ALL IMPORTANT

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 30, 11 December 1942, Page 12

ALL IMPORTANT

Author: “It’s always the same! Whenever I want to work I can’t lay my hands on anything.” Wife: “But, dear, I’ve just filled your fountain pen and put out plenty of paper.” Author: “Yes — what have you done with the corkscrew?” The lad had been brought by his mother for an interview with a prospective employer. After a series of questions the interviewer asked: “Are you truthful, my boy x Before the lad could answer his mother replied: ■■ “ Aye, the lad is that. But, of .course, he understands business is business.” - PILOT KNEW “Oh, yes,” said the pilot of the river steamboat,' “I’ve been on this river so long I know where every stump is.” Just then the boat struck a stump, which shook it from stem to stern. “There,” he continued, “that’s one of them now.” '

The Sunday school mistress introduced the miracle of the water being turned into wine as the subject of the usual Bible class lesson. In telling the story she occasionally asked a few questions. One of them was: “When the new wine was brought to the governor of the feast, what did he say?” A little girl remembering what she had heard, probably on some festive occasion, called out: “Here’s luck!” ““I really believe I’m in luck this time,” said Mrs. Smith, “My new maid is a perfect treasure; clean, energetic, economical, easily managed and capable as can be. “Ah! and how long have you had her?” asked Mrs. Jones. ‘ ‘ She is coming to-morrow, ’ ’ replied Mrs. Smith. . / Young Man (to her little brother) : “Johnnie, it may be cruel to tell you, but at the party last night your sister promised, to become my wife. Will you forgive me for taking her away?” Johnnie; “Forgive you? Why, that was what the party was for. ’ ’ Drill Sergeant: What has 24 feet, green eyes and pink body with purple stripes? , Rookie: I don’t know. What? Sergeant: I don’t know, either, but you’d better pick it off your neck.

Gunner: I fee] like telling that sergeant where to get off again. Second Gunner: What do you mean “again?” Gunner: I felt like it yesterday, too. Two seamen were having an argument over a game of cards. “My three aces win,” said one. “Ain’t you ashamed of your dishonesty?” demanded another, “I only dealt you two aces. ’ ’ Customer: “The new butcher across the street is giving you tough competition.” Butcher: “That’s all right. The time for me to worry is when he starts giving me tender competition.”