HUMOUROUS CLIPPINGS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXI, Issue 4115, 15 September 1883, Page 6 (Supplement)

HUMOUROUS CLIPPINGS.

An editor wrote a headline, "A Horrible Blunder," to go over a railroad accident; but though it was the printer's fault that it got over an account of a wedding, the editor was the man thrashed all the same.

A bride complained to her husband that she had been too busy all day to get off her feet once, and that unhappy man, who had already discovered several make-ups in her construction, exclaimed in amazement. " Great heavens ! do they come off, too ?"

Wasn't it rough on Clara, just as she was telling Frederic at lunch how ethereal her appetite was, to have the cook bawl out: "Say ! will yer have yer biled pork and beans now, or wait till yer feller's gone ?" A man from a neighbouring town wished one of our banks to take his note a short time ago. The directors said they would cash the note if his brother would endorse it. The next day in came the man with his brother's signature on the note. The bank took it and paid the money. "When the note became due the signer did not pay it, and the bank notified the brother. That jentleman came into the counting-house in amazement and asked, "What have you against me?" "Didn't you endorse a note for your brother?" asked the cashier. "Not that I know of," replied the man. " Isn't this your signature ?" then demanded the bank official, producing the note. The man looked at his name written on the paper, and rubbed his eyes. " Yes," said he, " that's my signature, sure; but I should think he might have allowed me to write it!" He paid the note. The Duke of York once remarked to Colonel W., at the mess of the 11th RogiWent, that the Colonel was uncommonly and, although a younger man than *«s Royal Highness, he stood moro in need ot a wig. The Colonel, who had been of ysry long standing in the sorvice, and wnoee promotion had been by no means H * V lnf°™ed His Royal Highness ™at t""s baldness could be very easily acwunted for. "In what manner ?" asked TJrj Highness, rather eagerly. To offln Col °nel W. replied, "By junior officers stepping over my head." The Duke tralW J? 1?08^ wi-h the reply that the 3ayß^tert°nel obtainod 'promotion a few