Advice to the Newly- Married Man.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 372, 25 June 1903, Page 5

Advice to the NewlyMarried Man.

" When about to marry—don't," says our old 'friend' Punch.' Of course you've neglected this caution. Its the good advice one appreciates sometimes too late, and. after all, its goodness is a bit doubtfn', " Marriage," say the Orientals, " is like a box containing ninety-nine serpents and one eel; if you put your hand into the box, and if the Gods favor, you draw out the eel, <f not—?"

Of course you have drawn the eel 1 Mnny men don't quite know if they have. They act at .first as if they had got the eel, and by-and-bye,*"as.a.result of their own neglect and criminal, selfishness, the harmless eel turns out a fiery serpent." "them right. Woman is like the serpent. Squeeze it tight-and it is harmless, handle it gingerly and you'll soon jump. The young wife answers to the same treatment. Squeezing occasionally won't do any harm—at least she seems to take it kindly—but for any sake don't try the stand-off treatment, or you'll fare worse than a fat man on the treadmill,

If you've got a good wife, for heaven's sake ' tell her so. Some men treat their wives as .if the poor creatures were fools, when perhaps theonly foolish act they ever committed was in marrying such apologies for men. Everything: that wears trousers and a coat i> not a " man "—many are only half-evoluted, like Robbie Burns' " something like a man"; and many a poor woman has found this out to her cost when too late; Mr Seddon said: " Trust the people," and as a result .the people have done handsomely for Richard. So trust your wife, and you'll see she'll amply repay you. There's some scraggy souls who want to know how much the last pennyworth of blacfclead cost, and how many potatoes were in the last 3d worth, and expect their wives to keep tally. « Most men have good wives—as good as they deserve, sometimes heaps better. You can tell a good housewife by her actions. She studies to get the very best possible for the home. For instance, intelligent wives know that Hondai Landa tea is cheapest in the long run, stands a second or even a third water (on a pinch), and is fragrant and pure. They know Hondai Lanka Cock o' the North is packed in soldered lead in Ceylon, and is therefore free from aduteration; they know their husb >nds like a refreshing and reinvigorating tea, and so they provide the delicious Hondai Landa. It's a first-class test if your wife sets Hondai Lanka tea on the table. She's a good wife—tell her so. She'll like it.