep one wink all dot night, und my wife und Shake vhaa all proke up. Vhen daylight comes I smash dot pipe all to pieces mifc der ax und lick two men who comes in und makee fun of me. Vhas Ito blame, Sergeant?' 'Oh, no.' 'Vhas I some greenhorns ?' • No, let me ace where the warrants are '.' • Warrants ! For me ?' ' Two warrants for assault and battery. Might as well serve them on you hero. 11 you can show self-defeneo or great provocation you can probably pet off with a nominal fine, but if you can'b it will < But Mr. Dunder had #ono, and he didn't return for his hat, which blew off at the door-