TWO PRAYERS

War Wit, Volume 1, Issue 10, 1 November 1941, Page 2

TWO PRAYERS

A London parson had had his church bombed. , Next day he met one of his elderly parishioners. “Well, Mrs. Jones,’ ’he inquired, “how do you fare in these airraids? 1 Do you go to a shelter at night?” “No,” was. the reply. “I just goes up to bed, and I lies down. And then I either says to myself, ‘Safe in .the arms of Jesus,’ or I says, ‘To ’ell with. Ttler,’ and then I turns over and I goes to sleep ** * - Relations between Britain and Finland seem to be finnished. L

' A Dumfriesshire farmer appeared before the Tribunal. His appeal was on behalf of a “herd.”

“But surely, my friend,” said a testy member of the Tribunal, “of all jobs looking after sheep is the one job that could most suitably be undertaken by a woman.” 1 “I’ve only heard of ae wumman ‘herd,’ and she didna mak’ muckle o’ a job o’t.” r ) “Indeed, and who was that, may I ask?” rapped out a Tribunal member. “Little 80-Peep,” said the farmer, and his appeal was granted.

The regimental concert party -was giving its ( weekly’ shows and the conjuror-magician was giving his turn. \ . “Now gentlemen,” he said, “you see this box is entirely empty. Will someone come up here and get inside and I guarantee to make him disappear altogether.” - Voice from audience: “What about you going up and obliging the gentleman,, sergeant-major?”