FOREWARNED.

War Wit, Volume 1, Issue 5, 1 June 1941, Page 2

FOREWARNED.

Everyone in . the camp liked “Smithy,” who was especially popular with the padre. There was one fly in the ointment, however, for “Smithy” was fond of the grog. Padre decided to have a word with him in the hope of persuading him to lessen. his drinking. He picked a bad time, for “Smithy” had come back from leave with a skinful. Padre told him about a man who had drunk to excess for several years, and was so completely saturated with alcoholic fumes that one night when he was blowing out a candle, his breath took fire and he was burnt to death. “Thanks, Padre, you’ve saved my life,” said “Smithy,” very earnestly. “How have I saved your life?” asked the padre. “Well,”. replied “Smith,” “I’ll never blow out another candle as long as I live.’’ ■■ ■, ■. /■. . <\ ■. * * s * “Your mother,” said the sergeant to the very awkward recruit, “seems rather upset because you left home to become a soldier.” “Yes, sir, she is,” replied the awkward one. “She keeps on crying.” “Well, just write home and tell her not to fret any more,” continued the .sergeant. “Unless the war lasts fifty years you’ll never be a soldier!” * * * Four Tommies had settled down to a game of cards in a quiet corner of the trenches. Suddenly a great commotion was heard and one of the players jumped up to the look-out step. “Hi, you fellows!” he shouted. “A whole enemy division coming over!”' Another Tommy got up with a bored look on his face. “All right,” he said. ‘‘You get on with the game. I’m dummy this hand; I’ll go.” •