RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XIX, Issue 224, 22 September 1888, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamiel!]

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash . -.;' Some write—vain thought 1 for neeclfui cash, Some write to please the country clash, ■■■--■ And raise a din. For me, an aim I never fssh— ~ . I write for fun.

Two or three times during; the, pas. fe„w month Auckland has been footbaUmad. ..It is; the same, every year. ( If there are.no representative, matches over which-,to lose themselves in excitement, they do /the best they,can ;With ;CUp matches., ".Zamiel" had the/curiosity to count the number of players who. were enjoying the j game one Saturday afternoon. He, went by, the column of. matches recorded in Friday's SJcah. . There -wore no less than 35 matches, arid there were some that had come/too late: for insertion. Thirty-five multiplied by 30, the number, of players...in each game, gave 1,050 ;; players. Then there wore two., umpires and a referee to 'each match, .giving another hundred, while the total number .of spectators would run up into big figures. It, seems almost - incomprehensilbe in .a small ;place like Auckland, with only 60,000 inhabitants.-'? Zamiel" could only say, "No. wonder wo ibeat ■ the Englishmen." :, What will the game belike in another half-dozen years,; when all the ".kiddies ■' that are now playing will be grown up ? . ; - ;

A few years ago fabhera would riot have allowed their youngsters of eight br nine years to play the "brutal game." That is all altered now, and the grey-bearded old sinners t&ke quite a delight in the exploits of their offspring ori the football /field. ".Zamiel" knows brie father who has a Son who is a Very good player. I Will call that father Blbbbs. AVell, Blobbs used rbgularly to. attend every match his son and heir played iri, and would go tvSia orie spectator td the other rubbing his hahds arid sayirig, " Who is that little fellow there?" pointing to young Blobbs. .'' My word; doesn't' he play a fine game ? What's his nariie ?", Cunning old dog.

';:'■': o *-»■■■ ■'.■.• *"■■__■ ■_■■■'* ■* :■" . •■y.zy l**. ■■-;.* '■■'■-• :*■■ :.:• '.-. A Then.■ therei is > Viikins. ; ■ Young - Vilkins has. now, got the lerigth of being in the list of Auckland -" reps.;" but three-years ago he had to sneak in througho tho backdoor aftera football match,, while Mrs Vilkins

kept the old man ,engaged: in the front room. The .father did not appreciate the game;, bo bailed to see the finer points of it, and had a decided' Objection to Vilkins,: jun., playing. Suddenly a change took place. Vilkins, jun., blossomed - into a good 'un and secured his cap. Wasn't Vilkins, sen., proud,, and didn't he boast of the prowess of/"his boy " arid how he ''scored that try !".'.. Now -Vilkins,' sen., instead of chasing his son after a s ,match with, the horsewhip or. anything r .handy, chases him/up the tpuchline and cheers him orito renewed efforts. •. The pld/Uian is a regular authority on football matters, and if anyone doubted his ruling on anything the solemn .words—" Isn't riiy boy in the 'reps.'?■'would silence him.

The. most'».;sudde'n ;' convert "Zamiel" knows, however, is old Gubbins. Gubbinß Ms a son vvho e"arly -displayed a natural aptitude for the noble game of i football—an aptitude that the" guvnor " did all in his power to put down. The yoring'un loould play; however; he; used to leave his football " togs":at a friend's, and his father Was never any the wiser. Gufabinv jum; like his frierid Vilkins, juu.j; gradually mounted tlie ladder of football fame, and pno fine

ndorning found ho wis in thb "reps." He did not Want to lose his cap arid have his * sport spoiled, so he did not let bnto ; the old riiari. Gubbiris, jrih. ■, playecl iri.the iriateh,' arid after, cleaning /oft' the stains of battle, retired home,covered with glory. Murder will out, and the young "mari:/waS rgiven away very badly at tea. It happened that a young friend was to tea, and he greeted the "rep." with the words, " Well, Bob, howdid you get on to-day?■' "Oh," saysXßob, with __%■> furtive look at'the'Old mari,','wewere becteri." "Yes; By how much?". Bob told him, and "riamed tho scores'on the.winning side; "Who scored for you 1" "Oh li_l got a try/-' said: Bob;' ' *'/LoOk i here^ young man;" said Gubbiris, "hriveyoU been playing football?'';. Gubbins, .-juri., intimated» that he had; mentioning, the match he had played in, arid-then beat a retreat; nob caring to have the old man blow him up. He returned in about an; hobr, when he neariy dropped with: as-

