RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXIV, Issue 4310, 15 March 1884, Page 1 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

[By Zamikl.]

Sonic write, ft ncightiour'H name to lash. Some write—vuln thought!—for needful cash. Some write to please tho country clash.

Ajkl raise a din. For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

Female tobacconists and the evil influences exercised on the morals of the community by tho cigar divans over which they preside formed the subject of some ' severe remarks under this heading several weeks ago. It might have been thought by some whose acquaintance with the subject was not of a very extensive character that the strictures were unduly severe, but the glaring proportions which the evil is now assuming will satisfy most people that the articlo in question was fully justified. It is a disgrace to the authorities that these hotbeds of vice are suffered to continue in existence, and in the interests of morality it is to be hoped that the r.ext session of the General Assembly will see the introduction of a moasure that will place them under quite as rigorous restraint as hotels are now subjected to. Within the last few days, an occurrence of a most painful character has served to justify all that I have ."aid, and at the same time affords conclusive evidence that the worst licensed ilrinking-snloon in the city is a paradise when compared with the average low-class cigar divan. The circumstances are these. A gentleman occupying a high public position arrived here from the South several weeks ago, and in the course of his peregrinations, chanced upon a cigar shop conducted by an enterprising female whose name is not unknown in the community. Possessed of plenty of cash and unlimited credit, hj was looked upon as fair game, and the usual programme was followed to a letter. The stranger became enamoured of the proprietress, spent most of his time in her saloon, and is reported to have wasted a considerable sum of money in making tho champagne flow freely. His remarkable conduct reached the earn of his friends, and, assisted by the police, it is said that they made repeated efforts to get him away from the trap into which ho had fallen. In this they had not succeeded at the time of writing. The whole circumstances of the affair are of a most distressing character, but further details are suppressed for the present for obvious reasons. Similar conduct on the part of a hotelkeeper would inevitably result in the forfeiture of his license, but it would appear that female tobacconists can afford to work the "snare business' with impunity. XXX There appears to exist a wonderful variety of opinion as to the best method of capturing a runaway horse, and when one of these animals commences to run a muck through town the excited condition of many people is most amusing to witness. There has been nn unusual number of runaways recently, and, strange to say, in the last two instances the frightened steeds finally were brought up on the Queen-street Wharf. One which had left the battered remains of a buggy at Pnrnell was only captured at the end of the pier, but the other did not get so far. He was observed suddenly to come down Queen-street at a hard gallop. A rope was tied around his neck, and trailed some distance behind. Everybody seemed to think that everybody elso was a fool for not catching hold of it, and the suggestions made wero numerous as the animal rushed past the large stores on tho wharf, and Constable Luke Macdonald appeared on the scene. Then everybody appeared to at once assume that he was the proper man to lay hold of the rope and stop the mad career of tho horse, and undoubtedly if anybody could have accomplished the task he was the man. " Tut your foot on the rope, Mac," the onlookers cried, almost in chorus, but the guardian of the peace no doubt speedily conjured up a vision of a singularly heavy fall and a few weeks' illness. He resolved to politely decline, and gave due intimation of the fact. In much less time than it takes to tell the story, tho runaway approached the tollhouse. Mr Edward Itussell caw its approach, and seeing nob»dy about Creparcd to " pay toll" for tho animal, he oldly rushed from tho oilioe and put his fool firmly on the rope. In another moment he lay flat upon his back in the mud, and then the ropo having become twisted around his legs ho was dragged for come distance through the mire, until the twist suddenly became untwisted and he was free. Bnfc such a plight. Sore all over, and clothes besmeared with mud, he retired to secure a change of clothing, firmly resolved to permit other peoplo to perform such deeds of bravery in tho future. To conclude, I may observe that tho runaway was afterwards caught, without having done further damage, and duly restored to his owner. XX X At several of our suburban churches, notably at All Saints', St. Mary's, and