Sketcher.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 360, 2 April 1903, Page 7

Sketcher.

STOBY OF A MOTOR CAB. . Mabnl,—Although I wrote J&GM. yo * * loa £ httet y«st«aday, I M£?i> must write again to-day and tell ycu the good' news. Papa has consented to buy me an automobile. It took a whole week of tears, pouts, and pleadings, but at last he has ordered the machine, &ni it is coming down tomorrow, although he says he expects' to have to order my tombstone i H the near future. By the bye, Helen says she knows all about automobiles, and I'm going to take her out on my first spin. Wish you could come along. I know we shall have a grand time.—Edyth. Dear Mabel,—Well, the automobile arrived. It is the 'cutest thing you ever saw. Dark maroon and as graceful as a fairy. lam fascinated with it. Papa insisted on engaging an expert chauffeur, but I wouldn't hear of it. What is the use of owning something you are afraid to run yourself ? Mr. Wilson came over and showed me a few minor details, and after that I know everything. Why, I actually ran it two blocks as pretty as you please. Mr. Wilson begged to give me a few more lessons, but I declined with thanks. Why, he is worse than papa. I wonder why men have such little confidence in woman's ability to do anything P It is provoking. However, to-morrow Helen and I will show them that we are not so slow, after all. We are going to take a long spin into the country. Oh, how I wish that you could join us! Wait until I write about our delightful trip. You may expect to hear of some fun. From your loving friend,—Edyth. Dear Mabel,—l must start my letter by asking you if you ever felt as though you had been brußhsd aside by a locomotive, used as a cerpet by a stampede of mules, and run ihrongh a wringing machine? If you never have experienced these delightful sensations I am sure you oan scarcely experience my feeling as I lie propped up by pillows, writing this letter. Dear Mabel, we took the trip. We started from our cottage with buoyant hearts and cheeks flashed with excitement. It seemed as if we were drifting over velvet and our speed increased. H len was delighted, and her hair trailed on the breezs. People along the highway stared, and I could only feel my bosom rising with pride. I felt that I was the chauffanse.

On, on we spun past gaping rustics and barking dogs. Then sudd-nly I thought I would Blow down a bit Horrors! the machine refused to respond to my efforts. It was a terrible moment. There was a curve in the road ahead, and we seemed to be going like" the wind. Then I renif inhered about Belen saying she knew all about automobiles and looked around Poor Helen had fainted dead away, and was in danger of falling out, but I held her and set my teeth for the worst. It cama. We struck something, and I remembered no more. When I opened my eyes I was lying on the sofa in our parlour. ' She isn't much injured. I heard someone say; ' * only suffering from the shock.' I looked up and saw papa, the doctor, and Mr. Wilson. 'What has happenedP' I demanded as soon as I coald find my breath. «Nothing, dear.' spoke up papa, * only you went out and smashed up your new automobile. But never mind, all little children break their toys soon after they get them.' Papa actually laughed, and 1 was mad as could be. Then he made matters worse by saying that he thought a goat cart would euit me better than an automobile. But who do you think found us, dear? Thpt horrid Mr. Wilson.- It seems that he became uneasy about us, and had the presumption to follow us in his own machine. Ha saw the accident from a distance, and was the first to pick U3 up. I bet he will gloat over that for a year. P.S.—The automobile (what is left of it) can be seen in the clover field, wbeie it ended its wild journey.—* New York Herald.' ■ '

