"KANAKA” DOBSON.

Dozerdust, Volume 1, Issue 14, 13 September 1943, Page 4

"KANAKA ” DOBSON.

DEHYDRATED PEA NUT MAGNATE.

# ” kanaka ” dobson died this morning corcewhoro in tho ” king country " on -which ho lavished so liberally his ill gotten gains* ♦ * * few mon have risen to such spectacular fame as tho man whoso death we record today. * * * he owed his f&rst step up tho ladder of fortune to liout, r. gilmour, now chief engineer to tho now Caledonian government, and designer of that famous scenic railway of that country* it was this officer who gave to h kanaka " hie nickname way back in the forties when tho WORKS SERVICE FHCIRE‘RS wore stationed on tho island for several years.) * * * tradition has it that one morning on parade, Hi out. gilmour said to u kanaka 11 1 11 my man, those boots of yours, what has become of tho solos ? and your hair, why ydu have not h a d it cut for at least six months c and those two buttons on your fly....where wore you last n|ght ? !> to all those questions 11 kanaka had not answer*. so lieut gilmour went on* ’’ you, you, look like a kanaka , you must got rid of the bad habits !** * this got dobs on* he there and thon decided to return to now Caledonia whon tho war was over -and knock knawka habits out of kanakas by employing them in his vast dehydrated pea nut industry* how he cane to originate tho industry has boon a closely guarddd secret known only to a few. by the courtesy of his financier, nccosh, wo aro able to givothe full story. * ** in tho building section of WORKS SERVICE ENGINEERS there was one norrio swift, a pea nut eater of prodigious capacity* services section to which 11 kanaka” was attached ( he was * most affectionately so) challenged the building section to match norrio against K kanaka”, tho challenge.'was accepted. * * * lorries scoured - the country for pea nuts* tho WHARF COY. . unloaded several boats of then specially for the contest* bill wo'-risoy blew tho side out of a hill for the stage, jim, blo.ir graded tho terraced neats, auscio austin and friend macalo b n ttordd hell out. of tho sides* h. s q»’s section got to work and dug a. huge hole fit ah tho empty tins, bill charleston "i.:d huge sums of money® bill bowler acted as loud speaker and number counter, basil murgntroyd, accompanied by a largo number of ready reckoners, counted tho number of « fins oaten* * * * tho groat day arrived* both mon look hungry after starring themselves for weeks* :i kanaka ,r , wearing a drossing gown of dirty white with coloured strips wan the first'to enter t he stage* he was followed by morriod who waddled. on in a tattered’ khaki and blue gown on which artist panovic had drawn a kiwi rampant with a tin of peanuts in its beak* ♦ * * at tho gong both non Reaped into action* ” kanaka h had the advantage of reach; norrio that of speed* they both grabbed tho sane tin. they wrestled* tho crowd n rod o morrio used his knee, kanaka 9 groaned and bit his oar. ************* * * * * ******** *****************

tho tin burst open and they scrambled for the nuts., * * * they then concentrated on tho mount ci nof tins before then, both mon ate tin for tin. tho crowd roared, building section mon .raced after empty tins for lining their tents« . morris slipped a few tins behind* scotty the crook: rushed him a cup of toa and toast, infused with now life norrio refused to wait for tins to bo opened; ho flicked empty tins out the side of bis mouth. this broke ” kanaka’s* morale, ho soon loot heart and norrio went on to win by a hundred and fity tins?, it was a great battle, despite tho protest by building Section that rorrio had swallowed the last hundred and one tins* x * * * the direct result of the defeat was to turn ” kanaka’s '* thoughts to dehydrating pea nuts which ho did on a grand scale. * * * his groat ar.biti-n was to meet norrio swift in another contest, but morrie who had to wear trousoros 'with a split crutch aver aftort tho match would not oat pea nuts again®