Northcote, thanksgiving services have been held for tho genial ingathering of the harvest blessings, and tho said churches were prettily and appropriately adorned with fruits and flowers. I think that no reasonable person can object to theso grateful servicos. Something of tho kind has boeu offered for Heaven's seasonable gifts from the ages preceding the dawn of Christianity, even from' the days when intellectual Greece flourished in her festal prime. In days gone by our British forefathers spread tho harvest home feast, and at tho well-spread tables sat the husband and his family, surrounded by the peasantry, without re^urd to social position. All wore equal and brotherly at the ingathering of the fruits of the earth; but times are now slightly changed from what they were in tho days of George tho Third. An English poet has reviewed a harvest feast with its pleasant associations, when " Onco a year Distinction lowered its orost, The master, servant, and the merry guest Were equal all." And he proceeds to lament the change which lias tended so much to separate employers and employe's. There is a useful and much-needed element in harvest-homo services which was not an ingredient in the harvest home of earlier days. They aid the funds of. tho churches, for who would be co mean iat a beautiful thanksgiving service as not give a thankoffering? It-is proverbially known that ouc churches aro all so much in debt that " church" and 41 debt" have almost come to bo regarded as synonymous terms, and all sorts of schemes within"the limits of respectability are resorted to in order to meet accumulating

liabilities—bazaars, concerts, lectures, and lady-helps. This is not as it should be, but it is true nevertheless. The hotels gt-t the pounds, and the church the threepenny pieces. xxx I have received a communication from the American city of Norwich, in the state of Connecticut, in which 1 am informed that tho Indians of the Mohican tribe — some of thorn, at least, who have been converted to Christianity—have built a little church, in which they held a harvestmoon festival. The scene was interesting, and, in a pecuniary light, was successful, as the proceeds completely cleared off the debt upon their simple house of prayer. Tho warriors of the tribe went into the neighbouring woods, cut branches from the birch tress, and piled them in fantastic shapes in front of the church. The branches were twisted into plaits, and laid as a roof upon posts, which were fixed crosswise, forming an avenue 500 feet in length, intersected with flowers, leading to the church porch. During the musical rejoicings, a tall, sturdy Indian warrior stood at the entrance to the temporary portico, and demanded an entrance fee of 15 cents from every person who felt disposed to listen to the harvest rejoicings. The scene was like a fair, and far more remunerative than " ye oulfl English Fayre'' held several years ago at the North Shore, and which, under in competent hands, proved a disastrous failure. These half-civilised Indians managed tilings better. My fiiend9 tell me that in the open space near the church, the young Indians played at bass-ball, while inside the vestibule were tables covered with sweets (lollies), cakes, toys, and Indian biir-a-l,,ttr, while on other tables were refreshment,-!, simple beverages, and garden delicacies, an Indian girl presiding at each table, and every visitor considers the purchasing of an article a sacied duty. The Indians have their annual harvest-moon festival, and the receipts are always sufficient to defray the expenses of tho Church for the current year. Auckland people who lament outstanding church liabilities might take a hint from the poor Indian, Whose untutored mind Sees God In clouds, and hears Him in the wind. < X X Innumerable paragraphs in the papers have been devoted to scathing and trenchant criticismsand denunciations of theobjecticnablo qualities of "the champion mean man." He is generally supposed to exist in every community, and, poor fellow, he is always being found out. But while we are so rough on the mean man, it is strange that we hear nothing of female representatives of this species. The "champion mean woman" would be avariety,and knowingthat variety is alwayscharming, I have no hesitation in relating an incident which proves at once that there is such a thing as a champion moon woman, and that Auckland can hoast of possessing her. She is the daughter of one of our wealthy nabobs, and it may bo reasonably supposed that her pocket allowance has numbered more pounds than the average Auckland girl has of pence. Change of air come time ago became so ncces - sary to this pampered daughter of luxury that a sea voyage was determined upon, and passago was taken by a steamer which was to leave the wharf on a certain day which shall bo nameless. The lady drove to the wharf with her luggage, but when the vehicle reached the toll-house, one shilling