Domestic Life.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 372, 25 June 1903, Page 7

Domestic Life.

LOVERS’ LANGUAGE. HO be stricken dumb is a sign af heart malady, but to be X y dumb when ; there remain such eloquent channels of communication to lovers as the ones to be described here is no Advantage. The tender messages a flaunting fan can parity, those that a nosegay, of flowets'may signify, to say nothing of the varied meanings the King’s head pn one of his Majesty’s postagestamps is capable of: conveying, are legion. There is, of course, another side to the matter.- Love is unfortunately not always kind ; repellent moments must be faced, irritating uncertainties, coquettish quibblings, even , harsh-denials.: With all moods and a thoueand-and-one other sentiments the languages of the fan, the flower,- and the stamp are able to cope. Men in hot countries use fans as well "as women. - . _ According to the theory 0 f evolution, it would have been strange had the fan, so expressive a possession, not been utilised still further as an assistant to the expression of the emotions in ordinary either as a' complete labour-saver to heat-ridden folk, or. an amplifier of uttered language. Such it is.. But in these pages it is as an aid to the arts of courtship that is to be considered. It is obvious that where both sexes carry fans an interchange of "sweet nothings is- more easy than when only the woman, does so. x The Fan* Cupid Likes. ‘ It must fold this fan that Cupid likes. With the flat paper feather kind he has no patience. Were such not used when first into England fans were introduced during the Tudor period as instruments with, which to- chastise' unruly; daughters'' and beat insolent varlets? Then the fan had a long, stout handle, and was consequently efficacious as a punishment-stick,: r k .>■ ? .* <r Tho languagebf : the fan- will be .found usually helpful* in cases of courtship where the course of true love does not run smooth. It is quite possible with its assistance to completely evade the sharp ear of a duenna, and even her eyes, should she be no mistress in the arts of furling and folding. But the object of the girl’s affection must be withiij ; sight-rang£, V Eveii-he’may be out in the street and she from her prison chamber window too far away for speech bes anxious to speed some message to him.

Barriers are,,.broken;, distance matters not, the gates of silence themselves are shattered by a few magic passes of the flaunting fan. We will imagine that the hero of a love story the coarse of which does not run smooth has the good fortune to be in his beloved one's presence one evening at a ball. He has by letter poured forth all his passion, and has implored her for a sign in token of her answer to his question : * Will you be my wife ?' She disposed to lengthen out the sweetness of her wooing, extraordinary though it is and quite uncommon,' will scarcely be willing directly she sees him to let her fan rest on her -right cheek, for that would be ■tantamount to an uttered 'Yes' straight off, and no true daughter of -Eve''accepts a proposalquite so bluntly. " Instead, carrying her fan in her light hand, and holding it in front of her face, she issues the invitation ' Follow me/ which, accordingly? of course he does, with a beating - heart, believing her to have discovered some secluded nook in whichi they may snatch a few moments' bliss. '

But on i the way, alas! she is: circumvented ; instantly her fan is rapidly agitated'(she holds it, he perceives, -in her left -hand),-and-telegraphically, quite on Marconi lines, she - informs him are 1 -; ':'£■■. %M $M ijli &M ?:■ Tp Qb? Bib of You.';: 1 Shall he Yes; : he wlHf Stealthily he creeps up to her near neighbourhood. At that juncture her chaperon waylays her. Should, that inflexible and cruel martinet see ■him, all is oyer for that evening, the carriage will be ordered and she will.be dealt,.with summarily as a prisoner should be, who, put on parole, has broken her word, if not in the letter of the law, in the spirit of it. So. with. intense majesty she issueßj the mandate f I wish) rid of you,' an"'order she makes "un pleasantly clear by placing her fan upon her left ear. *»•■* Affronted and troubled, he falls back into obscurity, but not before she has had time to flash at him the blissful, news /I love you,' accomplished by the drawing of the fan across her cheek.' '4 ~ w- .' / Absence, says one of the insanest of insane old proverbs, makes the heart grow fonder. Some humorist probably invented the Baying when in a sourly .cynical mood. It is, on the whole, in these days, untrue, whatever it may have been in; those of stage-coaches when necessity parted sweethearts more frequently than now. So imagine, if you please, our lover and his lass after a year's absence from one another, during which time no communications have between them, meeting once mere at a ball. She has been true and faithful; he, judging by appearances, has tried to forget, and has very fairly well succeeded. Before he saw her 'she savr him,, amusing himself with a very pretty

last, she sadly draws her fan across her forehead.. '.You have changed,' it says. \ . : ,- ""•,.-..• *" r *,.', Then rapidly, and in order, to give him his release, and to save her own pride, she angrily draws the fan through her hands.' -« » ■■ 'I Hate You,' • aghast. ' I hate you I' hisses Next it rests upon her p|un,? after sjie has fluttered it rapidly. His doom is seated almost as surely as if it had been fluttered slowly, which would have signified ' I am married/ for that rapid flutter signifies < I am engaged.' So he throws discretion to the winds, and never rests until he contrives to reassure her as to his undying love for her, and her alone. Urging her to answer him truly whether or not she really is engaged, she answers, 'No,' by resting the fan upon her left cheek, then shyly drawing it across her eyes, as if to wipe away a repentant tear, and then, bringing it up on her left shoulder, he receives the message, ' I am sorry,' while next comes the sweet appeal, «Wait for me,' breathed by the widely-opeued fan ; and ' laterf the still sweeter one ' Kiss me,' of the fan handle on the lips.' No reasou now to apprehend the reproach, * You are cruel,'-which the fan opened then-shut would:have uttered, nor the most unkindest cut of all, • We will be friends,' indicated by the fan being dropped on the floor.'