FLASHES OF FUN.

Auckland Star, Volume VI, Issue 1609, 10 April 1875, Page 5 (Supplement)

FLASHES OF FUN.

.' What makes you look so glum, Tom ?' ' Oh, I had to endure a sad trial to my feelings.' What on earth was it?' ' Why, I had to tie on a pretty girl's bonnet with her mother looking on.'

Anybody might know that Bailey was back in Dahbury. Alluding to ice on the walks, he says : ' We can understand why the druggists do not clear their fronts. People must live. But we dont understand the other dealers.'

A lawyer once asked a hotel-keeper the following questions : 'If a man gives you a hundred pounds to keep for him, and dies, what do you do? Do you pray for him ?' . 'No sir,' replied the landlord,' I pray for another just like him.'

A celebrated judge,-who stooped very much in walking, had a stone thrown at him one day, which fortunately passed over him without hittipg him. Turning to his friend, he remarked : ' Had I been an upright judge, that might have caused my death.

■ A Detroit gentleman walking behind two children the other day heard the boy inquire, J Will you be at the party'tonight?', M shall be there,' answered the roiss,' but I may as well tell you now that your love is hopeless. Iklamma is determined, father is set, and it isn't right for me to encourage your attention. I can be a sister to you, but nothing more. Therefore you needn't buy me any valentines or give me any more gum. ;, When a boy is sitting on the sunny side of a barn, waiting for.his father to come home and ' lick 'him, you might talk astronomy to him for four straight hours, and not excite his interest. ..

Sunday-School Teacher- —' What do you understand by suffering for righteousness sake?' Boy (promptly) -—'Practising hymns, in the morning, teacher, and Sunday-School in the afternoon, and Bible class in the evenin'!'

Queeies. —In what vehicle did the man ride who was driven frantic ? When a man revolves much in his mind, does it make him dizzy ? If all things are for the best, where do the rations for the second best come iVom ? What i* the exact width of a broad grin P

Instead of Complyino.t—He took a bath at Skinner's hotel, and instead: of complying with the request, 'Please pull the plug after bathing,' he took a card, and writing upon it,' Compliments of J. Wiggins: please pull your, own plug,' pinned it to the wall, and went his way.