RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XIX, Issue 177, 28 July 1888, Page 9 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

[!)Y ZaMIF.!,.]

Kotrenchmcnt has reached a high pitch at the Thames. I do not refer to tl.c Harbour Hoard's repudiation move, which is the very reverse of retrenchment, but to a move in the religious world, where ono naturally looks fora nobio example of conformity with tho injuction "O.vo no man anything." St (iuorgo's Church at the Thames is the first to set tho example of making both ends meet. A local paper hail an advertisement calling for tenders from gentlemen willing to undertnko tho duties of "organist, verger, church-cleaner, organblower, collector, &c," in connection with the church. It is not quite clear whether ono person is expected to take all these billots at say £20 a year; but I havo no doubt that applicants will be found tendering for tho whole at a le3s figure than I have named. A cruel suggestion has also Leon made that tenders should ho called for supplying the congregation with two sermons a week, and it is claimed that better production? could be got lit a less cost than [at present, it tho tender system wcro adopted.

I cannot say |thafc I entirely approve of tho latter suggestion. A more excellent way would bo for impocuniou.4 churches to import a pars m from England on a long engagement at Kng'ish rales of remuneration. Protection to nativo industry Uns not yet reached.such a pitch with us as it has . in the -United States, or tlio importing of parsbiis or any other worker.-1, under agreements, would ba impossible. In New York a fow months ago tho Corporation of Holy Trinity Church wore lined a thousand dollars for importing a parson from England, at a stipulated salary. This penalty was imposed in accordance with n law in vogue' in the United States which forbids the importation of labourer.) from outsido countries undei contraetto work for a specified rateot wages. A manufacturer in the States was "also fined some timosincefor importing a number of skilled artizanfl to do a particular kind of work. As our Legislature has taxec1 everything that we use, except parsons would it not bo well to take advantage of tho omission and import a hundred or two of the excellent men who arc pining for cngagcniDii's in England at £~>o a year, to take the place of some men who aro receiving £500 per anumni "Freu trado in parsons" would not bo a bad election cry. I commend it to Mr Withy.

That retrenchment roar from Otnra on Saturday last was quite an event in the history of that part of tho country. The csmvencrof tho meeting was soexcited about i& that, according to his own avowal, he did not have a wink of sleep for three night? previously. Ho was so pressed for time eventually that ho ran ail tho way from Ifaninuro ti Otarn, and when he eventually fapud his follow ratepayers with half-a---dozen carefully prepared resolutions the result of this undue, haste was painfully appavont. Having moved his first resolution, ho spoko in support of it; for five minutes, and thon suddenly discovered fjhat h,o had been rpeaking from notof [irepared for a totally different ro-olution. AVhen he eventually discovered tho right mpmoranda of his speech on tho lirst resolution, it had boon carried, andthecnrefullyprepared facts wcro ruled out of order. Another countryman rolled up to tio meetingl with two candles carefully wrnppod in paper and a. box ot matches. Ho said he know they wcro all agreed about tho retfionchmpnt question, but that there was Hiiro bo.be a row nevertheless and ho wanted to soe it fought out in a fair light. The y.aal and eloquence of the country residents worn, evidently not equal to the making of long speeches, and tho resolutions wore in absoluto danger of b(iint; carried without the cus'omary fprciblo argumonts in their support, when tlio. Financial Reform Association repro sentatives oamc tj the rescue, and the candlo.s came very near being called upon after all. Tho meeting was wonderfully i^panimpus, and evidently prepared to pass anything in the shape of a resolution to obtain what the chairman graphically described as a revolution in the government of the colony.

MXnzarna " demurs to my assertion that the nip.-*t, intelligent police o/Hcers know that tho daily press is one of fclioir best co-adjutors in the detection of crime and tlie arrest of criminals, and he ontora into n long recital of some paltry local case, Uncling fault with the press fcr not reporting all (lie evidence mid the remarks of the judge regarding it. My correspondent must see that what ho has written ha* no bearing whatever upon the proposition which I advanced, and 1 can only con elude that ho is anxious to do a friendly turn to an acquaintance by airing an ex ! parle statement of tho case. His letter ( would bo cjuito out of place in this light ! column, just as would bo that of another correspondent—a lady this time—who writes to parade a grievance against the postmaster in her locality for delaying the delivery of a. letter for n whole calendar day ! Here is a communication which is more in the vein for tnis light column :

" Denr Znmfel" (writes "A Grateful Mother"),—''Thanks for that pathotio story of the timer's tail, i' was reading it !-*.vaj-.f{ir]ii, wJiilo wo were cii fcinjf round tiicr fire, dial it put us all in an elegiac frame of mind, and for soino timo wo remained in a sucl and mute reverie, when my eldest broko the silence by giving expression to her inward thoughts—' How very, very sad ! Toor boast, a victim of misplaced confidence. Whit a .surprise it must havo been to tho poor creature, advancing in a Btrafehtfdrwftrd way, with a guileless and ■in op^n countenance, little dreaming the vecenti >n that cruel native had in store for it 'It really was too-too.' 'And ma, £}«l my second, «what must havo boon ite feelings :iftev boin S tnwfed lik.f tl'^lJ, Htipposo it never was soon to smile again / < How could ib smile,' fell in myyonnzesb, £to beautiful tail wa« ? tick,ng out in front ! How excited ttmrt have felt, poor boaßt ! 1 . w°nuei Iliiii