tonishmerit: to hear Gubbins, seri.,. dis- j coursing learnedly on "gOals," "tries," "drop- kicks,'! " punts,^ >?, fine orrins,'' i "grand, dribbles," and recounting ,:how I they play the gaiiie in tho«01d Countiry;1' Ghbbins,/sen.,: was out at <the retuth match the next week, bufc"Zamiel" fears he did not see much of it; as he hds not the inches bi the Chinese giant; aridcariie very near being lost in the crowd; Ho seldom misses a football match now, reads football reports,diligently, and can;hold: hMiowri with the: best in football talk. No. doribb young Gubbins is delightedw with the change, and exhibits his. cap with pride, without any fear of" the gtTv'nbr" taking o offence. ■; ■ ;■■ -""'■ ■■:■ '..■. .'- ■•■■ . * ♦ ■~#.■■ *. * ':.* *, t. ' , * That " dead-alive sensation " still seems to be agitating the garden of New Zealand, j if,one. may judge.,by the..nuniber of letters appearing in the Taranaki papers, bearing. such classic signatures as " A- X. Cassidy,f, etc. The controversy over bhe late Captain Ikuley's bOdyhaS'beeri carried ev^n to the verge of the grave, and,, shocking to, relate, the Romari Catholics and the Freemasons ..wrangled over the rendering of the last rites to the unconscious reiriains. /Father Cassidy was an old friend of deceased, arid it was bri ..Father, Cassidy that the. ■■; eye.,. of the four-dayß-drbwried man turned, with an appealing look when the cbffin, was unscrewed ; what more natural, thpn, than/that Father Cassidy should wish to say a few. words,at the grave?- The request was granted, but tJho Father was reriiinded that deceased was a Protestant arid that the f unforal, was to be a Masonib one. in accordance with tho wish of the : widow."" What trarispired at,tlie grave has' led to a bitter controversy—Father: Cassidy complaining that the Freeriiasonsbrok'e'their prbmiise by readirig;their j ritual after.he had conducted, the burial service, and theMaspns: allOging that they inaderio such promise and! that, it"was the reverend jgentreman/; who comjnitted a/breach of faith by .burying Captain Bailey with Catholic", rites, /whenhe had only asked perriiissipri to,,read; a prayer over the grave. They fufbher-state that "hisriyeriiipe''aggravated hispfience by delivering a long arid irrelevant haranguo—■;. "a - sort A) of;. sem^scientific lecture "—while the Ff eeiriasons stood in a pouring rain and had a, gpod, few' hard kribcksj.adhainistered to them ; at, M^, L infer that the Father " went for " them,, as ' they, say they had; to, listeri, to geritiriierits " diam'etricaliy opposed to their faith.",;'

'*. . .■■■■ * ■;: * » '; ;■ Whichbvef p&rty is in the; right as to, the tertns of the prior understanding arrived at, "ibM'ble-ir thatbbth-werbwrorigiiri dreamirig thatthe Romish and Masonic burial services could be made to dovetail. A high authority haS-declared that a Catholic canriot be a -Freemason while he -is / alive,' arid it' -is sbrely a vain attempt to try and make a Freemason a. Catholic after he-is dead; Father CasSidy seems toargue'thrib it was agreed to: be a.Catholic Age. vice pure and'i Simple, and 'after. -performing tho' cer^mbn^ -he tprbtpsted .-against' anything further being done and hurriedly, left the cemetery.'. -fte says that "by consenting to others officiating he/ \yould be going against the traditions of his faith and the rules of his calling ■;. * yet; even ;jwhen he saw the Masons there in their regalia, and was told that they mcapt to bury deceased accord-

irig to their ritual, he persisted in doing his share of: the dual ceremony,; .and} consuirir iriatingthatwhich hasbeen declared tobeimpossible—the recognition of a man as being at once a Catholic and a Freemason. The.incident is a fitting. finale to the:.?.dead-alive sensation," and shows how excited the Tarahaki folks get over a little matter. I belieyb thedistrict is-sohealbhy that tboydbn'tknow the appearance of a dead body, and aiuneral isiuph a rare occurrence;that: they may be excused for the anagrammatic feat of extracting ".real fun" but of the occasion. I have no wish to indulge in levity over those recent events. Captain. Bailey's, relatives have my hßarbfelt'synipathy in their irreparable loss, and I sincerely regret' thftt a lot 6f blunderers and zealots - have caused so much needlei-s pain by *their antics at a time when solemnity and decOrum Are most to be desired.

