Taken for a Ride

On Our Job, Issue 16, 1 July 1945, Page 2

Taken for a Ride

WE waited for the Seatoun tram at Scott’s College. It came with a rush and stopped with a bang. I had just got on the step when it made a bound that nearly threw me, off again. A row of boots faced me from the platform, and I had managed to wedge one of my boots among these and was trying to find a place for the other one when a peremptory voice said, “Fez, please!” The voice came from a very small lady in a. very big peaked cap, who had me covered with a ticket punch in the best Tom Mix manner. The dear girl was frightened I would fall off before she got my fare. When I had shouldered my way inside, the car took a curve with a swing that landed me in the lap of a lady seated on the left. For the first time in six months I had found a seat on that tram. But I didn’t keep it long. If that lady was one of the gentle sex, there was nothing gentle in the way she straightened me up. Unfortunately she didn’t keep me straight, for now the car took a swing on an opposite curve and threw me across a fat man. in. a bowler hat seated on the right. In my descent I made the bowler hat look like a pancake. The fat man thought I was a silly ass and said so. Now I grabbed a strap and swung North, South, East and West as the car jumped, jerked, swung, swerved, then, suddenly crashed to a stop and tried, to stand on its head. By comparison, crossing the Straits on the Tamahine in a gale was a pleasure cruise. Another tram crossed in front of us at the end of Constable Street. Now, thought I, we will steady up, but we didn’t. Every time that tram started, ours jumped after it like a hound after a hare, and every time it stopped ours stopped on its tail with a crash. “All tickets, please,” said a voice at my elbow. .It was an inspector. I went through my vest pockets; my coat pockets; my overcoat pockets; there was no ticket. The inspector signalled the little lady in the peaked cap who gave me another ticket and a vindictive look as I paid my fare a second time. With a quiet word of advice in my ear about the penalties attached to

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