LIFE IN VIENNA.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 43, 20 February 1886, Page 4

LIFE IN VIENNA.

THE CONTENTED AUSTRIAN AND THE HAPPY I.IFE H_i L-ADS.

Polloe Annoyances-A Country Where a Man Cant Whlfltle-A Vienna Character ond How Ho Enjoys Himself;

Vienna, Deo. 3.—lf I wore only a man blessed with clear judgment ond the characteristic capacity of the lords of creation to draw logical deductions from givon promises, what intensely interesting letters I might write about tho comparative merit and effect of the free institutions of our young republic and the paternal government of this aged empire. But I have been told too often that logic is not of the female gender, and that woman's argument is based exclusively upon woman's emotions, to attempt a criticism of Austrian statecraft and of the labyrinthian ramifications of polico institutions. I have heard of Magna Charta and Habeas Corpus, and of the Bill of Eights, and heard, moreover, quite enough about those palladiums of liberty to cherish a deep-seated reverence for them all, albeit female rights aro not particularly mentionod in any one of theso enactments. Pow Australians, I think, are familiar with these bulwarks of human progress; thoy know little and care less about them, They seem to be serenely happy and contented under the police supervision, and graoefully submit to all sorts of petty oftenceß. It tbey shake a dust-rag out of a fourth-story window after 10 o'clock in the morning, or forget to report their change of domicile to police head quarters within twenty-four hours, or light a cigar in the corridor of a theatre, or look askance at a policeman, or carry their canes and umbrellas at right angles instead of perpendicularly, or unmuzzle thoir dogs boforo tho timo fixed by tbe council's decree, they oxpoct to be fined and in aomo coses to bei imprisoned. Thoir ideas of slander end libel are peculiar. Tho truth is no defence. Criticism, however well founded, it it contains what jurists hero term an insult, is punishable by fine and imprisonment. But afewdays Bince Ihe papers published thecaso ofapoorseamßtreßß,whodesertedbyherlover, nn officer of the imperial, army, addressed a letter to the scoudrel's regimental superior asking for redress and support. Although tho officer was forced to leave tho service his victim was prosecuted for the insult which her lotter was said to contain nnd sentencod to several weeks' imprisonment. But the poor girl was saved the di.grace; She wrote a letter of farewell to her parents and disappeared. The Danube probably hides her and her misfortunes for ever. NO WHISTLING ALLOWED. Another illustration, somewhat less tragic, but quite as characteristic of Aus • trian police laws, is published in the court reports contained in this morning's paper. The Vionneso cannot even whistle when they feel inclined. Recently a new opera, composed by a Bohemian, was performed at the Imperial Royal Opera House, in Vienna The race hatred between tha German and Bohemian elements of this heterogeneous nation wob at onco called into play. Tho studonts became the exponents of this profound and bitter animosity. The Czechs were bent on tendering tho composer an enthusiastic ovation; the Germans on bringing about a complete failure of this operatic, Czechian venture. And so it happened that, while tho Czechs split their gloves in approbation, and their throats in screaming " bravo," tho Germans whistled andjhissea in loud and stoimy disapproval. The whistlers have now been sentenced to fifteen florins flno or threo days' imprisonment. How would this suit our American

youth? But if tho Viennese does not enjoy " personal liberty " in an American aense, 1 he certainly enjoys " personal security "as to life and limb to on extent unknown in : tho larger American cities. The rowdy is an unknown ovil here. Hans Breitman, who uoplorod tho brutal interference of ' Amorican rowdies with German-American picnics so ludicrously and pathetically, would revel in tho absolute safety secured at nil places publio ond private, in the city proper as in the suburbs, i Tho nearest approach to our American 1 rowdy is tho " Manceuvro Schaney." This i BhiftloSß, ragged specimen of humanity is i tho bane of the life of all military men, and i eourco of unutterable annoyance to tho . community ot large. He livos as free and f unfettered a life as our American tramp. r For him the countless petty rules and reguf lotions which enslave the law-abiding citizen 3 do not exist. Ho never has dono and never t intends to do a stroke of work. He lives on 1 the slendor oarnings of biß hard-working b parents, or in case these are already in tho 3 land whero the "weary ore at rest," ho 1 picks up scraps here and there. Being no c gourmand, ho does not a»k for choice bita ; 1 if he is only allowed to follow tho bent of b his ruling passion ho is content. This does s not consist in rojjular military service, as i* tho appellation " Manoeuvre "or " Military i Schaney " might seem to imply. Schaney a loves tho sound of tho regimental drum, tho f clash of arms and the gay coloured uniform, - but far bo it from him to bear these glittors ing chains of slavery. He conteato himself i with following with a critic's .eye ovory 3 movement of the bearers of tbe king's cloth, i- and devotos his entire life to this noble coll--1 ing. A busy man is "Military Schaney." I Ho feels euro that no relief of guard, no military drill, no grand manoeuvre, could possibly take place without his august presence. Ho is, therefore, up bright and " early, for the Austrian Emperor begins his ' review of troops while we less distinguished " and less tormented mortals are still wrapped r in pleasant slumbers. Schaney frequently ' walks to the aoene of the manceuvro on tho 5 preceding evening, and sleeps the sleep of 1 fatigue and innocence under the atorry 1 heavens until the sound of drum and the ' tramp of horses' hoofs warn him that his \ presence is required.

A LABO-R OF LOVE. His toilet, only consisting of rubbing his eyes and stretching his limbs, is quickly completed, and he begins his arduous task. Ho watches overy movement of the muchenduring soldier, while he is jerked about and drilled by the merciless officers. The manceuvro being more or less satisfactorily accomplished, the line of march is formed and the Scharieys, bringing up the rear and filling up overy inch of ground on either flank, return to the city, amid animated discussious about tho military achievements of the morning. On their arrival in tho cltv they look about for a convenient corner whore'they can enjoy a nap, from which nothing save their' martial duties oan rouse them. These duties are, however, numerous. There is tbe relief ot guard at the entrance of the castlo, the various detachments of regiments which occasionally march from the drill grounds to the barracks, and countlesß other occasions at which Schaney . presence is indispensable I have often seen the traffic stopped on some of the principal business streets of Vienna by whole troops of theso vagabonds, who woro accompanying twonty*hve or fifty soldiers. , , ~,.'

Schaney would not think.of subjecting himself to tho work and deprivations which tho regular soldier endures, but even if ho did bis ambition would never be gratified, because by the time he reaches the proper age for military service his health is so completely broken down that he is invariably rejected. If poor and worn out "Manceuvro Schaney" could only have the benefit of a few of Professor Jaeger's anthropin pills, his ,'health and vigour might bo effectually re-established. Professor Jaegar has just delivered a lecture here, in which ho explained to the assembled prominent chemists and physicians of Vienna the nature and effect of his pills. Though you have doubtless heard of the Profosßor, tho details of his theory are probably now to you. Th's is what ho, says: He takes the hair of a man, who is beyond a doubt a thoroughly healthy specimen as to one particular part of his physical organisation; lungs and throat, for instance, Thia hair he rubs down with milk, sugar, and subsequently condenses the decoction, after taking out the hair, into the form of pills. These pills, he claims, will cure any invalid whose lungs and throat are affected He asserts, in answer to the inquiries of the chemists with reference to the ingredients contained in his pills, that they consist of the identical human odor which enables the dog to follow his master, or recognise by his sonso of smell the articles which he has touched. The man by whom this wonderful drug is prepared is the same Professor Jaeger who insists that woollen socks which have a separate compartment for each toe are essential to perfect health. Verily the progress of science iB miraculous.