;"'Wivat 'may happen to ".&'■ iriari in _tlie colonies " is a time-wOhv yet ijpt:quotation, bearing on a little episode related by a friend of mine lately returned fro'rii a trip to " the o'theV side." ' Talking of old faces, he said : " By-the-by, you rehieriiber that da-lung young Clawhammer who iriashed all the girls here Some months ago arid suddenly left?" "Yes," I replied, /arid vivid recollection^ of this "'gay dawg", flashed before my "irieiitril vision, for. he really %yas considered the glass of fashion "and" the mould! of form, arid my' readers Avill !po_ssibly remember him without further/preface. .." Well," said my irierid^ "I met hiifri Over there;" arid. then he spun this painful yarn. ~

It appears my; friend \vaß strolling up Bourke-street one evening after a firStclass dinner at the coffee palace where he was staying, when he "suddenly riie'b ybung Ciawhammer, and Of course a smile-followed"' hard /upon mutual recognitioiii They talked of old faces in Auckland, of its lovely clirdate;'Of the proposed tax on poets, arid sundry other burning questions of a like nature, when my friend proposed a run round the theatres. Theyenjoyedthemselves,;andtliensupperwa's suggested atmy friend's Coffee Palace. At the mention of the name young Clawhammer turned a gteenery-yallery hue arid declined, giving as an excuse that ho had an dppoifitinent. My friend poked him playfully in the ribs, remarking the while, " Ah, yoU gay young dawg, you're up to the Bame old game, are you?" -A •sickly smile was the only reply to this badinage, and after two or three ineffectual attempts to regain his usual sangfroid, ho said : " Well, good. bye; I really riiusb go, for Ibave close on two hundred pairs of bodts to clean before Soveri in themorning." ".B-o-ot-s I" stammered my friend. " Yes,',' he replied, ''I'm boots how at ; , - r ,Coffec Palace " (mentioning the place where my friend w#s./staying). ..My friend, was, .bo .completely flabbergasted that.,he migbb easily have been knocked over with a good-sized painpate, especially upon -..reflecting; that his, erstwhile friend must, have cleanod his patent water-tights; at least; seventeen times. And such is life, my masters ; in-, .deed— 'A r iz;zA ■■ i--ay -...■■::-■ -.zy":

" Tho web of our life ' "'"'■"''ls'bf a iningled'yarn; . Good and ill together." There is a "moral" in the above story, whioh those >yho think of. leaving for Australia to bettor . themselves may find it profitable to extract. ' .

# * * * *,*-■;-,- ---'■,o::,;.'" - # • _..;-■•.* ,;.:."■•' v -»o----j The teniperance'eause is certainly spreading, and all sorbs arid conditions of people are < swelliiig its ranks. Now arid -then, however, the advocates of the caUse Become lukewarm (a natural result, perhaps; seeing that they do not believe in stimulants), and the unregenerate enemy has a chance of getting the best of the contest. An in--staricb of this state of things wfts afforded in the district of Mounb Wellirigton last week. At the local option poll ill that region tlie following votes were recorded :— That the number of publicans' licenses may be irtOrea^ed; nil; ■ that the number Of publicans' licenses may not be increased, 1; that the number Of -New Zealand "wine licehSes may be increased, nil; that the ritiniber of New ' Zealarid wine licenses riiay not be increased, 1; that the riumber of accommodation licerises, may be increased, nil; that the number of -ac-' comim'Odation licenses may hob -be increased, li'that. the riumber'Of bottlb licerises may be increased, nil; that the number of bottle licenses riiay-riot be increased, 1. Two or three lessons *ttiay be derived' from, these facts; both by drinkers and teetotallers. In the first plafcO,. one cannot hub adlriire the courage and adherence to principle exhibited by'tlie coriscientious voter ; to>he fighting the- teriiperance battle alone - arid single-handed, as he was,' is Calculated to place hitnirt the light of aherb; and to iecUrb for him rinichein tho temple of Fame. There is OUe-cirbtimstance, though, that iriight niodify this tribute of prdise; possibly the sirigibVoter was the keeper/Of a prib. in 6. hearthedistrict. Ifso,and thesonspfßacchus in the district were in' favour of nioire drink-shops, they probably indulged in. a good ;.*' buss " af be_ the result v?as made kriowri; ; By the;way, how paiariy fwerb present tohear theresult ? Seriously, it appears toiriymirid that it would nob be/a pad step to; endeavour .to stir Up i a little opposition between the temperance '-and -pdblican factiOns .at Mount Wellirigton. Faricy the Returning Officer patiently waiting at his post- all dity to rbceive votes, and orily recordirig one ! This/ sorb of thing must tend to ericourage iridolerit habits. There :is one1 other lesson which I must not -fail to point out, for the [good of all persons who have any reSpbct ipr '■ their little ". ism.'',,. -It. is■;. tins': ; don't leave everybody else to do bhe'voting, under the impression that^your voteiis 6n£y a,unit and-does not'count for>much; one is an infinitely greater 'quantity than mbtlii-ig,' a.nd it is often sufficient to turn: the result, j At Mount Wellington, one vote" on the publicans' side would have given & tie. Could the Duke of Wellington come ripOli' the scene ajjairi; it isprobable that if hedid not echo: the wprdsof Burke—•. - The ige of chivalry is j§otie," rite;—he would at least be' prompted to say,; '.'The age//of > bigotry is gorie, and the publican wolf is getting closer to the temperance lamb." ■