tax was demanded. Resolving to avoid such extravagance, she announced her intention of leaving the carriage above tho toll-house and walking down to the steamer on foot. But a difficulty arose. The trunk containing her belongings must be transported to the vessel's side, but how ? With a brazen effrontery which did her infinite credit, the lady appealed to a policeman standing by to make a camel of himself and hump her luggage down to the steamer.but ho politely declined. She then ordered the coachman to leave hie vehicle, and carry the trunk down on his back, and this was actually done, the driver groaning under the infliction of something like a hundredweight of luggage on a warm day, while his mistress followed him along the pier happy in the consciousness that she had saved a shilling. If ever there is a " champion mean woman " competition, I shall be prepared to back that maiden for first place. XXX Intending bankrupts would do well to be careful that they have at least one shot in the locker before, they decide upon indulgence in the whitewashing process. Mr Justice Gillies has determined that no longer shall creditors hear the terrible words : liabilities, three or four figures; assets, nil. On the contrary, the enterprising bankrupt will have to commence operations with more than his lawyer's fee ; he will also require to borrow or purchase on credit sufficient of the world's goods to make a respectable show under the heading of ossete before he can got his discharge. The learned Judge finds that the Act was only framed for the purpose of distributing estates, and while " no assets men " who have managed to get through before this change of policy came into operation may bless their stars that they wero not nipped, it behoves those who contemplate taking advantage of the Act to see that their business transactions are sufficiently extensive to leave something for the Court to distribute, or their chance of release with a " clean sheet " is a remote one. x x x It is no doubt the peculiar lot of reformers, innovators, and friends of humanity in general, to have their schemes ridiculed, their motives questioned, and themselves assailed with all manner of obloquy. They have to fight against the opposition of those interested in the maintenance of " use and wont," they have to contend with the prejudices of the ignorant, and bear with tho spiteful remarks of jealous rivals. But a harder fate than usual would seem to have befallen Mr Samuel Vaile, the New Zealand railway "reformer," whose plain but perfect plans for making our railways at once serviceable and remunerative have been, with great power of reiteration, laid before the public of the colony. It ie neither prejudice, ignorance, por self-interest that is arrayed against him; ridicule, reasoning, and carping fault-finding, he has not to fear ; but facli: are somehow against him, and in the words of the bard of Caledonia— " Facts are chlelds that winna ding. And downa be disputed." Over and over again has Mr Vaile assured the newspaper-reading public that the only sure way to make our railways pay was to reduce tho goods rates and passenger fares, and thus induce people to shift themselves and their baggage about the colony. Well, for the last three ot four years the Public Works Department has been trying the experiment of re-

, ducing goods rates, and the result lias I been a .serious falling-off in the receipts. I Last year, great reductions were made in the charge for carrying grain over the Southern railways ; but this policy, instead of doubling the receipts, as it should have done according to the "reformer's " theory, had the opposite effect, and the perverse logic of facts showed a debit of £30,000 or so. Of course, these reductions were not made in the vain hope that they would result in a big addition to the Exchequer, for the heads of the Department know very well that they could not get more than the total produce of grain to carry although thoy conveyed it gratis, justas they know that they cannot create a passenger traffic when the passengers are not there. They probably thought, however, that the minimum payable rate of carriage had not been reached ; but if so, the experiment has amply proved that they were mistaken, XXX And so tho " new broom " of the Public Works Department, the Hon. E. Mitchelson, is making "sweeping" reforms in the matter of railway tariffs. He is trying to bring up the Southern grain rates to what they were prior to tho last ruinous reduction ; he has introduced an enhanced rate of general goods tariffs,; and horribile tlklii, he has resolved on raising passenger fares by about ten per cent. Not only this; "worse remains behind." Tho increase of passenger fares is to apply only beyond a ten-mile radius from each of the leading cities of the colony—in other words, the sensible plan is to be pursued of encouraging travelling in the centres of population, and