PERSONALITY PARADE NO. 8.

Dozerdust, Volume 1, Issue 10, 14 August 1943, Page 3

PERSONALITY PARADE NO. 8.

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"The Bor Ape 8

“I’m not on a grader, it’a a damned Perkins - , Sapper locale retorted when I attempted to enthuse over his job in the ?? Services Section. He was born in Dakaia, so his birth possibly had some connection with tho building of Hew Zealand’s longest bridge;* more foasable explanation of his hatred for the P.9.D. than hie claim that, like ’Farmer* Sainsbury and Dick Laurie, the Department was always on the wrong side. Hakaia (isolated village that it is), proved too hot for him, end at tho age of ten, he had to leave and settle in ‘•othven*. He was not associated with tho 3.0. fittings of that name, however. Re went to school in Ashburton, and roreaberc distinctly that exciting day when Alex Toner shifted the Public Conveniences round* He kept pigs for a time (maybe that explain/© his amazing eating abilities), but J his wife’s/ insistence on hie wearing a hat when visitors wore at the farm annoyed him so, that he offered hio services to the Army* They refused, but the Air Force *• was not so particular and accepted him* He perfected himself in the technique of holding a shovel-the P*' ( ?»D* had already given him some valuable expertonce-learnt to say *Pulla*, and gained the title of *3og Ape*. The Air Force finally caught up with him, however, and ha was transferred into Army.

Ho again cone in contact with Alox Toner who was now an ardent naturallot with a pickle bottle full of New Caledonia’s queer insects. Ho wished to add to his collection a brown and orange moth* but unfortunately choso Hac’s pet Horace (or was it Herbert), al the victim, I was not given tho lurid details, hut Alex la no longer a naturalist. At 6 o-clock in the evening when ho is cleaning up the left-overs in tho cook-honee*he dreams of a portable stone crusher * rattling (tiko Ids terth when eating barley sugar), over the paddocks, picking up boulders end dropping them crushed in tho correct position. He hopes to patent the idea lator* but in order not to got away from the Army altogether when demobilised, he is planning to buy a herd of goats.