MARRYING AND GIVING IN MARRIAGE.

Auckland Star, Volume XIX, Issue 218, 15 September 1888, Page 4 (Supplement)

MARRYING AND GIVING IN MARRIAGE.

Some Strange Custom*

We are in the habifc of fancying ourselves prosy, commercial people, but, after all, Shere is more romance and love among the English-speaking race than in all the rest of She world One of the popular errors of the day is to think that we are getting more mercenary, and that the question of money enters more largely into the marriage tract now than formerly with us. .bucn belief is an error, according to lhomas Stevens, writing in the New York 4 Sun, just the same as it is a mistake that the world is growing wickeder instead af better. Both in England and America there are more romantic marriages today in proportion to the population than ever before, although there has of late been a decrease in the proportion ot marriages. In the East marriages are usually arranged and negotiated by go-betweens or mutual friends. In some countries, where would-be brides are plentiful, and the eligible young men are correspondingly scarce, the papa of the girl is expected to enhance her value with a substantial dowry. In other countries, where the proportion of young men and maidens is the reverse, tbe man practically has to Purchase the Bride

before he can lead her to tho alter._ Tins system prevails to a great extent in Bulgaria, where the prospective husband is required to hand over to the biide's father a sum of money varying from a hundred, dollars to several thousand, according to his means. Bulgarians are a thrifty folk, and among the peasantry this money is understood to reimburse the father for the loss of his daughter's services in the fields. She is regarded as a field hand whose labour, i« worth a certain amount; the aspirantforhcrhand pays overthe stipulated sum, and secures at ono stroke a thrifty wife.and a willing farm hand for his _own fields. The sum of nioney the groom is to pay'over to the father at the marriage is agreed upon, and the quantity and quality of the bride's trousseau is duly expatiated upon and set down in the agreement. Sometimes, when the prospective groom is poor, or tho father of the young woman hard-hearted and exacting, theso engagements last for yearp, because of the inability of the young man to procure the stipulated' amount, and the unwillingness of the girl's father to lose her services in the field. After the betrothal, however, tho young couple are permitted to bill and coo within the .;'•• :

Limits ot Eastern Propriety, and if the Fates presume, to use them too harshly they sometimes accomplish their happiness in an elopement. In Turkey everybody marries young, and ;.ne might perhaps be permitted to add, »hose who can afford- it marry often. Such a thing as an old maid is absolutely unknown among tho Turks. They are a marrying race, '.and as a general thing the girl 3 are married off by the time they reach their teens, nnrl often a year or two betore. A Turk may possibly fall in love with his wife after marriace, but it wouldn't be very easy for his affections to antedate this ceremony; for the first time he ever sobs eyes on her face is in the nuptial chamber,after the wedding guests have retired. When a young Turk becomes old enough to marryi then his mother and a few confidential female friends undertake to find him a. wife. In a body they call upon such of their; neighbours as are blessed with marriageable daughters, and state their mission inabusiness-like way. The daughters

are/-':'V: ! -s-.'"'' ■ *'t" ■■ -:■ ; -'■"■■ .^;" ; !■;- -: "; , Trotted Ont tor Inspection, jnuqh aa *how«h they were.- YQW?K coltf -pv calves- offered for sale. The wife-hunters look the daugnUr over critically, question the mothe^;'<ii}d partake ..ot cffffee., Jp,f feW- minutes the daughter that has been inspected retires from the room; It" her appearance has failed to please the visitors, nothing more is said. If, however, they arc-favourably impressed, they linger and enter inkr negotiations for her hand in marriage to the youth in question. The girl's age, health, accomplishnients,; trousseau, and kindred matters are inquired into in the most matter-of-fact way. The mother of the damsel, on her part, inquires quite as minutely into the merits and demerits of the proposed husband. The inspectors depart after mutual well wishes over cigarettes and coffee, promising to call again. Meanwhile the young Turk, who has probably warned his mother, beforehand that she must, pick him out.a beauty, is awaitinp; her return in a speculative mood. «What luck has Allah ordained, O my mother?' he says, as she returns home and seeks him out. ' Aman ! oghlon,' says the fond mother. ' Allah has revealed for you a wife; a. black-eyed houri, lovely as the peris in the garden of Mohammed.' The youth signifies his approval, and the mother proceeds to give him a faithful description ot the maiden whom she and her friends have selected. If the youMi findß nothing objectionable another visit is made, when preliminaries for the marriage are arranged. , (U; ' Turkish wedding festivities last several days, during which gipsy, dancing girls and musicians entertain hosts of women at the home of the girl's parents. ;:

1 . Much Frivolity is indulged in, much cigarette smoking and coffee drinking, swarms of beggars are fed at the door, and many presenßtreceived and given. But all this time the expected young Turk has never set eyes on' his intended. ;. In Persia, as in Turkey, if a husband wishes a divorce from his wife, all he has to do is to order her out of the houae.' Ab a check upon the too free • use of this arbitrary proceeding, however, the Persians h£ve\ constituted a very curious-and ingenious custom. ' While the Mohammedan law makes it so easy for a husband to put awayMs yrife{ it secures, toher all hep 9WB property. " Under no ■ consideration pan the "husband''■deprive- the wife of her own property. As a precaution against divorce, then, the husband in the marriage contract is usually required to promise a considerable sum of money as a wedding gift to bia bride. -This money is not forthcoming at the wedding, nor expected, but it is placed to the wife's credit as a debt owed to her J»y'»the husband. As, .

In Case of Divorce, this money would have to be paid over, t the aniount is usually made so large that it ie virtually" beyond the husband's means. In that case divorce to him would mean financial ruin; and as the Persian's packet is the 'most susceptible part about .him, it follows that there are few divorces. in Persia. ■' ■ ".' ■: ■ .:■..' .' • . ■.;-', Among.the Afghans marriage is a case of purchasing. the bride. A rich Afghan marries early; simply because he can afford to. pay, for a wife, while, a poor man, often remains single until middle age on account of-his inability to purchase. If the husband dies, and the widow wishes to marry again, she or her'friends'have-to refund the purchase money to the friends of the dead husband. A common custom is for the brother of the deceased to marry the widow. No other person would think of wedding her without first asking; his brother's consent. , , In China early marriages are the rule. . The match is arranged by the parents, and is in the nature of a commercial transaotion. The groom is expected, to make prosente of: money and: clothes to the bndo; •Who, however, brings no dowry or anything in return., The calendars are consulted solemnly for lucky days, and the blessings ofthe tutelary gdds sought. by-.yariouß.pro.; p!tiatory measures. If tha Mgnß^feil to tarn out auspiciously, :the' wisddingjs ppsi;; poned again fendftKain..-- The cetemony of m,armg9 consists: in .;drinkin^::ft, cup of aamshoo together in the nuptial chamber.