Little Wit.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 193, 22 August 1885, Page 5

Little Wit.

The smull boy learning the alphabet is liUo a po-tago stamp; ho gets stuck on the letters.

" Woll my young gontloman, how would you liko to have your haircut?" "Oh. like papa's, please, with a littlo round holo on tho top."

Poucon—" Boys !boys ! you shouldn't play marbles today. Sunday's a day of rojt, you

know." Spokesman —" Yes, fir, wo knows it, but we ain't tired, sir."

Pretty Teacher —

"Now, Johnny A\rclla,

can you tell mo what is meant by a miracle?" Johnny—" Yos, tcachor ; mother says if ;-'ou don't marry tho now parson 'twill bo a miracle !"

" Grandma," said a young scapograco, "do old peoplo live very long?' " Somotimes," said the stern old lady. "Do you think you will live to bo very old ?" persisted the hopeful. " I hopo," said tho old lady, woarily, " that I shall livo long enough to see you grow up to bo a well behaved young man."

Littlo fivo year-old h.id boon watching tho raising of a Hag. Toward evening, ;u< ho looked at tho sun, ho said : "How does tho sun cot, anyhow, grandma?' "When you arc older you will understand;" was tho reply. "Oh, I know," said tho irrepressible, after a momont'a pauso ; " God pulls tho string and tho sun goes down."

"Minnie, how do you manage to toar your clothes co badly? Why don't you try to be moro direful"' You keop mo mending all the time." "I do try to, mamma, but boforo 1 know it they are toared again." " Look at littlo Grace Sims. Now, why can't you be liko hor? Sho nover tojirs hor clothes at ill," " W«ll,mamma,it ain't any wonder she don't." "Why?'' " Sho don't havo hu'f at much fun aa I do."

Slid Bobby to tho minister at dinner: " (.'.'ui a church whistle V" "Why do you isk?' "Cos pa owes back pow rout, and he eny* ho's coing to let the church whistlo for if.'"

" My son," said a father, gravely, handing tho youth some monoy, "do you know why a£l is like a carrier pigeon ?" "Certainly, father," replied tho youth, pocketing the money ; "it Ilics so fust after it is once broken.'1

"Johnny, it would be a good thing for you to remember in lifo that wo novor get anything in thii world if wo don't ask for it." " Yes, wo do, pn," answered Johnny, promptly; " I got a licking in school today, nnd you can bet I didn't afk for it."

"Johnny, what wore you saying to that dog?'1 asked a mother of her little son, "I was just talking to him. I told him, ''You havo a good timo of it. You don't have to wash your face or comb your hair, and you don't even havo to go to school.' "

Teacher—So you can't do a pimple sum in arithmetic. Now, let mo explain it to you. Suppose eight of you havo togothcr 48 apples, .S'2 peaches, and Hi molonp, what will each one of you got? " Cholercr morgun!" replied Johnny Fizzloi;op, who is addicted to that malady.