A ROOKIE WRITES HOME

Goat Island Groan, Volume 1, Issue 5, 4 October 1941, Page 4

A ROOKIE WRITES HOME

Goat Island, Eriday.

Lore esmerelder, 4 i hope this here letter finds you in good health which i aint. i. wish i was back on the farm with you and clara and. the other pigs, this is a hellova place and i cant do nothing rite, they tells me im going to a place called motor tap cause i looked like a goat so here i comes. i has a nice bed much nicer than the one at home and the straw is new and the bed springy and i am next to the only nice bloke i met here his.name is.boid and he .is very elpful i wanted to have a leek just after i got here and my friend boid saidto do it out the winder wich i did and there was a couple of guys outside wot thinks they owned the show, named dickson and jimiller and they got in the way. the bloke jimiler -let out an orful yell wen it went on the other bloke and wen i looked him. it went all over him too they came inter the hut goin crook and wanted to. know my - name, i said it was John thomas and i wanted to start at the bottom and work my way up and they arsked me if i came from fordorset wherever that place is, jimiler has the, best hogcallin voice i ever heard; ‘ . ~ i goes down to some show, they calls the ordinary, room and there is that guy wot.used to run.the station wearing the funniest hat i ever sore so i strolls in and sez ow do ted and he boo oo the ell are you'calling ted so i tells him ow we used'to call jm ted bein short for s — thead and he goes orful crook, cant understand these army guys at all. we are all -called gunars here and mister i mean gunar boid sez we each have a gun of our. own. gunar boid says they will give me a fifteen inch one. the guy dickson comes round just now and arsks me wot i can do and i finds out that- that mertrickulashun i puts yes to is some exam so i tells .him i dint much good at figgers and he says bootiful but dum eh well ive been looking for a bloke to take over beeseeack from lees; » o /. .. ’ j i hope'you get this letter orlrite as gunar ■ ? boid sez. the maile. is pretty terible and some guy medoze reeds all the letters when they are posted so i wont post this as boid sez it is much safer to put. it in a bottle and throw it in.the sea, he sez he* had a lot of luck that way so i 11 try it. . ' see you next leave they say its every other day here, and ill' bash that ted guy wen isee him in the blackout here lots of luv from yore boy . . * ' '

j ohn.