THE-CHRONICLES OE AUGUSTUS OCTAVIUS

Goat Island Groan, Volume 1, Issue 3, 20 September 1941, Page 3

THE-CHRONICLES OE AUGUSTUS OCTAVIUS

Verily- the antics of the recently arrived barbarians doth vastly amuse all beholJ.ers o ■ •_ - t - •For during’ the teaching of the art .of wielding cross hews, they did,produce much discord upon the bolts, they ,should' have shot but die. no not 3 causing one, Bix Boilv's, keeper ,of . the jemmies axi at almost to she shoot hie bolt with anger and certainly straining his vocal cords to the the utmost# . v , ’ v Also at this'time could 'be heard Jimilius bidding his harTartans to make certain movements known as swinging. the arms, as /distinct from swinging the lead, of which 'all legionaries in*-time become masters, . >-..♦< v And at., the javelin training did one known as the youthful i G.,.D„ make a one point landing on his proboscis, whereupoanall the ' legionaries did. laugh muchly. ; ’ . . .... A number of the legionaries did plan -to congregate- and produce the -din known as "Boogie-j.fcogic" o:::t , : J.-' I , ; bjx--lr'.>-/ 6iOne- Merricu^. -was'. an--a >cessory before, the fact, sending unto . tplace ’ much noise producers, drums and tinkling cymbals. . For his part in this ,foul/deed x amny of the legionaries determined to build a fire upon his. ;• stomach an <ud submit him tq.much torture upon return, although' What fate could be worse than . being \ placed in the midst of the musicians"'and leftb to perish 0 ■ Seen in the taverns of‘a certain city was- Rex Puorissimus exceeding ‘merry in his cupv, together with Brutus Car&cticus Agr.ioola and another, not of our cohort. ' ' ' And a certain barbarian, cried unto us ' saying • "Who goes yonder with his chin upon his /cheStand his shoulder blades in his ..hip pockets?”, and we’ replying said” That isiMar'dus , themest youthful ’ of the centurions, he tdid embarkhpn that task known as the anaysis end triedv to reveal its-mystery,to the barbarians; verily it will be many moons before he - smiles';<dga in. - ’ ; There 'came a / . i ine^sang^r ‘unto us at this place, " telling of the strange device, which two of the, centurions had nr educe d o Men, say : that if<M’ soldier makes a» noise like unto a plate of ame^ibi)i- ( or yet rite,- : this machine seizes • upon thesQ noises and. c onverts /them into raftfee’s and bearings and. 'delivers. : pihg-s>p.6ng balls and /©r sticks of nougat wrapped in cellophane on turning ’ the " alternative hand drive'.*- 6" ?• - - "* ■ :/• ■.# , For the centurion ; Barbiu is a J gret x wizard and hi colleague Bracus understands -the Arab ’ : art of the manipulation of figures. .. n ■ . ’’’•Hail Caesar. Viva Maximus Everdonu^ 1 .;. 1 ■' ■ ■"/• .. 11- ■’ ‘ ... h