OLD FRIEND JOSH BILLIN9S. The muel \% baff horse, and haff sunthing elae, and then cams to a fall stop, discovering her mistake. They Jjan'fc hear enny quicker nor further than the horse, yet their ears are big enuff for sno tshnae. Yu kan trust them with enny one whose life ain't worth ehny more than the •rauel's. The only wa to keep them in a pasture, is to turn them into a meddow jineing, and let them jump out. Tbey are reddy for use, jußt az soon az they will do to abuse. T' ey hainfc got enny friends, and will liv on huckleberry brush, with an occasional chance at kanada thissells. They sel for more munny than enny other domestik animiles, Yu kaut tell their age bi lo' king into their mouths enny more than yu could a Mexikan kannons. They never hav no diseaze that a good klub won't heal. If they di, they must cum rite to life agin, for I never herd noboddy say ' dtd Muel.' They are like some men, very korrupt at heart, i have k none them to be good Muels, for 6 months, just to git a good chance to kick sumboddy. Enny man who iz willing to drive a Mael, ought to be exempted bi law, from running for the legislator, They are the strongest} kreeters on arth, and the heavy est too, ackording tew their siaa. I herd tell ov oust, who fell oph from the sidewalk, into the kannall, and sunk az soon as he tutched bottom, but kept rite on towing the bote to the next stashun, breathing' turn his ears, which stuck out ov the water, 2 feet and 6 inches. I didn't see this did, and would i at her not hav beleaved it, if an auckshioneer hadn't told me ov it. No more on the Muel at present. •COP.' The fountains of philology and etymology never coase to boil. Here i 3 a scholar, perhaps kouiewhwt of a purist and precisian, who fires these questions at us: 'To the Editor of the Sun—Sir: Why does The Sua persist in its use of tho word 'cop' when referring to our bluecoats ? Is it from cop—to steal, to pinch, too cop, to lift: root copi'um (old Latin), to filch? Language.' The recognised formal courteous way of speaking to a policeman is to call him ' officer.' Tne usual name for him when you are speaking of him is 'cop.' 'Policeman is to too long. 'Cop' is sharp, short, easy for the breath and positively softening to the passages. It is net respectful; it is simplv convenient, it was moro strength in it than such English synonyms as 'bobby' and 'peeler.' When a boy playing crans on the sidewalk sees the policeman coming, he yells to his comrades, ' Cheese it! the cop 1' Good, hoaeet, homely language in which the say still flows. We use the wrd 'aojjt because it is expressive, in general use", full of meat, A policeman is a 'cop/ a

detective is a 'fly cop-' So thu moret bat felt powers that make the language, Tom, Dick and Harry, have decreed. The tide of popular usage sets the high and dry old dictionaries' afloat at last. The slang, of to-day may he the pu re classical of tomorrow. It is futile to love ox hate any word, for ~ if it is to make its way into the speech it will do bo inexorably, no matter who kicks and screeches. Bat 'cop' seems to us to be a meritorious Bort of word. It oomeß down sadden and strong, like a blow of a club. The contemporary tongue is nervous and vigorous- For instance, translate * the policeman arrested him'into • the cop pinched him.' What a gain in strength! On the other hand, the beasts ful poetry of 'the cop fanned him' cannot, perhaps,, be reproduced adequately in the more polished style. The vulgar tongue is a genius. There are ceremonious persons who in3ist upon saying- 'copper' instead of, • cop.' Everybody to his taste, but to cur mind 'copper* has little of the curious felicity of'cop.' It smacks of effort It drips with etymblogioal intention. Tet when used with monosyllable adjective, it is not disagreeable. Thus "• the fat copper,' 'the big copper,' although even here the word * cop' seems to be the better usage; and while you often hear of 'the dandy cop.» do yu ever hear of 'the dandy copperP' 'Copper' is the selfconsciouß, affected, 'degant,' 'genteel' term. ' Cop' is more genuine and hearty. With our correspondent's surprising learning we shall not meddle more than to say that no tuch extensive root as copium was ever dug up befor* either in old, middle-aged or young Latin, nor do the makers of the Latin dictionaries know such a word. A great word, like a great man, may be ct humble or unknown origin. ' Cop' may go back to Central Asia and the Aryan shepherds, for all we know. The early world would hare been better for such a word. The philologers havn not traced its genealogy. For we ean End little or no faith m the legend that 'cop* comes from 'copper,' and refers to the copper buttons of certain or uncertain policemen, the 'old metropolitan police,' as divers sages are eager to inform you. The derivation is dangerously simple. The verb *to oop,' - whether it be father or son of the nous, throws no light on origins. Presumably the verb is dor ved from the noun.