of milking country sections of the lines as nearly self-supporting as possible. But all this, which is the inevitable result of following the teachings of experience, is totally opposed to the theories and aspirations of Mr Vaile. The country settler is that gentleman's peculiar care, and the plan of cheapening the fares to increase the receipts is his pet theory. It remains to be seen whether the anticipated increase of £lf>o,ooo will follow upon the raising of goods and passenger rates now to be introduced, but no one doubts that the effect will be in that direction. Already it has been proved that lowering the ratesdecreasesthe revenue, and it is almost a necessary corollary that raising the rates will increase the revenue. How very shocking all this must be to the soul of the earnest reformer ! How he must deplore having wasted good time and precious breath in expounding his plan to the Premier when that gentleman was in Auckland some months ago ! And yet he thought that he had favourably impressed the gallant Major, and had hopes of his scheme getting a year's trial on a section of railway; but now In pity let mo draw a Vail ; over his emotions ! xxx After three weeks' parturition, Mr William Cooper has brought forth a pamphlet, a copy of which he has considerately sent me. I should be very well contented to leave the discussion in its present shape, but that certain of his statements, if allowed to pass unchallenged, would create a false impression. Though it is with reluctance therefore that I notice further the vagaries of this apostle of the religion of self-conceit, he must not be allowed to escape under cover of vague general charges of misquotation and perversion, which he nowhere attempts to substantiate. He opens his reply with a statement that is absolutely and unequivocally false. Alluding to my la«t-issued notes on this subject, lie saj's that during tho week preceding their publication I "circulated most terrifying rumours of a fearful bombardment of Random Shots in tho next Supplement." I challenge Mr Cooper to name one individual to whom these imaginary rumours were communicated by me, or stand convicted of having forged us well as circulated the untruth. Except the persons who in a business way are necessarily made acquainted with the authorship of these notes, no one is in a position to identify the writer, and I have too much faith in the honour of those gentlemen to believe that any one of them would commit a gross bleach of journalistic confidence, mtich less concoct for Mr Cooper's delectation a childish and contemptible lie, the very utterance of which is sufficient to ensure its refutation. I am not unwilling to admit the possibility that Mr Cooper may have been led into the statement by giving undue heed to the banter of some person who knew as much of " Zamiel " personally as he does himself. Despite his tedious repetition of tho thrashed-out joke about the identity of " Zamiel" with the devil, turning apparently upon tho fact that " Zamiel " is the name of the demoniacal marksmen of " Der Freischutz," I still prefer to think my opponent is lacking in penetration rather than in veracity. Xxx But to resume an examination of this rejoinder, which the writer regards with so much complacency that he has deemed it worthy of a permanent cover. His opinion of Ingersoll, advanced with such boundless confidence a month ago, has been considerably shaken. He now confesses, though with a very bad grace, that if the facts advanced in the answer to his challenge are true—and ho admits one portion of them, and acknowledges that ho is unable to deny the rest—lie had " fermed far too high an estimate of Colonel IngorsoU's sincerity and truthfulness." He pleads, however, that Ingersoll's withdrawal from the movement to compel the Government to become carriers of filthy literature wan a. sign of "manliness and courage." The feeling of the entire country revoked against the petitionand its promoters, and Mr Cooper asserts that "his warmest friends" have been " most outspoken in their condemnation of Inßersoll's action in the matter." Do his friends wish the world to oelieve their great High Priest such a fool that he did not know what he was doinj: when he gave his name and influence to this infamous movement? They will find some trouble in persuading sensible ricoplo to accept this very weak explanation. There is no reason in the world to doubt that the petition had IngersoH'e personal sympathies ; and if that was so, his withdrawal was solely in deference to popular clamour, and "courage and manliness" have acquired new meanings in the dictionaries of Rationalism. It would, however, have greatly improved my opinion of Ingersoll's discipies if Mr Cooper had furnished one quotation from an American source in proof of his assertion with respect to the adverse action of any body of Freethinkers in America on this question. The petition was admittedly promoted by Secularist Societies, and I believe it i? in absolute accord with the avowed views of a majority of the members of socnlled Freethought Associations in the United States. A quotation from an orthodox source in proof of this statement woul<' of co'ir»e ' c challenger), hut surely tin AposJi,-* v f ,

