TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 4525, 29 November 1884, Page 2

TABLE TALK.

Thk Stab will be issued for tho first time from the new offices on Monday. Wheels are mode of buffalo hides in America.

The Hon. Mr Swainson is soriously ill. "Throw physic to the dogs." What's the good ? They won't tako it. Every thirteenth person you meet in New Zealand is a Wesleyan. Emperor William is so feeble that his early demise is looked for at Berlin.

"In union there is strength," as the man said when he mixed lard with tho butter.

Tho now Presbyterian Church at Surrey Hills will be opened almost froe of debt. A champion mare was sold the other day at Dunedin for 122J guineas, Forty thousand men earn their living in London by soiling sandwiches.

Government coutcmplato considerable telographic extension in tho North Island. Why cannot a musical composer do much with ono piece of music ? Because ho must write by tho scoro. Glass is gradually beginning to take the place of wood and iron in the construction of bridges in England. " It's swarm weather," remarked the man who was endeavouring to get away from tho inhabitants of a beehive.

Tho Queen's sailor-boy grandsons, Albert Victor and George, have writton a book ontitlod" Tho Cruise of H.M.S. Bacchante."

Tho second deposit of £25 in connection with the sculling match between Hearn and Harrington was paid to-day.

A burglar got into the house of a lawyer the other day. After a terrible struggle the lawyer succeeded in robbing him. Sir Julius Vogol was at Wellington racoa yesterday. Tho Board of Education have reinstated Mr McArthur in the Training College, The indulgont fathor spares tho rod and lots his eon go fishing. Fourteen Wosleyan ministers from Australia are coming to Auckland. M. do Harven was ffited at tho Wellington Club last night.

"The Ship on Fire " at tho Opera House to-night. Twelve buckets of tho big dredge have already been recovered from the Otago bar, and the others havo beep hooked on to, and will be dragged into smooth water.

The Sqlvatian Army in India has not only adopted the native costumes, but the Bombay Guardian announces that Major Tucker " has attained to barofootedness."

A meeting of tho Lord's Day Observance Society, held at Melbourne, had a disorderly termination. Mr Joseph Symos, secularist lecturer, attempted to address the meeting, and a scene of great confusion ensued.

"Do you believo in spirits, Mrs McGinnigle ?" " I do, ma'am. Whin the weather is cowld a little drop does mo a power o' good." The Promier is expected to give an address at Dunedin shortly, stating the Government intentions with regard to local government and taxation. Miss Hu King Eng, a Chinese girl, eighteen years old, hue, been admitted, to tho Wesleyan University at Delaware, Ohio.

A correspondent gives the fqllowing in response to th.c lines which appeared In this column a few day» ago i—

" I'm Blod my girl will share my lot. And there'll a building; on It, The pigs—what odds—we'll turn them out, And merry be upon it."

j A site for Church of England ecclesiastical buildings has been presented by Mr C. Paice, of Mount Roskill Road, and no doubt a church will soon be built it that rising locality.

"Itseems tome," moaned Algernon in Ponsonby yesternight, as he " skooted " toward the front ;gate with the old man close behind him, " that thero are more than three feet in a yard." In the case of creditors* trustee of Aiakatera to We've y. Walker and othovs the appeal was dismissed with costs. The Court afterwards adjourned.

" You are out out for a teacher." " Ah, you flatter me." "No, Ido not." "And why, pray i" " Because you have a pupil in your eye." An old local preacher, who is opposed to an educated ministry, sayg :—"Blvery man who is gojng to preafch, thinks, he roust he off to.' some college and study a lot of Greek and Latin. All nonsense! All wrong! What did Peter and Paul know about Greek? Why, not a word, my brethren ; no ! Peter and Paul preached the plain old English, and soU I,'1'

In the Argentine and Uruguay Republics of South America are 04,000,000 sheep, which produced last year 274,550,000 pounds of wool—an average of 2.92 pounds per head. Of this, the United States took 13,300 bales, the remainder going to England and the continent of Europe. : A Christy Minstrel bard thus burste intg song in praise of the fmr 635 i — ' •!ohj what dpar little h)Dnor.cent'thinga thoy harl Thoy'rp hangpla without any wmgs, they har I Qh | mylovo jasa 'at, i could ki«s all the lot,

The dear little hinnercent tilings I"

The rapprochement between tlie pulpit and stage is besoming very close, In Paris recently the enrfi of St. ftoohe invited tho company of the Oomo'die Prangaise to attend a solemn service in commemoration of the 200 th anniversary of the death of Corneille.

j Can any one doubt that Boston is entitled tobeoalled "The hub of the universe?" It is the first place in the worldj a,c,corr[:-'g to report, where the usually |, ro f anQ parrot has b«§ii ■.t»»£ut to repeat the Lord's irayer'. Coiil being scarcp on the island of Reunic«ii o i<V?f4 paper currency is used. The British 'Consul advises that ship captains about to sail for Reunion should draw up their charter parties in such, a manner as tH, Insure their freights be^ng paid in, gold only.

While the circulation of newspapers throughout the world aggregates tho enormous number of 10,000,000,000, it only averages six and a-half copies per year to each inhabitant of the globe. This is assuming that only one paper goes to each purchaser, but since it is no uncommon thing for one man to buy several, the proportion of those who never buy one is greatly increased. Barber-ous loquacity forms th^ thpmji of many a light satire. Here Is one of the latest!t-

■ Lather me lightly, and speak to mo low! 'TtuStTne, barber, the time is near When barbers may talk from oar to oar And bo one hear I i father me l|ghtly and pp§Rk tamo law I

: irttofHi me lightly and speak to me low! I Oh, jnterrogatlve harbor mine, Your olose warm breath Is strong like wine—

(Lather mo here— Here In the other «re)—apeak tame low!