COATES OFF.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 1813, 4 November 1931, Page 6

COATES OFF.

OVERHEARD ON THE RELIEF WORKS. "You know, Joe, I think Coates is a bit of a mug," remarked Bill to Ms mate on the relief works. "Since when ain't yer been certain of it 9" asked Joe. "Well," replied Bill. 'l've always liad a bit of an idea that way, but; I like to give credit for good intentions. '' "Good intentions is right," said Joe. "I didn't know he ever knew how to liavo any. Cripes, if a iiamin' dog bit yer, you'd say he must have made a mistake and didn't mean it." "I think he means right," said Bill. "I don't think he'd get up against all us blokes intentional like. The trouble is he don't know." "Well; what do they want a bloke there for what don't kii'ow?" asked Joe. "If he thought lYe'd done, the unemployed a good turn on 'Friday lie 'd go to church oh Sunday to pray for forgiveness; an' all the time he'd be thinkin' he'd done somethiu' he couldn't be forgiven for." "He's not that bad," contended Bill. "Apart from not knowin', an' not likin' to be told, and not seemin' to be able to do anythin' right, he mightn't be a bad sort of bloke at all." "You seem to leave him a lot o' room for improvement," said Joe, sarcastically. "But seeih' as you're so shook on him, what I wants to know is what makes yer think he's a mug?" "Well, it's this way," said Bill. "You see, a long time ago, he said prosperity was just round the comer. Well, it wasn't. Now, a dinkum politician wouldn't let himself be worried by boiu' bowled out like that. He'd tell us lie meant some other corner) or that he'd been misreported. A politician's a bit of a mug if he can't get out o' somethin' by saying the reporter got him wrong, specially if there's only one paper in the town where he said it. O course, I blame him a bit for not gettin' after prosperity when lie knew just where it was an' no one else did. We're all looking for it; but fancy the only bloke who knew where it was lettin' it get away."

"He wouldn't know it if he bumped into it," Joe declared. "It's such a long time since he seen the darn thing that he wouldn't recognise it." "Another tiring I ] ias „ p agai]lgt him, ' said Bill, "is that he wants to toper off and shut down on borrowin'. He s like the ilamin' Borough Council There's plenty o' water when you don t want it, and hoses are barred u-beu you do. Then the garden dries i'P, you get no green peas by Christmas, and all your good work goes for nothin'. Coates borrowed a lot when we didn't want it much, and nothin' when we did. I can't imagine a bloke doin' that on purpose, can you, Joe?" "Depends on the bloke," said Joe. "I don't have to stretch mc imagination any to get the strength o' what Coates would do. There ain't much I can't imagine him doin', except the right thing." "Still," said Bill, "he. might take a wake up one o' these days an' turn out to be a great leader." "0' course," admitted Joe, reluctantly, << ; , bloke „ cvcr knowg w||;l( . might happen after readin' in Saturday's papers that a bloke of 85 and his missus of seventy-six has been presented with triplets. 0' course, anythin' might, happen to a bloke after that," "Here, Mick, what do you think of Coates?" asked Bill, of one of the others. "Don't ask me," Mid; replied. "Me language ain't llowin' too good 10-dny, an' I don't want any of the blokes round here to think I'd be after praisin' him." "Come on," said the boss. "Move those shovels about, a. bit, in case a farmer comes along the road to gel his eye on a couple of"good men to pick out when the twenty bob a week scheme gets going."