Reason will not impugn the thoroughness oi' Joseph Barker, whn not very many years ago held a position among the Secularists of tmglnnd and Amorioa not second to that of Bradlaugh or lngersoll. In his own "Life Story" Barker says :— " Such was the violence of my anti-re-ligious fanuticism that I had actually come, at one time, to believe that infidelity/ in connection with natural scienco, was more friendly to virtue than Christianity. But my faith in this view met with many rudo shocks after I had been gome time in America. Often when I came to lie acquainted with the men who invited me to lecture, I was ashamed to be seen standing with them in the streets, and I shrunk from the touch of their hand as from pollution ; and many a time when I had associated with persons for a length of time, thinking them above suspicion, I was amazed to rind at length that they looked on vicious indulgences as shameless, and were astonished that any man who had lost faith in Christianity should have scruples with regard to fornication and adultery. • • -"when atlength I was convinced past doubt of my mistake, the etl'ect was terribly painful But it was salutary. It went far toward convincing me that whether religion was founded in truth or not, it wasnocessaryto the virtue and happiness of mankind." The resolutions of the Convention of New England Freethinkers reported in the American news by the San Francisco mail on Tuesday show that thesocietios have not changed their creed since Barker penned tlio above description. They have made a cardinal plank in their platform the demand for "the repeal of all laws enforcing the observance of the Sabhath and Christian morality." X X X Mr Cooper's retort with reference to Benjamin Franklin's alleged advice to Paine is really exquisite. He .says :" If Franklin did give this advice, a most astounding miracle was performed, for Franklin died in 17!)0, and the first part of the 'Age of Reason ' was not published, or even written, until 1703." A to the time when tho first part of Paine's most notorious book was written there is no certain evidence. All that is positively known is that Paine handed it to his friend, Joel Barlow, for publication, on the eve of his imprisonment in 1703. Admitting these premises, where is tho need for a miracle to justify the assertion that Franklin had, during his lifetime, used the words attributed to him in dissuading Paine from making a public attack on religion? Franklin had exercised a most important influence on Paine's whole career; on his. persuasion Paine went to America, and they were closely associated in the events of the War of Independence. Franklin's own revocation of deiatical opinions, published when a very young man, was most public and complete. In one passage he saye: "Young man, my advice to you is that you cultivate an acquaintance with, and firmly believe in the" Holy Scriptures—this is your certain interest. He could not have been ignorant of Paine's religious opinions, and what more natural than that he should have strongly dissuaded him from publishing them ? That Paine disregarded the advice after the philosopher's death is surely no evidence against such a supposition. The circumstances narrated necessarily imply that the a Iviee w a < given prior to 1790, and that tie iirst part of "The Age of Reason" was either written, partly written, or drafted in outline by Paine before that date, and that he had communicated his intention of publishing it to Franklin. At any rate the statement quoted by me is advanced on the authority of Allibone's " Dictionary of Authors," the writer of which exhibits no uncertainty regarding either tho date and circumstances under which "The Age of Reason " was published, or the time of Franklin's death. Thepassagehasbeenrepublighed within the last twelve months without challenge by the eminent Dr. J. Hall, of New York, who, I apprehend, has not had to wait for light from this quarter of the flobe to elucidate the career of Benjamin 'ranklin ; and until my erudite friend is able to olfer some better evidence for his declaration that the story is "an impudent lie" than tho ridiculous mare's nest which he has discovered, my faith in the accuracy of Allibone and Dr. Hall -will not be seriously disturbed. XXX The remarks on the passage quoted from Renan afford another evidence of Mr Cooper's singular mental obtuseness and : sheer incapacity to see the point and , bearing of an argument when it is advanced. Let it "not bo said that this expression is unduly harsh and unjust, for , Mr Cooper's many assurances that in no instance would he