Lime-juice Champagne.

Auckland Star, Volume XI, Issue 3198, 21 October 1880, Page 3

Lime-juice Champagne.

The momentous question which. encaged the logal miud of tlio Courts, the clerks, ( and tho polico this morning, was whether a compound known as " Lime-juice Champagne " is a ferraoatcd and spirituous., liquor, or a beverage itt for tho most cousciontious Good Templar. Amongst the goods seized at Whangamata was a quantity of this mysterious beverage. Tho Bench, always anxious to adhoro to the atrict letter of the law, was troubled with conpunctious Waitings of conscicnco as to whether " lime-juiced champagno " comos withiu the desigaatiou of fermented and spirituous liquor and is liable to seizuro and confiscation under the outlying .Districts sale of Spirits Act. In this dilomna tho Court proposed to submit the question to the decision of a jury of teetotallers. Sub-Inspector Purdy, howoYer, sugcostcd away out of the difficulty by sending for a Custom House officer whose woll-trained palate would, of course, at once detect tho presence ot alcohol. lint unfortunately no such otlicial could bo found, and the Court had to fall back on its own inexperienced resource?. A bottle of the compound, gorgeously arrayed in gold leaf and guilt letters, was produced in sight ot the Court, and .Detective Jeffrey, with the skill of a practised hand, removed the attractive seal and drew tl.e cork, which came out with an explosive " pop," that act the mouths of muuy rednoacd old " habitues" a-watering. Several tumblers wero then produced by v constable from some mysterious place of concealment, and amidst the breathless suspense of the spectators, the Court, Mr Cunningham, and Sub-Inspector Pardy proceeded to sample the liquors, with all the solemn gravity of old connoisseurs. Tho Sub-Inspector was the first to break the awful silence, unhesitatingly pronouncing too liquor fermented and spirituous, and vouchsafing the information that oven the Good Templars' favourito beverage, gioger wine, is alcoholic, containing spirits of wiuc. The Sub-Inspector further took tho Court and tho public into his confidence, by stating that ho was at at one time engaged in tho manufacture of these compounds. The Court, alter tasting the "lime-juice cliampague" aud critically scrutinising the contents of the tumbler, remarked, " Why, it's in a state of fermontafton now," mJ ti.o clerk hastened to support the dictum of the Bench by adding, between a succession of Kiiidcks, " Yes, Your Worship." In order to give weight to its decision, the Court, however, suggested that Mr Grigg- should taste the liquor, but " the poet, who, has successfully wrestled with "tho drmk fiend" for thirty-five years, gravely and deprecatingly shook his hoary head by way of declining the tempting offer. Tho reporters, who consider their claims to analytical skill in experimental chemistry to have been superciliously overlooked, were not consulted. Ultimately, after Detective Jeffrey had identified tho bottle, and unhesitatingly pronounced its contonts alcoholic, the Bench, came to a decision on tlii - momentous question, and ordered tho "lime-juico champagne " to bo confiscated. What will the Good Templars do ?