Telegraph Absurdities

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 265, 14 November 1885, Page 4

Telegraph Absurdities

The following are a few of many liin.:v.. o >. na actually rocoived:—" A baby carriage was stolon this afternoon by an unknown man, with black leathor top and painted red, from the front yard of the residence of Mr—" "James Ward hurt his tut by having it coitght between the bot and the slage,~at lsew Ferry this morning." The bad spoiling eotne'vliat disgusted the oporutor, who replied, "Whomadothe abbreviations?" This meseago was answered in about liulf an hour lator by "Sent to the forty house, and was told that Mr Abbreviation was not in." "Charles , of No. — .Great Homer-street, fell in Cattlu-stroet tlits p.m., and roceived a scalp wound on his boad." " Sure it was not on his foot?' asked tho operator of tho sondor. "Patrick fell this a.m. from tho second etorey wiqdow of hid residence. Ho struck the pavomont with his head and received a severe sprain to his ankle." " Patrick is a noble follow. Well done, Patrick," replied tho operator. "A dead kat lays in front of No. —->, Oxford-street Please see that it movos at once." In a case like this the operator sends back word that he has sent -•'.vord to tho sausage factory. "A bay whito horsa with spots on tho black hair strayed way from tho stable of Mr this afternoon." Shortly thereafter another message in relation to tho horse was received as follows :— " That horse ifi not a whito biy horso —it is a mare " " William shot and fatally wounded hiswifeduring a quarrel at their residence. Tho wound is fatal, ijho will probably dio." "Shouldn't bo surprised if sho would, as she is fatally wounded," replied the operator. "Philip ,of —street, Bangor, was arrested this afternoon by an officer for carrying a dead deer through tho streets in a bag which had died and intended toaell it formeat." " Tho dead body of a drowned man was found this morning at tho foot of London Road." '•John — diod last night at his reeidonco, without tho care of a doctor." Very many oWier queer ttoi'tea are to bu told of tho telegraph department, but thotiu related above, ntaide being true, sire common occurrence* almost very day.