The Cowardly Hero

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 19, 25 September 1942, Page 2

The Cowardly Hero

(By “The Gadfly.”) Reg Williams, of the Star-Tribune was in an ugly mood. He was; fed up to the back teeth. He seemed to be getting all the rotten assignments. A little while ago he had had to spend three days covering a Methodist conference, while Griggs had the Thornton murder trial without a break. Now he had been shoved on to the Appeal Boards. It sickened him, for he hated the whole atmosphere of the proceedings. Having somewhat of a taint Of the “Red” in him, . he couldn’t help having an almost lively sympathy with the poor helpless beggars who appeared before the tribunal, for after all they were just about helpless, with their half-baked religious theories, in the hands of the wide-awake and fully capable fellows who ran the show. He didn’t doubt-the sincerity of their beliefs, but few there were who had' the brains or the wit to present their cases in a manner that stood the least chance of convincing the board, and for the most part, they said their little say, in a half frightened, or corni-defiant way, expressing themselves in a welter of religious jargon, for which reasonable, every-day sort of men could hardly refrain from showing amused contempt. It was well into the third year of the first world war, and the number of cases that were coming forward for hearing was increasing ,and it had been his rotten luck, at this session, to have to cover the proceedings, and so he was far from happy. TAMALAINE VETRUVIOUS He entered the building, and took place at the reporters’ table, gave a curt nod to Chyde of the Press, and leant back, gazing out of.the window, and wishing that he had the power to give an extra spin to the wheels of the clock. It was beautifully sunny our side, and he knew from experience that it would not be long before it was pretty stuffy within, for, over the whole of his years of reporting, he had never known a ' courthouse, wherein the officials appeared to know the reason for the building having windows built ■ into it. *• Within a short while, the various officials wandered in, and stood around in groups, waiting for the “old boy” to put in an appearance. Under • half-closed eyes Reg watched the Army rep., a fel’ow named .Tinkle. Spick and span. Hill 61 self-confidence, he dominated the whole circle. Fairly tall; and straight as a poker, with sharp-, fine-cut features and flashing eyes,'and somewhat of a domineering manner, he had few illusions about his job. It was his business to ferret out the shirker who was using religion as a cloak for cowardice, or to show that the views of an appellant did not come within the - scope of the clauses which allowed exemption. In his own heart he had quite a sympathy for an -old one here and there, but in brain, he was inclined to be.a trifle harsh in his own judgment of other men consciences, because, for the life of him, he could not understand any man laving claim to a faith which asked him to be a human football, to be kicked all over the show by any bully powerful enough to do it. Fn due time, proceedings commenced and Reg noted down a striking.point here and there, but in the main confined himself to the appellant name, his plea for exemption, and the result, the latter generally being written into his copy well ahead of the board’s ruling. They were all so honeless. And so the morning wore on, and Tynkle was looking a little satisfied, for, so far there had -been no “adjourned sine die” to stand against his score. A' further ease was called, and because of the peculiarity of the name Reg evinced a trifle more interest. The orderly stood up, and raising his voice so that it was heard all over the room,

.announced, “Tamalaine Vetruvious Snubbins,” at the same time, making a poor attempt to hide a broad grin' . . . and that broad grin became reflected on every other face in the room. The only solemn looking person present .was Tamalaine Vetruvious Snub himself, and if any man looked a matyr nobly bearing his cross along the stony . path of virtue, it was he. He put his case, pleading that he was opposed to all forms of warfare and would rather die than take up arms. Make no mistake,about it, this fellow was nobody’s fool, for he knew his Bible almost from cover to cover, and quoted it at great length, and z it must be said, that on quite a number of occasions he had Tynkle ‘ ‘ stymied. ’ ’ In fact, to a few of Tynkle ’s “stand-bys”. ,he had a quiet but effective ! answer, ' and Tynkle was something annoyed about it, and so at last he came to light with his specialty .... “What would you do if you saw your sister being violated by a German soldier ” T. V., 8. looked upon him with his mild blue eyes, and gravely said; “While thanking God that I, unlike the German, was not a soldier, I would call upon the Lord that my sister’s soul should be preserved from evil, for whatever happened to her body, that would be of no consequence, because her will had not acquiesed to the act. “But would you not interfere?” . queried Tynkle. -“It would be useless,” replied T. V. 8., “for the German had already dusted in his heart.” After that there was a great deal of cross questioning, during which Reg’s pencil travelled fast, and there .were some breezy passages between T. V. 8. and Tynkle, but it all finished with the appeal being dismissed. , In handing down the’ decision, the Board’s president declared that he found it very difficult indeed to discern any difference between straight-forward cowardice and the views expressed by appellant. He hoped that there were few who shared T. V. 8. ’s religious views, or convictions, if they could be called such, and so T. V. 8. left the room. Late? he did a stretch in jail, being specially castigated by the magistrate when he received his sentence. <♦><«><s> Some years later, on a wet Sunday night, Reg strode along the dimly lit street, immersed in thought, paying little heed to his surroundings, for he was on his way to a friend’s house, to 'spend a pleasant - evening, discussing I books and authors. | Suddenly, he was aware of a patch of ' light falling across the footpath some distance ahead, and when he came to it, he found that it was coming from an open door of a dingy, hall, a mission hall, run by one of these newer tangled religious bodies. ( BROTHER IGNATIOUS. He paused, and looked at a poster, stuck up in the porch . . . “Brother Ignatious Leaves To-night for Service ! with the Lepers. ’ ! That seemed interesting, and, on the impulse, Reg. went in. The place was full, and a queer benevolent old guy was speaking, telling, of the many virtues of Brother Ignatious, of his love of the w-oik in the Lord vineyard, and of his response to the call for workers among the lepers. He called on Ignacious to say a few words. Reg looked with interest on this fellow. He was unassuming, with -long hair that, fell over his shoulders, and with a beard that swept his breast, : but the most striking feature was his mild blue eyes. He spoke simply, and asked for the prayers and the love of his fellow servants of the 'Lord. j After the meeting, Reg went forward, I ' and breasting up to the leader of the 1