Some u;-:to, .'i visißhbom-'r) na:iic to !:..;, Some wvitc—vniii lli<iu^lit! fur iicitilfui c.i.-ili Suinc write (o|.;<:-:>c Ihcvounliy i'lbhli An.1, rii-ou.liii. lor mo, nn aim J never fasli — I write for fun. AirMTK.U.IAN f.:duratk.ii, Iniporiiilfwloi-aliun, find tlio fudoiiili.n of Knj;li-1i..--|iuiihin;,' conimiiiutir-H m-u ii.-ually .-i-oiited a.; llnj wild ihvunu of lliecnstc, and qnitu b-Vdii I tlio splinre of prnrsli -nl politic--. Tliohs (iractical and lovcl-hondci! people wlio sit jii tho Duornor'ri cliuir \\ill be mirpi-Ucd lo learn that an iidrsnciutian !i;w aulually b.s; n formed for lliu puipoao of ciin^iiiy out t!ie largest, of the Unco •' fodur:it:on.-j'" n: moil, and Llmt IJuucn \ictuii.i is |eilrmios^ and l'rciidont (Jluvolnnd of lliu United Stales (•no of Ilio vieopro.-idents uf l!:e .-nciely. J draw my i'lifoiumtion fiuiu a no'.vspnpcr nrliclc, and am only sorry that in a mutter of sncii importaneo I cannot (<>uuo the f..et.s to their primary sounc. The Now l!riti.-<li Empire Coinp.iny,liaa, acnordin^totlio i;!i[»pi*i;^ now befoie me, boon fonncl by a. (.':in:r!i.ni .M.1., Mr Henry Wontivort-h Monk, with a capita! of L' 2,000,000, with a view to pure .a-i ,f> |,liv nr.ciuut [,md of C'-iiman, l'esus'eitntin;,,' .lern^.iKin, and maUi'i^ that city tho capital of the earth. Mr Monk claims to have discovered that the iiino is lipo for tlio fulfilment of a prophecy by Isaiali t > the eti'eet that the civilwcd nations of the earth t-liuiild ceaso from wnrfnro and accept ,!omsalom as their capital. Tlin best proof of the correctness of hi-i t icory Mould bo tlio speedy subscribing of tlio requirud "capital," and the acquisition of tho desired " eipital " city ; but although Mr Monk'H t-chomo has been before the fjroat Anglo-Haxon public for Koine months I have not heard of the fhares going oil' like, (for instance) those of tho Kauri Timbar Company. And yet, only think ! For a paltry two millions wo might at one stroke t rid of the Anglo-Ismclite faddists, the Home Uu'e ogitators, and tho Australian patriots who nre continually threatening to "cut the painter !" Then all tho nations of the earth would dwell together i:i peace ; no lLoro war scares, or Boulanyist demonstrations ; nothing but "llulo JJiit.inuia " and " Vankoo Doodlo " for svor Aiul over, while the Lion, the Eagle and tho Vonntr Kangaroo would boss creation. Jee-riis.dem 1

uu ,! ( ;,:!,,\,ith.rvfu! tlwui^t-' you, f i cftl . ' >mi«l." j, # t * "Tlin Mamm»Ui'iftto'« J^'1 ig U|o crittc, cc o l c-,t.ho.ouro'';nv liM , h : ( . h ho derh the live root nniniw-s by >vlii, : l, ho fon.;tfU Hi.) cipherrnirw' ■«; but tho editor r.- V r sliifcti'^" v"",. l)y'" 10l losi":Miat -Mr .naelly should m«.u .1 eoim.ultce of Sliaks ian scholar* flllvl mathem-i----ticians <l explain ,-vi,.,;'" ~ "anUiiiioiiiln-yniiiaat.cs. IHI I'minolly, in this ittcr, niakoj wo assertion that (,1,0 tmces arc 10 tllllll>"« to one turning sixoiils, formingaooimeciod S01) . tcnoc or t-lito of nscntonco, ooam-ring by ttecidoia, insularaiW>»> et!!;u! wquuuee, in any uivotLm; oMtio". «W ;■ l^illon-c to t!io ciHUi' na foUP* 8:-;; Will you i*roi) lo in.it tlio n»"f-y »f tlio biphcr, if I (nnnstrnto U> J 0.1 tlnj.every vv-onl in Hi cipher iiarriitivc h d O . rived fiMiu nHnumhci'? • ' ' ' ■ )r "'i'l' you nssurt Hi ono thonsaml words couhl, by accide. it, co e out-, of the nnmbor74o, on ion |Mj;oa of ho foUo.i wl"°" tllJu*aiul « on!.s i:ohcTu a\limclicftlly. K^'iiuiiuticully, rhotoiioa'ly, a| hi-.toiicftHy:; Juko ono horn of the diTunw'or the other.' This plain oliallcngolr St««! llluls !t convenient lo i^n'or.?! only ''Oi 10 Limb Mr Donnelly will ji tho cnho.-!_ to somo pmtitic.il tc-t. \\i> patioiioc, lnguuiity, and erudition clhi f r him a courtccus hoariiif;; but puilar projudioo may d O . maud a miutyr, rj wo ntnv huvo a new St. hrnal ins a.ldcto tlio calendar if the pious luhico of tl "Sunday Times" is carried out. |