wilfully misrepresent : prevent me from viewing his criticism as an artful dodge to lead the reader oft' the scent. The extract was expressly introduced as an antidote from the month of a scholarly sceptic to the willy tirade against Christianity contained in Mr Cooper's leaflet. And behold! this most profound critic has made the amazing discovery that tho extract was exactly what it purpoited to be —the admiration of one who lias , devoted tho greater part of his lifetime to the task of divesting Christianity of super- . naturalism! Truly a very Daniel come to judgment, this Apo.stle of Reason. Every person having the most smattering knowledge of Kenan's writings knows that such > passages could be repeated almost indefinitely. But it requires the analytic penetration of a Cooper to detect in the extracts a declaration that the Christianity of to-day is, in the opinion of Renan, as much higher than the Christianity of the New Testament ' as the Caucasian is higher thaii'protoplasm. Renan, pro - eminently among sceptical critics, has sustained the primitive origin of the essential documents of the New Testament. Even tho Gospel of St. John, which lias been so powerfully assailed, he holds to have been written, if not by the hand of the Apostle himself, at least by his immediate disciples forming a School of John. His admiration for tho lofty personal character and teaching of Christ is expressed in language of the most fervid character—ho accepts him humanly, and not supernaturally, as verily " the son of \ God." Granted that the New Testament manuscripts are genuine—and it should be observed that their authenticity and an- . tiquity are better established now than at \ any period of history—l should be pleased \ to learn in what respect the Christianity of to-day is higher than the teaching of its Founder. If there is one thing which believer and unbeliever are agreed upon, it is that Christian practice falls very much below the principles they profess. It is, however, a mere thrashing of the air to follow thw wayward young man in his curious reasonings. With one breath he !el!" us that " tho Chrfct'iin flui-Hi '*as fro::i (he earliestoges been;;•:.:;, eousfraud " [

in the next he assures v.-- that he entertains tho highest, admiration nf it and its m:r:isters ; declining at onu moment that Cod has left his creatures in ;in ■'impenetrable cloud," ho goes on to 101 lus that "when reading p-itions of the Bible, it almost seems to me as if the glowing words had been traced by the very finger of God." In this sentence he sets forth that "if the Sabbath as a day of rest should ever cease to exist, the Christian Church will be largely responsible for the disaster/ becauso of the support which its leaders commonly give to secular callings on that day ; and fifteen lines lower down he declares that if the Sabbath is to exist " it must be secularised, and the Signs of the times indicate that this will ere long be accomplished." " Secularised," be it observed, cannot here mean established by the secular law, because that has already been done. Mr Cooper charges me with desiring my "opponent's damnation rather than his conversion." Let me assure him tlmt I seek neither the one nor the other; with his present opinions he has simply mistaken the camp in which he should be found fighting. If these views are not brought more into sympathy with tho cold scientific materialism which forms the only logical basis In- a purely secular plan of operation, he v. ill quickly sicken of the utter futility of a orwpol of negations, and come back as nfttnmlly to the side of the Churches and Christianity as M i- Bruith waito, the late Vice-President of Hie D.inedin Fieethouglit AhM.ci.-ii.iwi.nnd publisher of the " Echo," has done. lam no reader of character if it is not true that Mr Cooper's present position in the Frcethought Association is simply;!,, outcome, of a rebellion against the tnu:u:iels of a too narrow theology, which should properly h.ive been corrected by thatbrondci view ofth<:Christian By-stem which leads even Kenan to put forward one of his most eloquent appeals for the preservation of '■ thut mighty Church" through whose "august, formulas" " cen tunes have recognised and udurcd the divine wisdom." I u O Mr Cooper the justice of believing from what I gather of his evidently honest, though somewhat chaotic opinions, that while he revolts from materialism, he has no sympathy with that ignorant disbelief—the lumkinism of S : tionalism—which, having its origin noti n free thought but. sheer ignorance, and attracted by the doctrine of irresponsibility, linds its way in overwhelming force into most of these societies. And 1 do not hesitate to say that my opponent, as he is pleased to term himself—though so far as the phrase infers enmity it is misapplied— is infinitely more out of harmony with his present surroundings than ever he was when an exemplary son of the Church.