Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 367, 21 May 1903, Page 2

Humour.

is.a great believer in fate, isn't he P' | : le has to blame hiaf in competency on. something.*,, Ij ' Mrs. Swellmah: * I dreamed last night that I was with a bos party afrtfieorjera.' ■Mr.; Swellmani * I .wondered, why you were talking so hud in your sleeK* j. * '■''''■' Arthur'"?" * Yes, I'think Minnie loves? me ■ very much. She's ardear girl'; she has a large heart.' ■- , rjarry like : a London, pmafe:. bus; always room lor one | ' ; Flossie : ' I'm- afraid, Bridget, that mamma is dissatisfied with you.' j . , Bridget:'ls-she, bow? Faith, thin, .she'll soon have a chance to be dissatisfied 1 wit* somebody else !*>" j ,i;;^I ! Young.Man: 'So- Mißf| T Ella;,dß r jour oldest sister ? .Who comes* afterher P? - s Small Brother s '.Nobody ain't corn") as "yet j 'btit pa the first fellow jthat •comes can have 4eft* : <*«!s i . Alice : ' What makes you think your new photographs so horrid P' Gladys: ' All my girl friends ask for one, and my men friends don't j •That's my?wife. ißav^joulewrfmet her before ?' ' No.; ,nevejf had the, pleasure.' s s"' .-* Now" 1 -know-jon; neve* m%t he.' s "brolly: 'idiarence used "dreadful slanguage when he missed the ball, playing "golf yesterday.-" ft f£f§ 5 f ussie • isDeah me!'".' What did he say P * saidi<©, fudge!' in, the most brutal mannah.' W; i\ • A^3na|ring""xaa^*eKM^* lie S ,, | : ; I ' Whatdo,youJnean f'k:JM *y j*' > ' Well, he keeps gettin? away f romuthe key.' E f* •MB •She b 1 1s he a dear friendjof ypure V He; ?,Oh J sure. He me for a loan every week or so. 1 |.' ^ da y i ha< " you dldn'fget |aar|ied? i| , j | '""Welf; I'd rathernetbe married and be sorry I wasn't than be married and be sorry I was,' r 1 When Elsie was about eight year£ of age she hated being called of a morning, and thought of a way out of the necessity. ' Trespissurs on my dreams shall be prose-;? kuted!' was the, announcement in her largest writing, found pinned on to' her coverlet.

The Greek, church, was opened recently at- s tne ! Snrpta PaBB has been meraryil of iheut repulsion of tbe tKiairtace Greek pattern, the arcHitectf -Beißg'Professor Vosnesenki. ,-i ha, double Eusaian cross ia to be seen in 'prominence on theminarets. Shipka is a pass in the Balkans,; onVisbe iide r aboutfifty miles northeast of Philippopolis, audi; eigt.tj-B£ven miles equth : west on tb'e Danube.' iVw&tf Here that| : mdstHerfibTe'stit'uggles in thee Bubso .Turkish War took place, Eusßians, under General Gourko, enteredEoumelia through the pass After their-, retreat the pßss wasi fortified, and it was: in attempting ijPfciak* Fort Nicholas at the Bummicfrtfft pass that' Suleiman Pasha, the Turkish General, lost 20,000 of his best men; Th9 ? fight lasted for ten days, and the Bu98ian"loB«!3s were also very; large. A, little, later the fffnrM 61 * arfry| suffered defeat at Phifippopolis, for which= Suleiman PaßVakwas* Courtmartialled and-5 sentenced •to'nfeen' years' imprisonment! but the Sultan pardoned him-wi' i f M OMj ...-, gafounininßia .6v3 ? m«0 ! } j ',During,%e>;hQts aajsj the London 'Truth,' a well-known baronet; came acro6S ! "th'ree workmen engaged t pn a'' **j6b'6h Ji Ms' estate." Ohe*f : tS6m re-S marked.,; as workmen, not infrequently do, on the;joteoThe teat hjad perhaps extended,, itself .the baronet's temper r at any rate, He.turned away wijth the replf:'*lf y6\i' aire thirsty, you kncjw where the well is. You will find a pail i;hera.' Thinking over his remark arlittle later, it flashed across the baronet's mind thatbe hadigiven; prderßfforitbreejirotth s of champagne to ,b§ put into the pail and lowared TnwTthe* weil ; 'to cool for dinner. He hastened, to thcrwell and discoveredthree emptyfbottleaHlT f,iiJnc t sA The Bkin of an adult man spread qut on a smooth surface would cover fifteln j square feet,