TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XIX, Issue 265, 9 November 1888, Page 1

TABLE TALK.

Holiday weather. ' ; ; ■ . Races, review, and excursions.'"' '. Prince of Wales is 47 to-day Crowds of holiday-makers a^ay «eorgie Smithaon's benefit to-mVhfc 3am ae n"sHall HOpe ent«tfca™t\b St. I dangerously crowded this !BiSft-ScllilclrenfreebotheAuck^ ]|a The c.D. Act is now abolished.in Auck- : and heart-burnings in the Burns lW' y mak° a Wilderness an* call ib d runfS fc 4 h t ade! T--groes. g ot : aissss; otago«Cadte^.» y^ri£ffi-^ h. the' Show the truth of the old saying-" It's an ill wnd that blows nobody good!" ' Sir Harry Atkinson and the Hon Mr lergus are in Christchurch on a visit.' to W ilham Jervois to-morrow evening J.he name of the new Governor of South A Asfcralia will be announced in nine days. And after ib is announced, it will be no more than a " vine-days' wonder," eh 2 Property tax returns must be made afc Wellington by 30th inst. ' W. ,J. Blakey, of Devonpoct, is the inventor of a patent spring clothes-peg. Taken as a whole, the Indians, although illiterate, are the best red men in the world. The Dunedin Protection League endorse Mr Saunders's proposal to re-establish Go- ' vernmenu distilleries. Chinamen should be encouraged in their desire to learn base-ball. It teaches them to make home runs. Owing to the railway accident at Azoff the Czar has dismissed the Minister of Kailways. Czartinly a mild method of treating him ! ■' The wonder is his head wasn't ordered off. The Emperor of Germany will pay a visit to the Sultan of Turkey and the King of Greece in the spring. Bennie was asked ir he was afraid of the dark. " Oh, no," he said ; "Igo in great) piles of dark !" News has been received that the refugee " King of Annam has been captured m tba mountains. Lord Onslow, the new Governor of New Zealand, ia at present holding the office of Under-Secretary of the Board of Trade., The trouble with the concert-hall singer who warbles " I cannot sing the old songs " is that he doesn't succeed any better with the new ones.' Mv John BiWn, Auckland, is patenting au invention which he calls " The Champion A 3roducc;Export Cask." Wife {holding door against burglars)— Where axp you going? Husband—Going after the police. I ain't the man to stand . idle when my wife's in danger. . i The Eeirisicm Committee of the French Senate haVe decided that the Constituent) Assembly lias a right to effect the revision. John Murray (Hone Mare) the Maori burglar who escaped from gaol lately, has been seen near Lyttelton, clothed in the scanty garment in which he made his exit. • Instead of the old rhyme " Try, try, try again " ib is suggested that a good method - for struggling tradesmen at the present time would be —"If at first you don'b succeed, fail, fail, fail again !" England, Germany and France have decided to establish a cordon of gun-boats at Mozanbique and Siiakim, in order to sup- , press slavery. Mrs Mysparrow (to new acquaintance) —You seem to be &n inveterate lover of-, the weed, Mr Nicotine. May I ask if your father smokes? Mr Nicotine—l trust .nob, madam. He has bee.n dead some time. Mr George Small, bookseller, Timaru. died very suddenly on Thursday night, He was 62 years of ago, had been failing in health for the past two« or three years, and was not strong, but yesterday was about town. He and Mrs Small retired as usual about half-past ten, "and immediately after getting into bed he expired. At the Lunatic Asylu;ui yesterday afternoon an inquest was held on the remains of a patient named Mrs Annie Cooper. Dr. Philson officiated as coroner. The jury returned a verdict of •• Death from natural causes." At Hokitika yesterday, :i large gathering presented Mr M. M. Gleary with a complimentary address on his departure to take charge of the Lyttelton Gaol. Waikato Hospital Board! have resolved that the new fever hospital for* Waipa natives shall not be erect* id at Hamilton East, but that a new site must be found for it. Magistrate (to Chinaman): "What is your complaint against thi:» young man, John ?" Chinaman (unable to collect a laundry bill): "He too muichee by-and-by." The Emperor Francis of .Austria, and King Humbert of Italy will shtortly pay a visit to Emperor William ; bu>£ they will not reach Berlin until after the ipsit of the Czar. An Order-in-Council in the G overnraenb Gazette notifies that sheep may be introduced by sea from ports in the colony without inspection, except sheep fro.m Marlborough, Nelson, Waikawau, and .Miranda sheep districts. •' Bridget, has Johnnie come home from school yet?" "Vis, sorr." "Have you seen him?" "No, sorr." "Then hew do you know he's home?" "'Cause the cab's hid in' under the stove sorr." Mr W. A. Young (Cobb and Co.), Wellington, has served the Wellington City Tramway Co. with a writ claiming £7,000 damages for invasion of patent rights in connection with certain improvements in street and tram, cars. Application is to be made to the Supreme Court for an injunction preventing the cars in question running until the case is decided. The wretched state of the Court-house, at Hamilton, was made very apparent yesterday, when the rain came pouring through the ceiling, over tables and papers, and saturating a considerable portion of tho floor. The bailiff placed a buckeb under one bad place near the bench to catch the dripping element, and stuffed some paper in the bucket to deaden the lively sounds of the falling fluid, in order not to distract the attention of the magistrate. The cranky building is worthy of a broken-down, spendthrift Government which has over-run the constable, and has now to expose its tatters to public gaze.