FENTON AND HIS CROSS SOFTAWDER.

Auckland Examiner, Volume IV, Issue 276, 27 June 1860, Page 2

FENTON AND HIS CROSS SOFTAWDER.

(fo Editor of Auckland E Ximlner} - The Fish won’t bite The bait won’t la ’ k . lhe cock won’t fig| lt The oven won’t°bake intrusted lo such a man as Mr p„,, the mark !) who has the ability, t b e . fGod lave courage, to carry out the projects o f i„*al ment,”&c. J 01 G oVetJ * Well, this is really rich! If t y, meant as a burlesque, “ Subscriber’’ succeeded—hit the right nail exactly "S#. —his caricature is perfect. l am n«" the h «i that" Subscriber” has injured Fenton't”?' l s », beslandering. 0 eklc >tsucl 1 I deny that Fenton has ability <„ , courage but I aver that he has a pi‘ t ’, 01 "M of the three. I happen to know a H- t | tieman in question. If he possesses the > tions attributed to him he must have 1 under a bushel, for the light has hithw r'* pervious save to bis fellow lick spits if™*he is enthusiastically egotistical ■ this m J • 1111 t avertible. Fenton is on beautiful " 151 »* self-rich in flunkevism-I grant v ’? 1111 * suppleosity of the Sir Pertinax McSvcod, lllk ‘ —a perfect posture-master—skilled ?," t 1 !cll0 »l 1 of deforming the body, -provided tin t- ar,! terests benefit by the contortions ' Really, Sir, i t creates my wonderment tl,, ral attraction should have lost its DO w I" llu ’ boos, and cringes, so often practised tlal|lle otisly displayed in the genuHectiouj] ments of “ the Colonial made attornev” I‘""Ji * uncreative of admiration. The mirJl. -l still walks upright-1 mean bodily J ll ? 1 ' consequence of the head procrastinating iS/V". visit to the toes. Medical men are of ‘ ,1 that is a sine yua non- 11 are ot o P>nton that That head and feet Must shortly meet. In short,that bead and toes must be eventmlw tailed into each other. The ‘■Subscriber’s” pet fully demonstrate die vers fc of the Fenton capabilities. He would mildly J the cleaning of Fum s boots-go of errand.-® forte being to do dirty work iemake himselfagre able. I hat he has succeeded, and earned for him* selfa snug billet, is true;—without thetalenttoeam or retain it, is palpable. There is quantum suff'of office-mongers without adding to the heavy bwd ei , inflicted by hungry cormorants on the colony It appears to. me that Red Cat has hadsomethine to do in elbowing “Subscriber” into bispaper-but how he could patronize a disciple of the “Kana swindler" is what lam puzzled to make out. Herod and Pilate can be friends when policy suits. ff e : see anomalies every day in this Fam city. Whit and Mer, the two attorneys, kiss, shake hands, and hate each other most cordially. If a wish be charitably entertained to place Fenton in a position agreeable to his heart’s wish, the thing is already cut and dried for him. Place him in the attitude of first steward to superintend the coining Maori Feast. He will then bqin his legitimate element, tremblingly alive to the cares and wants, of Ids friends—saying nothing of the opportuuilies sforded to whisper into their greasy ears—‘-Him cancelled your debts to the I’akeha; you may fe». lessly continue to procure goods from the while man to any amount. Send for me if they pressym for payment,! will emancipate you." "Son ofuur father! the illustrious Fum has put good thoughts •< A nntlrof ninon nf Wo an full—can eat no more. We are truly sensible of, and thank you for the gorge, Our skins are tight’ ened ; but you must not ask us to sell our land's io Fum, or any of his Fumites. Now givens tubaccco and pipes, and we’ll go to sleep.” . “ Subscriber,” shut up, and abstain from further injuring your friend Fenton. Yours, &c. Cantharidm. Auckland, 23rd June, 1860. P.S. If the money about to be expended for the coming Maori gorge, had*been appropriated to the relief of the Taranaki sufferers, charity would have applauded the act. Finn is the individual cause of the misery and the murder of our countrymen. What has he given, or will give? When the sky falls we’ll catch larks.