*■'# '; # # # * :■ .yy - * * * 1 1 Mr Henry , Lee, one of the Cbri&regartiorial !delegates wlio visited during the past mOnbh,. is'a firie apecinieri of tlie British lridnufricturer.; Although 76 years of age, be is straight as an arrow, with a ; fine vigorous appearance^ which would JpUt tb shairi'e many a much youri'ger mart,* He is a large mill-bwrier iri Lriricasliire; em- ] •ploying something, like lvsoo Operatives, 7 j arid is also a polibiciari, beihg one Of the. -members lit Mafaehester.o /bufihg 'the past weekf thiS gentleman dblivited ari' addressi at the Beresford: - street Congregational Church, and in the course "of- his -remarks said that the Wpiben' wete riot'sriffitiibritly! empl'oydd in church work.- /•■•.The; pastor j of the Ohapel atprice^/iriterriipted :; ''.Thei ■wotrieri' are /bur /best meri." 'Npvy,,/.rfl.dies;. here is some real credit for yOu; Evidently] yori arb far ahead of your English sisters in I working for the Church. Probably those iri /'the; bid cpuritry find so tiiuch to -do in their own houses,,that they/ cariri'ot, devote thfeir time to the good work. But- surely they must have ladies' sewing circles,- otherwise how could the business : :o'f thl: Chiir'ch |?et albrigf ? WB^, there arb churches in -Aucklarid where the efforts of the ladies have resulted fo large additions to the fUhds i while the" nobler' sex simply staiid • aside helpless. The work/ done in • one way and another-by/se wirig' circles will •never'be/lightly estimated. It is noc the ! rhferri/iinaricial results''that are !'tdbe '■• cori--pidered; v There is the sweet c'omriiuriiOn/of ( kindred-spirits,.the.easy-flowirig corivSrsatipnUpOn religious topics'ab these gather ings which'-iriust/tend'td-.th'^mutual eleva--1 tj&ri of the iuiiuls of all coricgrrifed. Of

course, it is always: thkt lridies' sewing,'circles, .like, ■Paradjse, conaiririobhirig impure and unholy, aud-corir sequently notra»,breath: of.,■ scandal is/eyer spoken .by the earnest hard-working ladies who corigregate from jtime'to time to promote the good the Church.

4 ■''■■■ ;: * « **'' ■- *-♦' ,', • .■",.■ *..-', *,:■'■ .„,.*,,. y ~._ It is. true that scoffers say that scandal is' retailed at these circles, and some have had, the unblushing- effrontery to state that/re-" iputations are ruined and.charactersblastcd. at these gatherings of /good .wo!riae/n.;/_But' ■''*, Zarisiel". will never believe that such is, the case, though/to be just, ho must admit' that at timeshe has, heard ■ of strarigb,tales as having been repeated.,at these gather-: i'rigs. He has heard that "sOme .gentle Christian women 'are riot above blackening the characters of outsiders-who do .riot see ".'eye 'to! eye "with them.. ; Bh't-oh j .he can- j hot, no "Zamiel" .cannot,.think, that such could bo the case, so it. must be ascribed .to/ the machinations of. the, $yil,oOno,.,jtyho must of course object to the periodical cpngxegatirig together of so omuch, purity arid goodness. \ 'Zamiel" heard,a funny tale re'cehtly about a "youth who lriadvertoritly, was shut up in .a., cupboard near theropiri iri,;which a sewing circle, ,was sitting.. ,What he heard he.;:wpuld;never »ay, bub since .that time ho. has ,beeri:'*avage]y._at- i tacked by at least brie ■..woman ln^thojcirqle. Now, if all, the c'oriye^sation.owas goodygoody^ of what were they ■niraid.t :■- ;-.,