SEQUEL

War Wit, Volume 1, Issue 9, 1 October 1941, Page 3

SEQUEL

Although the ring is the symbol of marriage among »the so-called civilised races, the wringer is often the symbol that reminds the .wife of marriage afterwards.

A confirmed misogynist was lecturing about the South Sea Islands. “Men,” he said, “are so numerically superior to women that every girl can be sure of at least , one husband.” Addressing women members of his audience:. “Even you might be able to get one.” An' indignant young women rose and stalked away. As she reached the door the lecturer said, “Madam there’s no need to hurry; there isn't a boat till next week.”

Hitler is said to have looted Michel-Angelo’s Moses from the Louvre, and carried it off to Berchtesgaden. ... When asked by his associates why he had stolen this particular treasure he replied, “Oh, it is a * great piece of art, you know.” But one of the Gestapo, spying on . the Fuehrer, has reported another explanation. He saw Hitler on his knees before the great Jew, and. he was saying, “Dear Moses, tell me how you got across that Strip of Water.” , ’

Batman: “I polished the Ser-geant-Major’s boots until he could see his face in them.” •

Private: “Well, that’s one way of getting your own back.”

Tfie girl’s fiance, expecting to be sent to France any day, wanted her to marry him at once. She sought out her wise old maiden aunt. z - ' z , “Aunty, do you think I’m too young to marry?” “Well, dear,” was the thoughtful reply, “if I had my time x over again I’d get married before I had sense enough not to.” z

Motor salesman: Can I show-you something, sir? . ’ Pedestrian: No, . I’m not here to buy anything. But it’s such a wonderful change to be in the midst of all these cars without having to dodge them. -

“When I roll home in the early hours of the morning,” observed the reveller confidently, “my wife doesn’t mind a scrap!” . “Neither does mine,” said his friend. “In fact, she waits up for it!”

A divinity professor was asked to preside at the baptism ;of the latest infant in the already crowded home of the minister of the parish. The professor gave out for congregational singing one of the paraphrases often used on such occasions in Scotland. “Let us,’ ’he said, “sing from the second verse, ‘As sparks in close succession rise’.” To his consternation he observed that the congregation seemed unable to repress a tendency to giggle. Afterwards, asking the minister’s man what had been wrong he was told: “Ye see, sir, the minister’s name is Sparks, and yonder is his tenth bairn.”

“Is it true that Simpson is suing Brown for libel?” ' “Yes.” “What did Brown say?” “Nothing, but the other day when he was walking past Simpson’s milk cart, a divining rod he was carrying started to jump like mad.” -

The very nervous recruit dropped his rifle on parade. The sergeant-major’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Hey, you!” he roared, “how long have you been in the Army?” “Please, sir,,” faltered the miserable recruit, “all d-d-day, sir.”

Mrs. Black: , “Professor,, you must share my joy. Yesterday I became a grand-mother.” Professor (absent-minded) : “My heartiest congratulations! And on your feet again to-day! .What a marvellous constitution!”

New Zealand Scottish Battalion left its bagpipes in Greece. It’s the German’s turn to squeal.