CANDID COMMENT.

War Wit, Volume 1, Issue 11, 1 December 1941, Page 11

CANDID COMMENT.

Private Smithers appeared on parade wearing a badly crumpled uniform. The colonel eyed him sternly, then turned to give an order to the battalion. The battalion was formed into two ranks facing each other. Two N.C.O.’s were called upon to lead ? Private Smithers slowly between thq ranks so that all might see him in his untidy state. After being led down to the end of the lines and back, the colonel looked at Smithers and said: “Well, my man, and what have you to say?” The private drew himself up stiffly and saluted smartly, then, without batting an eyelid, said: “The dirtiest regiment I’ve ever inspected, sir.” *. * * When Field-Marshal Lord Milne gave, a luncheon in honour of members of the American Legion in London, reports an English exchange, grace was said by Mr. W. J. Jordan, New Zealand’s High Commissioner. There were his words: — “For what we are about> to eat, Thanks. be to God and the British Fleet.” ... * • * * Pat got a joy in a railway -station. When the first train came' in, however, he forgot the name of the station, so he called out: “Here ye are for where ye are going. All in there for here, come out.” ♦ * * Summer Boarder: “What a beautiful view that is!” Farmer: “Maybe. But if you had to plough that view, harrow it, cultivate it, hoe it, mow it, fence it, and pay taxes on it, it wouldn’t look so pretty.” * * ♦ Definition of a cuddle: Study of anatomy by the Braille system.