Tho Chinese Imra Wawant habit of executing unfortiina'dcMOis who cannot, pay twenty shiliitin-ntliopouiul, and the Oiii'jial AscigncQ ut|uncclin must have had (his practice A lik mind's eye on Friday last, wli, after a debtor

had been examined cross - examined, md ci'o.«aly-e.xamind%Jlo said to thu

dozen creditors pre.w " \\ ell, yentlinen, what am I to do witliis unfortunate bankrupt:' Jiang hill"' One creditor replied laughingly, '*X, hang him " ; but a good Samaritannoug the twclvo

.said " No, let's gut i a subscription for him." This caus\ a good deal of laughter, but the wlitor said ho meant'it, and would stM-he subscription with his dividend. Another laugh caused tho assignee to.saji1 There's often gome fun in creditor's ratings; which reminds one of Byron's rdavk L.baat gon-dola-s—' They sometimes ontain a deal of fun, like mourning bacho3 when the funeral's done.'" The »p=hut of this

marry meeting was that tho creditors uuanimously recommended the bankrupt for discharge, and subscriber! live shillings each for hie bcnolift, 1$ Auckland, tho creditors, instead of indulging in strifo and

personalities!, wight do well to copy iho example of those jolly Dunedinitoa.

The Very Rev. Father Hactott has liad

his soul stirred because a Rontin Catholic of Auckland has tinned iVecimson aiid is endeavouring to pcrsuado othtr Catholics to folloiv liis example. Thoroftro, Father Hackett launched forth on Simmy evening last, at St, Patrick's Cathedral, n a violent

attack on tho Musouio Otdar and all its works. "Zamiel," being noithora Catholic nor a Freemason, can afford to "look" nnd laugh at a' that ; " and in wliat lie ha 3 to say cannot be accused of partisanship. According to Father Hackttt, Freemasonry is Freothought, if not Antichrist," fur he

asserts that ''in all their articles tits uamo of Je.-:us Christ never ones o-eiirs,"and lie quotas numerous passages from'-vritcrs on ll'rcemasonvy which go to show t'lit its basis is purely human and rational. But

surely tho Father is avyavg that the fundamental dootrino of Freemasonry is tho oxistenco of a Supremo Beincj, and that the Grand Orient of Paris wn.s excommunicated for having expunged "God" from it ritual. Has he not been long enough in Auckland to remember'that when Bowie, he Faith Healer, made similar accusations ■igainsfc Freemasonry, it wjk conclusively .shown by a local Ma3on tlint at least one prayer used by the Order contained the name of the Saviour ? Anil surely he is not 40 verdant a3 to believe, on the authority of tor-sworn renegades, that Freemasons take such a frightful oath as this:—"lf I violate my obligation. ... I allow my tongue to be torn away, my heart to be dragged out, my body to bo burned, reduced" to ishes, and flung to the winds, so that no memory of me remain among men."

Again, Father Hackott riftora tho noblo sentiment " Secrecy is the hiding-plaeo of moral evil," and founds thereon an argument against tho Masonic order. Now, tho Church _ ought to be very wary about identifying secret conclaves with moral ■;vil. In my opinion, tho Masonic secret is a pieco of childish superfluity— \ straw to ticklo tho simple - minded ; but_ as for there being any moral evil in it—Bah ! Then, who believes with good Father llackot,t that "men who had left the Masonic Order and had joined the Catholic Church were marked men ; tney : were followed everywhere— not certainly to be murdered, but to bo kept out of any position under Masonic control. Ho know Masons who had entered tho Church, nnd who were hunted men." Of a pieco with :this assertion is tho statement that tho Freemasons of Franco have leagued to accomplish the downfall of General Boulangor. It is stated that the French Freemasons have ruined tho career of aiitiy politicians ■ —all of which is the most p^found rubbish, for the Freemasons take no.JJart whatever, as a body, In politics, anymore than they issassinate or starve men who have turned their backs on " brethren of tho m.ystic tic." It is instructive to note that some people identify Boulanger with the Boast of prophecy, while others identify the Romish Church with tho tamo objectionable animal, and it is a envious coincidence to find Fioomasonry credited with being opposed to both. If tho ititorpretvivs ofL prophecy are ; right,, the Freoimuous ace ",o:i the side of j the angsls." Bat, in that e'aso, where ia ; Father Hackott ': As ho cannot by any I possibility bo on the other sido, the inter- \ prefers oi' prophecy must bo astray. j